Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?

I would say so, but some people can't take the pain of heartbreak. I'd imagine it would be different for everyone. I think I would rather love and lose.

 

Better to have love definitely , it lonely as hell to never experience love at all

 

I would say just because the love has ended, doesn't mean the love never existed. If times were happy in the past a break-up shouldn't retroactively change how you felt.

 

Nope, definitely not.

 

Depends on the person.

I was never lonely before I fell in love the first time and didn't lament that. Now I've been in love twice, and I haven't been single much since that first time but, I don't lament losing those loves either. I appreciate the experience and it certainly made me grow into a better person. So for me, I guess it was better to have loved and lost, because I like who I am now.

 

Depends:

If you love someone and they pass away before you (such as you grow old together and they die, or even unexpectedly), I'd say the relationship is worthwhile and it's better to have loved and lost!

But, if you love someone and find out they're an asshole and the relationship goes up in flames I think it's better to not have loved at all!

So since most people go through many assholes before they find a decent person, its usually not true!

 

I totally believe it's true. Every relationship whether the end is good or bad is a chance to learn and grow as an individual. For example a bad relationship can mean you appreciate someone who is good for you on an entirely different level.

 

Experiencing love, even if it doesn't work out, is better than never getting to experience love.

 

I think love is usually worth it. It can depend on the relationship. I try to treat negative experiences as lessons. Although I might not be singing the same tune if a partner seriously tried to kill me.

I used to think love would be impossible for me because I'm kind of weird. It's scary (it gets easier with time) to directly confront my demons, but I've changed as a person. Although I was pretty cynical after my first heartache. It took years to come out of that void.

Heartache hurts the first time, the second time and so on. Some people have even appeared to die from heartache. It reminds me that there are famous quotes about being afraid to live because we're too afraid to die.

It's important to note that breaking up isn't always the ultimate end of a relationship. Some people remain friends with their exes. Sometimes you don't really lose somebody. The relationship just changes.

 

Loved and lost.

Otherwise you will make "love" more than what it is... see any book or movie and you will think love is something divine... it is not... Talking about romantic love of course.

 

Yes. Being in love broadens your view of the world. To have loved and lost is painful, but the regret of not trying is far worse.

 

Better to have not loved at all.

Indifference (not loved at all) is better than heartbreak (loved and lost).
Indifference is also better than love, if you're used to and comfortable with indifference in the first place.

You get used to the feeling of love after a while and it becomes your 'indifference', so to speak; because you're comfortable with it and it's your default state of mind. Then it gets taken away... whereas the latter situation remains the same and no loss.

 

I do not know, maybe because you are younger than me and had experienced love... But me being 23 and having never experienced love i would prefer to be one of those that has loved and lost, instead of being one of those who has never been loved... First because i feel romantically imcompetent and it makes me think about how my lack of confidence has direct effect on this, second because i feel alien to the whole relayionship stuff others talk about, third because im beginning to feel that i will never be in a relationship, as irrational as i know this thought is, one does not easily get rid of irrational recurring thoughts, i want to know i can, even if it means a heartbreak, and i want to beat my lack of confidence, and to begin getting it (dating).. On the other hand i cannot deny im grateful that two of the women who i have loved have remained close friends to me.

 

From a beneficially logical perspective, it is best to never have loved.

Love makes you vulnerable, and even more so, because you have to be, because it is what allows love to flourish and grow. Vulnerability is the water to the seed that is trust.

The moment you bring somebody into your life fondly, is the moment you produce a gaping hole in your individual armor. You are essentially depending on another -- trusting them -- to not sink anything into that hole, and tearing it further apart. And if not the one you love, then others who would use that to their advantage, might just do such a thing.

It takes trust of a magnificent significance to love, but it also takes a tremendous strength. Perhaps even more so of the latter.




However...

... having felt unloved almost my entire life -- I've been admired, feared, impressive, appalling -- is a decaying experience.

To stand there, on the sidelines, and not be wanted is maddening. To see others, even those who you feel should not have acknowledgement, for whatever reasons, justified or pettiness, makes you feel inferior because you must have something lesser about you. It can make you feel incomplete, because you must not have something useful. It can make you feel embrace hatred, because you would rather burn warm than suffer coldly.

As a child, one of the worst things is to be isolated from the others, to be labeled [insert school yard insult here], because it means you're worthless. You aren't worth anything to anybody; you even get to be the grade school punching bag. You don't get picked for any groups, you don't get anybody to socialize with, you don't get to be equal with everybody else -- and it hurts.

Some might perceive being emotionally numb or oblivious as useful, and it can be -- but in the right circumstances. All the time, no, it is a stealth assassination of humanity, one which many allow to continue operating. You may not be able to be hurt, which is fine and dandy, but you are also cutting off the chance of an emotional high -- a sensation of appreciation and desirability; to belong.

I do not recall anybody telling me they love me, growing up or the past several years, in a serious context. As logical as I pride myself as being, there is one question that even my mind struggles with:

You preach that positivity message to everybody else, well hotshot, where's your proof that it even actually works?​

Needless to say, this both humbles and hurts me. I would rather, even if just once, know that somebody else actually wanted me to love, than to go through life and always feel like I was just an extra accessory.




Never to have loved, logically.
Better to have loved and lost, personally.

 

From Khalil Gibran's The Prophet, on Love:

Love is fierce and demanding of your greatest courage, the courage to be vulnerable, it is not only peaceful or a mere pleasure. In love you can reach the highest joys and the lowest agony. It is our deepest human experience. To have loved and lost is, in the most profound sense, to have lived your fullest life.

 

No I believe it's best not to expose your heart in that way

 

As someone who has never been loved while everyone around me is receiving love (friends and classmates), and it's quite depressing, I would say it is better to be loved and have loss. Otherwise it seems as if you're not experiencing life the most you can.

 

I've never experienced love, either.
In relation to your first point, I'm in the same boat as you and also suffer a lack of confidence. I feel alienated to relationships, like you. Every thought you've enlisted, I feel and think the same of, despite the years senior you are to me. But I'm someone who doesn't get over disappointment easily and that's where I think our opinions differ.
I enjoy the passivity of my life. I love that everything's the same and doesn't change. I'm comfortable with my indifference, so to speak.
In addition, I've found more, but not my fullest, confidence through finding friends and putting myself out there, or attempting to through trying to sort myself some employment. This, in turn, adds to my apathy for relationships as I deem them less useful. I've found different ways to achieve the same satisfaction.

 

well i didn't have suicidal thoughts before i got rejected.so i guess its better not to have loved at all.