Yeah, it's another fem related thread but this is something I've observed quite a bit. For the most part, masculine gay guys are only attracted in other masculine or "normal" guys and well, that's fine, it's their preference after all. But I always hear this exact quote. "I wouldn't date a fem but I would be friends with one." I've seen/heard this quote so much and it just makes me wonder... Are feminine gay guys always the "friend" and never the "boyfriend" about 75-80% of the time? It just seems that way... Like that famous quote, "Always the bridesmaid, never the bride" sorta speak. It does suck to think about at times but I do think it's true that we mostly are just the friends. In my experience, if you do find a guy whose into your femininity, it's mostly a "STR8" guy who wants to have gay sex but justify it not being "gay" because the guy isn't manly. So we're mostly used as sex toys and fetishes only worth sex but no relationship. Sure, they say they will want one with you but you know they don't mean it. :rolle: *sigh* But uh yeah, I just wanted to hear some other opinions on this (preferably from other feminine gay guys, masculine guys just wouldn't understand).
I thought you were going to say we were the friend - to everyone but could never find a guy. Lol. I think that's another part, too. I don't have anyway guy friends. The current male friend I have could possibly think I'm straight, since I haven't known him long. Lol
i don't think this is true i mean i don't think i'm fem and don't think i'm masculine but honestly I FEEL I AM MORE FEM THAN I AM MASCULINE. also i guess everyone just assumes i gay, until they confirm it by asking? i don't know i mean i feel there are a lot of people out there you know? some of them are just bound to be attracted to fem guys? and as for the part about the guys who want to mess around? maybe you should avoid them all together after all those are not people i would want to be around or be friends with, at most, acquaintances.
Well actually, that's what I was kind of implying. When I meant "friend", I mean that when you try to date someone but they don't like you in that way and only see you as a "friend." Yeah I know there are a lot of people out there but I can't help but see a pattern. And it's kind of hard to find a masculine guy who'd be into you for you and not just because he has a fetish on feminine guys. Usually, fetishists aren't capable of fully loving the inside of a person they fetish because they are too focused on it. And like I said, when I do come across a potential guy who seems interested, he's only interested because I'm not masculine and thus, he can't be considered "gay" because of that. And he'd never be open to having a real, honest relationship. Just a fuck session. "Fuck and go" until he hits you up when he's horny or the classic. He's married but wants a "fem slutty twink" on the side.
Wait, you've met guys who are okay with being with a fem guy because it's as if he's with a woman, so he doesn't feel like it's that gay to have sex with him? That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard and really, really demeaning to a fem guy.
I'm not very feminine, even though I have some feminine traits and mannerisms, and a fluid voice that changes sound depending on the mood I'm in, usually to a child-like sound. I have experienced romantic attraction to femme guys. I've even enjoyed the aesthetics of them. Frankly, I think femme guys are the type of men I'm into. Yeah, a few masculine ones here and there, but I'm more attracted to fems, regardless of whether or not they're attracted to me. They're so affectionate, caring, kind and filled with love, and I can see myself forming a strong emotional bond with that person. :love: I hope that doesn't sound creepy...
I don't necessarily think that the Femme gay guys are always the Friend. I can say though that everyone has their own preference when it comes to physical attraction. I gotta be honest, and I do like guys who are very big and muscular but am I big and muscular as well? fairly so when I get rejected from guys who are very buff, I try to look back and try not to take it personally, since these guys would definitely (not always) go for their own body type but then again if this is the only thing that they are looking for in a guy, then I think that really says something more about them.
Oh you'd be surprised. I have talked to 3 "straight" guys who felt this way. It really is demeaning for sure. And I know there is more of them out there. It's not weird, you're just being honest but you really are a rare commodity because like I said, most guys aren't interested in feminine guys. Come on, no need to be PC about it, there is a truth to it I think. But I do hear you, I too, love big muscular/bodybuilder types (seriously, there is no such thing as too big to me) but I don't look like one and I don't want to look like one either so I understand being rejected for not being up to par even if I do workout to stay in shape.
Also, I don't mean to imply that masculine guys lack these. Not trying to imply it at all, in case it comes acoss that way.
No, you're right there IS truth which is why I'm trying to say that anyone has their own preference which I forgot to ask if you, yourself would date a femme guy? Also so much truth with these "straight" guys who wants feminine guys who just want to treat them as fetish. What's even sickening to me is that there are actual straight guys here in my place who only use these gay guys for money and it is sad because it's not uncommon at all.
"Would I date a femme guy?" -This is kind of where I'm a hypocrite. Honestly, I would prefer a masculine guy but only because I like the yin/yang aspect. Balance if you will. However, if I met a fem guy with mutual attraction and got along nicely, I think I could. But for the most part... As horrible as it sounds, I am into masculine guys mostly and I'm just feeding into that machine it feels like but I can't help it. Wait what? Straight guys are using feminine gay guys for money? How does that work...? I mean, a straight guy paying a feminine guy to sleep with him, I understand but never heard of the opposite spectrum.
No, it's the other way around, lmao sorry for wording it out very poorly but yeah it's sad when straight guys use these gay guys and it's not even in exchange for sex but just to be "lovers"
Lovers huh? More like "fuck toys" to me. This happened to me once.. Met an older guy who was just my type and at the time, seemed interested in me but now that I think of everything he did, he treated me like a fetish more than a person. And the telling sign was that he would never stop talking about "ladyboys" from Thailand. You know, transsexuals (Chicks with dicks). I'm happy I didn't do too much with him but just realizing what he was like, makes me sick and slightly depressed. :dry:
I know plenty of feminine guys in relationships. Of course, if you're the type who has 99% female friends, and mostly spends time with them, doing things that most guys don't care for, it's going to be more difficult. You have to put yourself out there, say "this is who I am", and accept that some are going to be turned off. At least you won't be lying or leading anyone on, and when someone does come around, they'll be attracted to authentic parts of you. There are "straight guys" who are sought out by closeted gay and bisexual men, but for a relationship? No. "Just sex", they say, and besides, they're straight: they have wives, girlfriends, or children. Oh, and that quote is no different than the one regarding race: I'll be friends with ___ people, but would never date them. Bigotry is bigotry, let's at least be honest about that.
Lucky them lol. I don't really have any friends these days and the only "guyish" thing I do is workout and play video games. Everything else is debatable. I tend not to think about it. I do put myself out there every now and then and it's usually "most" turned off or the small few who are, no mutual attraction. So it gets a little frustrating and you can't help but wonder what will happen in the future when you get older. And I disagree with the "attracted to the authentic you". In my experience, I attract "straight" men who want to fuck a feminine boy but not want any relationship. And most are married (which is no go). I have yet to meet a GAY man interested in me and probably never will. And believe me, I hear you on race. I'm Black and have had my fair share of "not attracted to blacks." But you just get desensitized after awhile (especially online because you see the "no blacks" "no asians" so frequently). Is it racist? Eh... It depends on how they say it.
Have you thought of trying openly bisexual men? They usually have no qualms messing with feminine men, nor women, or transgenders, at least from my experience. I've also heard some bears are more open-minded.
