Being out in high school?

Hard.
I don't pay attention to people.
They ask.
Gossip no, bullying only when they can't think of a better insult.
Good you don't feel like your hiding a big secret.

 

Sure, the news might spread like "gossip" but it's not bad. Plus, lots more kids these days are supportive/accepting LGBT.

 

I'm not out, but I would be surprised if some girls on my team didn't consider thinking of me as a lesbian. Since I act very butch (just trying to be male) and have never been in a relationship with anyone.

 

I am out to some people, and others don't seem to know or care, which is frankly perfectly fine. It pains me though that I sometimes have to hide it or avoid questions, it seems that most people think that I am definitely straight, which isn't exactly true.

 

I only know like 3 openly LGBT people and they're bi/pan so it's not like they couldn't have opposite-sex relationships if they wanted to

 

Before I say anything, I just want you and everyone else to know that this was my experience and that experiences vary. Though I would much rather share my experience with all of you so that if you do choose to come out during school then there should be some cautionary steps to take while doing so. I won't go into a long novelistic spiel about what happened so that it's less boring to read.

I want to start off by saying that prior to coming out, I was never informed about the LGBTQ+ community, No one ever talked to me about it, I didn't know anyone who was like that and therefore, I had no idea about homophobia. The first time I came out was to a class and in short, they didn't really care, we where all still friends etc. etc. Later that year (8th grade) we where told that the school would be shutting down permanently and that we would have to choose a new school to be enrolled in from a list of schools that where provided for us. I chose to go to the same school that all my friends where going to and unfortunately, my family and teachers told me no and put me into a different school with less kids and no one I really knew. Rest assured, I made some friends and everything was going swimmingly well.

I then met some friends who where 8th graders and one of them was bisexual, she explained bisexuality to me and I then told her that I was bisexual as well. The word of my bisexuality got out quick. The hate started small and subtle, I still had my friends and a lot of it I could ignore. Then the comments like "fag" and " Queer" started coming along. The hate for me grew stronger and stronger within weeks of opening up to one person and soon, the hate was so bad that I couldn't go to my locker without hearing as few as 10 people saying nasty things to me.

Then the rumors started coming. People where reporting that I was trying to kiss this person or I cornered that person and it got so bad that I started to have really bad thoughts about myself and I started to stay away from others, even my friends who didn't defend me at all. I ended up doing really bad things to myself and things that hurt other people including my family. The bullying got so bad that I ended up trying to take my own life multiple times. I lied to everyone about coming out because I was afraid that I was going to hear something like "well then you deserve to die" or that they'd believe that the rumors where true. My parents didn't help, no one wanted to help and when I was put into therapy, I was still very unsatisfied and unhappy because I felt like no one in the world would understand what I was going through. Eventually, I did meet other teens who where going through the same things I was.


I want everyone to learn something. DO NOT let anyone take you down and tell you that you're worthless or that you should die or that you don't belong because you know what? You're not worthless. You shouldn't die and you do belong. What they say is just words that they're trying to hurt you with. Instead of hating bullies, pity them, it's a lot easier. It may be hard to accept, but they are going through a lot and no, it's not an excuse to bully but it is their outlet. Most importantly, never hold a grudge against them.

But whether you're being bullied or not, life does get better. Much better. As a kid, I never though that my life would take a great turn but it did and I'm not just saying that. Holding onto hope is one of the best things you can do. Hope that things will get better. Hope that one day, you'll find your own path. It truly is the greatest gift.