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Fem Gay guy pretending to be girl on dating site?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by BloodFlame, Feb 23, 2015.

  1. BloodFlame

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    This has been something I've been thinking about for awhile and was actually considering to do. As some may already know, I tend to talk about fem gay guys because well, I am fem myself and the whole hypocritical of some of us (Fem guys) when we prefer to date masculine gay men over other feminine guys like us. I've really tried to change my attraction but it's just no use, I still like Masculine guys and only see fem guys as friends.

    But as shown, masculine GAY (not counting bisexual here) guys are mainly attracted to other masculine guys. It makes sense. But then, what happens to the feminine gay guys who like them but can't measure up?

    I remember talking with my brother and one of his straight friends. I forgot how this topic got brought up but his friend said that if he were ever gay, he'd only go for feminine gay guys or Crossdressers. Now, I'm sure he's not gay, he mostly does talk about girls but it did leave me thinking.

    For some fem guys who want to meet and date a masculine guy, could it be possible to meet one through a straight dating site? What I mean is, like say if I bought a long wig & learned some makeup techniques. Then applied all this and pretended to be a girl on said dating site to meet a straight guy. Do you think a feminine gay guy could have the chance to meet and date a straight guy?

    I only say this because femininity seems to repulse gay men but for straight men, they tend to love and appreciate femininity more. So it really made me think... Any thoughts on this?
     
  2. maselalala

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    I like feminine guys lol, and I'm not sure if that'd be a good idea..
     
  3. LibertyValance

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    Uhhhhh...... Well I think this particular idea will not pan out particularly well in reality. One has to remember the reason they are on a STRAIGHT dating site is because they are looking for someone of the opposite sex. What you are suggesting sounds like cat-fishing where you pretend to be someone you are not. There is a lot of material about peoples experience with cat-fishing and it is almost universally negative. After all what you would be doing is literally deceiving the other person, and deception is not exactly a good foundation for friendship/relationships/bonding in general. The reaction from the person you deceive when you actually meet up in person (assuming that is your intention) would likely range from polite rejection at best to physical assault at worst. There are actual incidences where legitimate trans people have even been beaten and killed since the person they were meeting with thought they were biologically the gender they present as. I would highly advise against attempting to do any such cat-fishing.
     
  4. BloodFlame

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    Maybe but sometimes, you have to take risks right? lol

    Yeah, I'm aware of the potential violence that can happen but I'm still a guy lol I have learned how to fight and defend myself so if it ever got to that point, I'd just put my self-defense into use.

    But yeah, I'm just curious. It sucks when the majority of what you want, doesn't want you back or in this case, your femininity being such a "boner-killer" (lol). But then, you have these guys (straight men) who love femininity and aren't repulsed by it. So I just assumed... But yeah, it'd be deceitful, I won't deny that.
     
    #4 BloodFlame, Feb 23, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2015
  5. LibertyValance

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    [In reference to bold section] Well then you should know that the first rule of self defense is to know how to avoid situations where you would be forced to have to defend yourself physically. Not to mention there is a limited utility to self defense in certain situations, especially if you are facing someone with far greater physical strength than yourself. Better simply to avoid putting oneself in such a situation.

    [In reference to underlined section] unfortunately an attraction to femininity in females does not equate to finding femininity in males attractive. Most of my straight friends find more "womanly" women attractive, but think that femininity in a man is weird, not necessarily unattractive. Why? Because they aren't looking at a male in terms of attractiveness irregardless of how masculine or feminine they are. So while they may not find feminine men inherently less attractive than masculine ones, it is more by virtue of them not looking to evaluate attractiveness in men. That said most straight guys I know still don't hold the highest view of feminine men due to their perceived difference from the masculine norm, hence finding them weird. But the main jist of it is, they aren't interested in dating a man, regardless of whether he behaves effeminately or not. It's the female anatomy in combination with femininity that gets their rocks off, not just the femininity. And conversely the male anatomy is a turn off to them irregardless of whether the guy said anatomy is attached to is effeminate.
     
  6. redneck

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    Sounds like a good way to wind up beaten, stabbed, or shot to me.
     
  7. BloodFlame

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    Well that just blows... Well I mean, yeah, I'm not a woman, no vagina or boobs.
    *sigh* Oh well... It was just a thought any way. Man, I just wish there was a dating site that was made for masculine looking for feminine guys since most of the ones like ******, S*****, ******, etc are just "Masc 4 Masc". Man, this is why I'm envious of straights sometimes, they're much more open to dating opposites. lol
     
  8. bicomplicated

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    I agree. This is a bad idea. It is catfishing. You won't get a good reaction from the guy once he finds out you are a guy. Do you have any problem dating masculine bisexual men? And there are gay men who date fem guys. What about dating a guy who is somewhere inbetween fem and masculine? Also, as a fem gay yourself, why discriminate and limit yourself as to who you date? Not to sound hateful with the last part just wondering.
     
  9. Daydreamer1

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    I don't think that's a good idea. People tend to not take the news of being catfished kindly.
     
  10. BloodFlame

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    I have tried bisexual masculine men. The first one, chose his ex-girlfriend over me. The second guy chose his ex-wife over me. The problem I have with bisexual men is they will usually just choose a girl in the end because either they like them more than guys or it's easier for them to date and be accepted in society. So bisexual guys just rub me wrong a little after those two experiences...

