How do you feel about internet/online friendships?

Growing up gay and in a small town i relied on the internet for online dating or friendships with other gay people. It worked for me because growing up in a small town there are few gay people and i needed that support and interaction and i developed some pretty great friendships online that helped me accept my sexuality and so on. It works differently for everyone but it worked for me. I even my now boyfriend while online dating and we are still together so interacting online worked out well for me.

 

I guess for me there are different levels of online friendship. There are those who I'm content to chat with online, then there are some who I would indeed like to meet in person and develop a "real life" friendship with. I have had some pretty close online friendships. Being an introvert and more inclined to communicate through text it's been easier for me to befriend others online. I will say, though, that it's also a lot easier for online friendships to drift, especially if you are geographically far apart. But, one of my best friends is a friend I met online. We still communicate online mainly as he lives pretty far, but he's visited a few times and we talk on the phone from time to time too. He's helped me through a lot and I feel really lucky to have met him. I would say, try to open yourself up to the possibility, because you never know who you may meet. Just exercise caution, of course, especially if you choose to meet them in person at some point.

 

Very, very good question.

If you're on a forum long enough, you know who is your speed ... most of the time.

I have met some people from other forums related to altogether different topics after posting there for a while and messaging with people and, when we met, it was a good situation. If I lived closer to them, I'm (almost) sure we'd be friends. But this was related to hobby type stuff and not more personal issues like we discuss here.

But to depend on an internet situation and create illusions or delusions about the quality of the friendships without really knowing people isn't such a good idea. You can get a good idea about whether you'd like someone's style and thinking from their posts, though. I know that has certainly been my experience on EC.

 

The pros of online friendship: you can sort of canvas and prequalify a person. For me being a part time cross-dresser and have to maintain some amenity it is helpful. However for the people who live within my area i make it a point at somepoint we will have to meet, some things you just can not gather from the virtual world.

The cons of online friendship: sometimes people will be different because they can hide behind their keyboards and say something they would not say in person. Also you can not gather facial expressions or other personally things via virtually.

 

I think online friendships are fine. Ive been friends with lots of people online. Those friendships wont ever be as personal as rea life friendships though

 

I consider a lot of people online real friends

 

It's nice to talk to people online sometimes (guess why I'm still here, ha) but I find it hard to actually consider it friendships. To be friends, I want to meet someone every now and then or at least have seen them once or twice.

 

My two best friends happen to live on another continent. I've only met one in person, though. I think it doesn't really matter where they are, as long as you get along. Of course, it does suck that you can't do things together, but I mean... I'm in a "band" with one, so it's not really that hard to communicate, I guess. Another bonus is that you can get language practice if they're from another language background.

 

Nakama are nakama it doesn't matter where the hell they are

 

I'm fine with online friendships and I have several that I keep in touch with on Skype and things like that.

The problem is that sometimes you don't always have time for online friends. Real-life friends are a priority.

 

One good thing about online friendships is that you can easily seek out people you have something in common with. For instance, I am a huge fan of Wicked and write a lot of Wicked fanfiction. Through doing this, I have started to talk to other Wicked fans, both on the website and on twitter.

Last May, I met one of them for the first time, and she turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. Even though we've only met twice, I consider her one of my closest friends, and I also have a huge crush on her. So no matter what people say about online friendships, I have nothing bad to say about them if it meant that I got lucky enough to meet someone like her.

 

I haven't had any online friendships before, but I made a really great friend on this forum and it's nice to have someone to relate to and talk about personal things with because I'm not friends with an LGBT people in real life. It's really helping me accept myself and deal with things. I like it a lot, but it makes me sad that we can't see each other physically in real life at the moment. It's nice to have a friend that I can tell anything to and who will accept me completely just the way I am because I don't really have any in real life at the moment.

 

I see no issue with them. My best friend and I met online and we've been close and known each other for over 7 years now. We've met in real life once, and it was like nothing was different from our time spent together.

Personally to me, real life friendships are more impersonal and I never bond or care about my real life friends whatsoever. Especially since you meet them by chance and It's more likely you have very little in common.

Funny how all my internet friendships last more than 5 years while all my real life ones last less than a year. I just feel nothing in common with them and feel awkward hanging out with anyone in person since I'm so asocial to begin with.

 

I have had quite a few online friendships, but I keep in mind that they may not last. And that's ok. I have someone who I helped from committing suicide about 9 years ago. I was moderating a forum, and I initially viewed him as a whiner and pain in the ass at first. But he needed help. Eventually, he got on the right meds and got a lot better. He took an interest in my life, and things got a lot better in our talks.

 

I don't just support it, I actively encourage it. It gives you a way of reaching out to many different people. And not just some 'far-off okay friend'. I've met both of my best friends for life Online. You never know.

The first I met on Neopets when I was 10 years old. We never stopped talking since. Through thick and thin, always have been there for each other. She is in Texas and I am not, obviously. But that never mattered. Fast forward a whole 13 years later, she came to stay with me for 2 months and we had a blast. c:

The second friend I also met on Neopets, but I was 11. We had started by role-playing at the time and we just clicked personality-wise. We aren't blood, but we're sisters for sure. Again, always have been there for each other and shared the ups and downs of any friendship. We're considering getting an apartment someday since we live very similar habits and styles. She lives in Ontario, so it wouldn't be as challenging to get together or move.

Never discount Online friendships. I would have never met these people if I did. They have literally saved my life when the days were at it's darkest and I felt I had no one else to turn to. And I know I've done the same for them. True friendship does not lie in proximity- it lies in the heart and how much you equally care about each other.

*queues up cheesy music*

 

I have many internet friends who I truly see as friends and I love them as friends and they are friends, one of these friends is my bestest friend, she lives in a foreign country about 4-5 hours away, but that does not sever the connection that we have.

I believe that anyone who says internet friendships are not real is wrong. Just because you cannot physically touch them, why does that mean that the emotional bond is not strong? If anything, I believe my emotional bond to my online friend is stronger than that of most of my 'real' friends.

You mentioned that sometimes you feel obliged to reply to someone whom you are an internet friend to, while this may be the case, my friends understand if I do not want to chat at that current time, but a lot of the time I reply anyway because they can cheer me up.

My online best friend probably knows more about me than ANYONE I know physically does, except my other best friend who I have physical contact with.

 

"What do you think about friends you meet online? Do you consider these to be "real" friendships? What pros and cons have you noticed about online friends versus real-life friends?"

With me being a loner and having a really hard time with people generally, online friends have been an extremely important aspect of my life.
I do consider them real friendships to an extent. Without being able to hang out with them in person it's difficult to know if you really know them or if they really know you but there are real bonds being made regardless. Its just a different kind of friendship.

 

Without online friends, I'd have no friends at all.

 

They are nice... Friends are friends like Kageshiro said so it makes little difference if they are real life ones or not.

Especially at my age and today's living conditions you are lucky if you can see your real life friends once in a month. Most of them married with children so they need time to spent with their children/suppouse or extended family. If you think most people in here works on Saturdays as well that only leaves one day to take care of house chores or have quality time with family.

Online friends has one big disadvantage, they tend to revolve around a common interest... like this forum, online games or chat rooms. In one way or other if that "common" thing is out of picture, friendship follows the same fate...

Unlike in real life I am so easy to claim friends in online enviroinments. That usually means "you are okay, I'd like to spend time with you" then in time they turn into a good friendships depending on the sharing or mutual feelings. In any case I think it is nice to give people an ear to chew on which is very rare in nowadays.