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Do you ever get misgendered at the drive-thru?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by AlamoCity, Feb 18, 2015.

  1. AlamoCity

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    Do you ever get misgendered at the drive-thru (or telephone)? Because only your voice is available to the other person, it can be harder for them to use visual cues to gender you. Plus, many drive-thrus have crappy audio.

    For example, while I am usually never misgendered, my dad is called "ma'am" half the time he places a drive-thru order. We always just laugh about it because sometimes the cashiers get flustered once they see the mistake they made :lol:. I wonder if this is common with other folks, too.
     
  2. KayJay

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    Pretty much anytime I'm on the phone with someone I don't know, but whatever really. In person I'm super rarely misgendered.
     
  3. Lawrence

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    I almost never use drive-thrus. But I do get misgendered over the phone. My voice is pretty high. It doesn't usually bother me that much to get misgendered over the telephone because it's quick.

    I could probably throw my voice for a short time but that idea doesn't usually cross my mind when I've made a mad dash to the telephone.

    Slightly related. I order the bulk of my shopping online. I look around 14 or 15 years old. I wonder if TESCO perform background checks because delivery drivers almost never ask for my ID even when my shopping contains alcoholic drinks.

    One time a delivery driver checked my ID and he had this look on his face that said 'I don't believe the age on this ID but I can't be bothered creating a scene over some bitch drinks.'
     
  4. TigerInATophat

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    Not misgendered, but once years ago someone on the phone did think that I was Welsh (?!?) Maybe it was the remnants of the French accent I picked up from my mother that had gradually faded over time.

    Funny thing, when I was underage I could easily buy alcohol when I was inclined to do so without ever being asked for ID once. Now as an adult I don't buy alcohol but I'm always being asked for ID, including when I was in Poundland buying FORKS of all things. Why? : 'In case you stab someone with them.' Because you know, if I was a teenager intending to stab someone, in a shop that sells kitchen knives right in the same aisle at the same price, then of course I would choose FORKS!
     
  5. Austin

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    I don't really use either much but I can't recall being misgendered. I can't recall them using pronouns really in general...
     
  6. monome

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    On the phone and in similar situations it happens often that I am interpreted as female and sometimes as male. I guess my voice must be somewhere in between and when I produce slight changes in the tone I can control this a bit :slight_smile:
     
  7. AwesomGaytheist

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    Until I was about 13, I got called ma'am on the phone all the time. Their reactions when I'd correct them were priceless...
     
  8. Nekoko

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    I get misgendered everywhere I go! :lol: there was a time people thought I was my mom over the phone though! That was always entertaining! :lol: I don't vocally pass yet but I'm working on it, it's slightly easier than physically passing for me right now :slight_smile:
     
  9. Kaiser

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    Technically, yes. But that is because I don't really "pass".

    Also, folks still say "sir" and "ma'am"? Around here, they rarely say that anymore. Of course, they still say "thank you".

    Then again, by drive-thru, I assume you are referring to the likes of McDonald's... it'd be nice if Red Lobster had a drive-thru though, LOL.
     
  10. Toast8971

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    usually as I can make my voice pretty low :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  11. Lawrence

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    It feels like they're misgendering me when they say words such as miss and love. It also feels a bit demeaning. They can't read my mind. There's little point in wasting time creating a hassle with a stranger.

    It reminds me of how a guy's behaviour dramatically changed when he thought I was a girl. He'd previously assumed I was a guy because we had only talked on a survivalist forum. He was way more polite and even lied about a knife seeing action in Iran or Iraq. I told mr narcissist exactly what he wanted to hear and got that blade really cheap. I was going to mention that on one of your previous threads but I forgot.
     
  12. NingyoBroken

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    I don't use drive thrus since I hate fast food.

    But yeah, in voice only situations I used to get misgendered, not much anymore, at least when talking to Japanese people (for some reason, I've noticed lots of guys with slightly higher voices there than here).
     
  13. Quiet Raven

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    People still say sir and ma'am all the time here.

    And I'm in the same boat as you. I don't pass at all, so yeah.
     
  14. Burnedcloset

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    Yes. A lot of the time I do. And honestly, I could care less. When I order food I talk in a very feminine way anyway.
     
  15. Cnidocyte

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    It has never happened at a drive-thru most likely because I don't often eat fast food. On the phone I receive more ma'am and misses than sirs, my own family often mistakes me for my mother.
     
  16. MeganMarie

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    Yes it happened a few times.

    last time was at the Popeyes drive thru. I needed a coke and it was raining out did not feel like getting out in the rain. Ordered my coke and went I went to the window to pay the young lady said " yes sir ", she quickly apologized and said sorry ma'am. she got my coke and she apologized again. I told her girl I don't know half the time.

    But I did thank her for knowing the polite thing to do she just goofed.
     
  17. confuzzled82

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    Yes, all the time. Almost always am misgendered in person.

    Occasionally I do get properly gendered, then for some reason people think they made a mistake and backpedal, correcting themselves. That really sucks.
     
  18. Incognito10

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    Up into about my early 20s, people would call me Ma'am on the phone at work. I don't really have it happen anymore, so I am not sure if my voice sounds deeper. Also, when I lived at home, people thought I was my mother when I answered the phone.
     
  19. NingyoBroken

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    Sadly, they do here. It fucking sucks. People who know me since before I was out still call me "ma'am" or "lady" even though I don't look, sound, act, or talk anything like a girl. Next time I'm correcting them, screw what mom thinks.
     
  20. drwinchester

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    Drive-thru? Funny enough, not really. But I guess that's because I don't really go to drive-thrus and if I do, I'm usually with someone else, like brother or partner.

    Over the phone? Yes. and I hate it. If I hear another "ma'am" one more time over the phone, I'm gonna go postal I swear.

    In public I don't really get misgendered most of the time so I guess that's a good thing. Except when it does happen (like medical situations) and then it's fucking awful.