    I already know I'm being a hypocrite for not being attracted or wanting to date another feminine guy. I've tried to get past it but I just can't. I don't get romantic feelings towards another feminine guy, only a friend level. In the end, I'd prefer someone masculine because it balances out my feminine personality. I would date an inbetween guy but I rarely find them, at least in my area.

    I know that it makes sense why masculine gay men prefer other masculine men. They like men, "if they wanted a girl, they'd date one" and blah blah blah. Heard it all but it just sucks sometimes. That's why I was thinking maybe I should try straight guys as they like femininity and aren't repulsed but like Liberty Valance said, they want women, not feminine men. So it feels like feminine guys who can't get masculine guys, have to settle for what they don't want, or so it seems.

    The last thing I want to do is hurt someone. If I forced myself to date a feminine guy, I'd be tempted to cheat on him with a masculine man and I don't want to do that.

    What if... You don't do the wig and just use your normal self? I mean, I don't look all the masculine anyway so if I just use my current stuff, I could find a "straight curious" guy?
     
  11. bicomplicated

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    Well a straight currious guy still wouldn't want to be deceived. Some straight guys do use dating websites to experiment with guys. But they will advertise this (but usually will not advertise their face) You have to be honest about who you are or the reaction will be bad. Ever watch Catfish? You should. Also, straight guys who are experiencing won't stay with you. I have a gay friend who talked straight guys into experimenting with him cause he had a thing for straight guys. In the end, it just caused him to be miserable. Also, I don't think too highly of dating websites in general if you are looking for a relationship and not a booty call. I mean some are on the sites for more than that, but a lot aren't. I've used them in the past, and they have been an utter waste of my time. You'll find the right guy for you eventually. Straight guys aren't the answer. As a bisexual women, I know I have the ability to date straight men, lesbian women, bi men and bi women but straight women?NEVER. Straight women are off the table for me. Even if they are experimenting, the will never date me. I would never put myself through that.
     
  12. edy

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    I used to do that when I was like 12 or so.... and turns out, one of my victims wanted to meed me anyways
     
  13. Bolt35

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    it's possible that a masc. guy can still be attracted to a fem. guy, i've seen a few couples here and there that live up to that. i think that as long as the guy doesn't try to hard to prove himself to the whole world, it can happen. just my two cent.
     
  14. BloodFlame

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    I've seen the show Catfish. Yeah, it's dishonest... That's why I suggested not using a disguise and just using the real, non masculine me. But yeah, it probably wouldn't make a difference anyway. I understand what you're saying.
    "Meed" you?

    I just find it hard to believe. I have yet to meet a GAY masculine man who preferred feminine men. I've never seen "No masculine guys" on a profile unless the guy was bisexual and looking for a transsexual or crossdresser. So that alone speaks volumes of the gay masculine guy who, understandable, doesn't want a fem.

    I suppose I could just go for a masculine bisexual man again and try to share him with a woman. Sure, it'd suck but at least it'd be better than nothing.
     
  15. NingyoBroken

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    How many times are you going to post threads with practically the same subject?!

    No one's gonna convince you that everyone has their own god damn taste, and that some masculine men in fact DO like feminine guys.

    If you're just gonna be a pessimist and ignore people's responses, why even bother with posting in the first place? Especially so many threads.

    Goodness, when it comes to men, I am only attracted to feminine ones. But anyone with your attitude is a turn off no matter how pretty they are.

    Confidence (and that does NOT mean masculinity) is sexy.
     
  16. White Knight

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    I am with Ningy on this one.... kinda.

    With your constant bombing of similar threads I am starting to think problem is something more serious than being a feminine gay. This kind of behavior makes people dislike you easily no matter if you are gay, lesbian, hetero or whatever it is.
     
  17. BloodFlame

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    I was genuinely curious about the straight dating site thing. I couldn't find anything on the topic (gay related) so I figured I'd just ask. I pretty much got my answer from LibertyValance that when it comes to that, if you aren't biologically female, the straight guy won't be interested in you.

    I wasn't ignoring anyone. But okay, this will be my last thread about this kind of thing.
    Yeah, maybe there is something wrong with me but nonetheless, this will be the last thread about fem guys from me.
     
  18. Revan

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    This isn't taking a risk. It's lying. What happens when you meet and he finds out you're a dude or say you keep pretending get to sex and he's like, oh you have a dick. Well I think you have danger of being harmed. Be yourself. Don't do something stupid like pretending to be a woman when you're not.
     
  19. CyanChachki

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    While I understand your reason, this isn't a good idea. Number one, you would be catfishing, otherwise lying to the person who would be wasting their time on a straight man who will be thinking that you are female, which is not cool. Number two, whether you think it or not, this guy has feelings and they would be very hurt if they found out the truth. Number 3, you could very well be in a lot of danger. This guy could feel violated and confused for falling for another guy through false pretenses. He could very well track you down and hurt you.

    This would not be a good way to meet masculine men. There are feminine men out there who are in relationships with masculine men, there's no line between that. You just have to get out there and find that guy.
     
  20. scxred

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    The best advice I can give you is to be yourself... when your comfortable in your own skin, you will immediately seem more attractive. You say that fem gay men can't get boyfriends... I disagree. Although feminine men aren't the most popular choice for gay men, there's other factors that come into your attractiveness for e.g. appearance, interests etc. In my opinion, mildly feminine or neutral gay men could possibly attract the biggest range of potential mates because their androgynous traits could appeal to gay, bisexual and bi-curious guys.