A little bummed out

i personally have a problem with replying sometimes because the things written are simply so perfect and to the point and i'm extremely crappy with words. dunno if that goes for everyone but all the posts i saw from you so far were really nice and encouraging.so sometimes even when noone answers it will allways be appreciated

 

I think people like what they like. So I don't worry even a bit if the thread I started get no replies, people don't quote my words or whatever.

I just say my piece and left. However there is another factor in EC, most people are asking for advice and those posts really put a strain on me. Check my message count, double or triple it for the ones I write, on threads and walls... I don't send everyone of them because it might hurt those people, it might misunderstood so usually leave it to better ones on the forums to reply.

This is why I am so thankful for Jay, Patrick, Kaiser, Greatwhale, EC Staff and others who kindly take time and reply those people in need.

 

If you need to talk I'm here for you just wall message me

 

Another thing to bear in mind is international time zones and how this affects the number of threads created and replies received. If you post at certain times of the day many members will be sound asleep and the forum will be very quiet, with only 40-50 people logged in. Post at other times and there are so many people logged in that activity levels soar and threads/posts can be overlooked.

If you create a thread I think it's a good idea to be as concise as possible too. Sometimes people add a huge amount of back story, so you are confronted with a wall of text to read through before you can send a reply. If it's germane to the subject and needs to be said, fair enough, but it's really important to consider how much time it will require of another member if they decide to reply. Whilst some people log in to EC for hours, others come here for a short time only. Just something to think about.

 

Exactly. A wall of text tends to be intimidating, and sometimes I just look at the forum briefly and don't have time to read, let alone reply to a large post.

 

You can chat via wall messages as regular member, after 10 postings.
Just click on the username -> view public profile
You find a wall text window there, where you can exchange messages like in a chat.

 

As someone who posts in other forums too, I think the format of this forum might contribute to it. There's no nested comments, no "likes"...maybe that makes it seem like you're being ignored when you're not. I'm not ragging on the forum, this site is full of awesome people, but it's like...I'm just sort of used to a different format where you have more opportunity to make direct responses to individuals.

 

PatrickUK summed it up very well. I'd add this, though:

This forum gets slammed with multiple variations of the same things, and sometimes when somebody responds to one or two others, that's it. They don't feel like repeating themselves. And sometimes, you might find the answer to your situations in other threads, of similar-enough circumstances.

Also, and this is unfortunate, many of the more active participants for giving advice/comfort/encouragement, as fabulous as they are, are still human beings with strengths and limitations. It may just be, what you need assistance or help with, is not these active individual's strong points.

Normally, any word is better than nothing, but sometimes, especially for matters pertaining to identity or the heart, if one is not up to par, it is best to leave it be. That sounds harsh, but it is true.

Don't feel alienated. It takes time to find your fit, offline or online.

 

I read a lot more than I respond. Although sometimes I don't read every reply before I post my own.

I don't really feel qualified to answer questions pertaining to real-time calculus or crossdressing. No matter how much I try to understand the work of Sir Roger Penrose and sexuality books.

The best advice I could give you is to worry less about it and strangely it works better that way.

I prefer to stay on the sidelines because I was popular on another website and it drained my time. I still get emails from it. But if I wanted to get more engaged, I'd join the chat room and post more on the walls of other memebers. You'll give more than you receive but you will see returns.

 

I kinda feel the same. But I'm a member of a few forums and that's just the way the internet seems to work. If someone agrees with you they'll just ignore your post if they disagree with you they might not want to engage in an argument and so on

 

Try not to worry about it too much, you'll get used to it. I think it makes it harder to see the view count than anything else, because you know that say.. 52 people looked at it and only one replied. It makes you feel like people either don't care or don't want to deal with you but I like to think of it as, they don't know how to respond to the topic after looking at the details or someone else has said what they where going to say.

Though, maybe you should try talking to others first if you haven't tried already.

 

There are always a lot of lurkers on any forum.