Why does everyone think it's their right to know your sexuality and/or gender identity (and to be homo/transphobic)? To me, that's like going up to a stranger and asking, "Why do you have brown/blue/curly/short ect. hair?" and not understanding that they might not want to tell you (or be upset when you are horrible to them because they shared something personal). It's their right to have whatever hair colour they want and it has no impact on your life. It's also their right to feel safe and be free from discrimination and hatred. Recently, my mum's been trying to ask me in a roundabout way if I'm queer. She'll ask me why I support certain people (meaning LGBT) and not others, as if I'm discriminating against the majority (who have privilege and don't need someone fighting in their corner) by supporting the minority. She's confronted me about a picture (that I deleted last year and she shouldn't have seen). Which I thought was inconsiderate, since she's obviously been snooping and was trying to catch me out when she brought it up, out of the blue. She asked me why I've called myself gay in the past. I lied saying it's synonymous with 'stupid' and that all my friends do it (since we're perceived to be lesbians by most). Am I wrong to be angry/upset that she's being so tactless (since it has nothing to do with her)? I know she's had her suspicions for years, but it's like she's trying to force me out of the closet when we both know she won't accept me. I'm at the end of my tether, and I'd like to know what y'all think, your experiences and how you deal with it.
When I started going out dressed if I was approached by someone asked me if I was a guy or a girl, or anything else that was not their business I would get offended. After awhile as the person previous posted sometimes it just best if they want to know to ask. Regardless if you share or not, however if you do there maybe a small chance you to do some outreach and educate someone.
IMO it's rude to ask even though I wish my friends and family would in order to make coming out easier (Just answering their question honestly rather then trying to sit down and talk to them.).
cant stand people who will sit and make assumptions about me. I personally dont mind being asked if am gay although its not easy to tell if I am.
My mum does it to, but not as directly. I think mums just have a sixth sense about these things, and some times, in my case, and maybe yours too, they are eager to show their support. They think that if they ask, they're showing that they're open to it, but they don't want you to keep hiding things from them I guess. (This is based entirely on my experiences, it might be wrong.) If she's only doing it as an excuse to be mad at you for it, or to invalidate who you are, then that's really sucky Otherwise, I don't mind people asking, but I hate when people just make assumptions without even checking with you if they're right
I have actually never been asked. People tend to assume I am straight, but I do think it's a little weird that no one has ever asked. It would not bother me if they did...
My guess (and it is very much a guess, based only on what you've told us) is that your mum is trying to help you to come out to her. She might seem to be prying, but she probably just wants the two of you to be on the same page, and is trying to give you the opportunity to tell her.
While I get that's it's annoying to be asked, isn't it more annoying when people make incorrect presumptions?
She might be trying to help me come out, but she still thinks LGBT people shouldn't be represented in the media (because she doesn't want to have to see them), there is no need for pride events and that sexuality and gender can be influenced by music and what's on tv. In the past, people have come out to her, and she's been confused as to why they'd tell her and preferred they'd not have done so (even though she'd made her assumptions anyway). She then has to protect me from this person because she's scared they'll 'convert' me! She's not open to new ideas and when we talk about things it's black or white (straight or gay, male or female). There is no grey area or fluidity for her. She must be crazy if she thinks I'm going to come out (to her), when she's in control of my life. I want to enjoy my teenage years as best I can. I surround myself with LGBT positive media, which she hates with a passion, but I'm not going to stop (similarly, I won't push it by inviting her to watch). I'm not going to cut off a part of my identity to please her, but I'm not about to 'flaunt' it by coming out to her, so I don't know why she's pushing for it, without having changed (or at least adapted) her views and ideas.
It's not rude to ask about being homosexual but it is rude to be completely homophobic/transphobic after hearing the word "yes". If they're against it, fine. If they want to leave and burn bridges, fine.. do so but to be completely ignorant and say things like it's a sin or that they don't believe in it is completely uncalled for and unnecessary. I don't believe in Santa Clause but I'm not going to be saying my bit against it if someone else tells me that they do because that's their thing, not mine. So to be homophobic/transphobic to anyone because they don't specifically believe in or like it is well.. I just said it, it's uncalled for.
