I feel that to be truly 'queer' I have to lean more towards the 'gay' side of my attractions, so I focus on those, and then I think 'well doesn't that make me not pan' so I focus on my 'straight' ones then I go back to feeling not queer. Am I the only person who feels like this?
I don't know... I mean if you think about it, there's also pressure from non-LGBT to be more straight. Sometimes I think it's not about being more queer, but about "choosing a side." Which is annoying, I suppose. But no, I don't feel that pressure. I'm comfortable being attracted to whichever hot person comes my way.
Yes, and it is very strong. As strong as the pressure from heteronormative society to lean straight. I have gay friends that I can sense pulling away when I date a woman, and who seem to become very close and present in my life when I'm dating a man.
I don't feel that pressure however I will give you my ten cents on this. May get blasted by some for being so opinionated or generalizing but here is my take. I have been out to many LGBT places and you get the feeling they don't want a cross-dresser around. They are nice and polite but in large won't engage you like they will with others in their own segment of the LGBT community. The few gay and lesbians who I have befriended which are one of each, and trust me I've tried very hard. But both of these confirmed my suspensions and even said they were segments within their own segments. To be fair the trans community does the same thing. They have to label you in order to know if we can be friends. So its not only a gay thing personally I think it has lots to do with your own comfort level. Don't get wrong everyone is different....but that has been my experience.
I don't feel that pressure and never had, but I can recall it being mentioned on EC before. I think a lot of bisexual/pansexual/polysexual people experience such feelings.
In my honest experience, some gay people are insecure by opposite sex attractions due to heterosexism. It makes them feel inferior, so they lash out with hate. Not really okay in my book though. Personally, I don't care how one leans; bi people are still part of the community.
There probably is a pressure to lean gay, but I would say that the pressure to lean straight is overwhelmingly larger. I mean, this is the origin of the proverbial closet and the closet door, for the most part, swings in one direction.
I think it's quite flattering that both sides of the spectrum are fighting for my exclusive love, LOL. But I'm going to keep loving everybody. ^.~
