I have talked to a few people through the past years who have come out as gay to their parents. Then I started wondering why there is a tendency that if you are a guy and gay the dad seems to have a harder time coming to terms with your sexuality - and if you are a girl and a lesbian the mom seems to have a bigger problem with it rather than the dad. Do you have an explanation for it? - Or did you experience something different?
I'm not out to my parents, but my theory is that if you're a man and gay the mother can accept it better because she's also attracted to men, so that's one thing she can understand better, I guess? Same goes for father with a lesbian daughter. Honestly though, I've seen some cases where that rule doesn't apply. Sometimes the father of a gay man can be more open-minded than the mother and vice-versa and it doesn't matter if he has a gay son or daughter.
Seeing as I've come out to neither, this is more of an estimation, or an exploration rather, of the ideas which you've brought up. Being a parent, you want to share your knowledge and experiences, and passions with your children. Take hockey, for example. Oftentimes, parents sign their children up for the sport at a young age, so that they may experience what their parents did at that age, and enjoy the same hobbies. Hell, the only reason I cheer for the Habs is because my dad has had me watching their games since forever with him. Now, Imagine if I hated hockey. Instead, let's say I love tennis. My dad wouldn't be able to share that part of his life with me. He couldn't help me work on my shots, or yell at refs with me. It would surely be a bit of a disappointment, right? I think that might be the same kind of a disappointment parents feel when they realize (or come under the misconception that) they wont be able to share with their kid their best pickup lines, or be able to talk to them about boys and girls, as it's unchartered territory for them. They don't know shit about tennis. That's my guess, at least. It'll be neat to see what everyone else thinks.
at 18 I came out to my mum & dad Mum eventually said if your happy I am Dad told me He`d never accept me as gay so we dont talk about it much he met my partner Craig and just chatted about football quite happy with the outcome .
Similarly, usually for trans people, if you're transitioning to male, the mother has a harder time and if you're transitioning to female, the father has a harder time. My dad didn't have much of a reaction while my mom said she accepts me but still holds it against me when she's angry... My dad never does that, though. Somehow, I think Batman is right they say that the parent loses a way to relate to their child. If you like to get muscles, your mom probably won't be able to give you much tip. Similarly, if you like to use makeup, your dad will probably be clueless about how to help you with it. Now, it would be the same if you were born cisgender, but parents wouldn't have had the same expectations. If you are gay, your same sex parent will have trouble relating to you on that field, and it may make them a bit sad. Though, the opposite has been seen quite often, too. Just look at Leelah Alcorn. Her mom was the one who was the most against it.
