This is one thing I'm scared of. My parents are both first generation immigrants from a heavily religious and homophobic country so I'd say most, if not all, of their friends are homophobic. I'm just scared that if I come out, their friends will look at them differently and distance themselves from them. And I'm just scared that they won't want to or won't know how to make new friends.. And then I will be blamed for all of it. Am I just overreacting? Should I still come out to them?
You are certainly not responsible for how your parents friends react to news that has nothing to do with them. Honestly if I had friends who would stop talking to me because my son is gay... which has nothing to do with either my friends or me... then those people are not real friends and not worthy of my friendship.
Nope. Friends of my parents became more supportive and one of them even told my mom that she suspected her son was gay. So in that case, they became more open too. I wouldn't worry about that. That's not your problem.
Well I haven't told my parents friends but I'm lucky that I have supportive parents so I know that if there friends weren't ok with it they would never talk to them again.
Thank you all for your insight. But for me, I most definetly know that there is a slim chance that my parents friends will be supportive of my sexuality if I come out. I mean it can't get any worse than them being first-generation immigrants from a heavily homophobic, religious and African country. Plus I've heard both of them say homophobic things - my mom just said something homophobic yesterday as a matter of fact complaining to her friend about an LGBT book at the daycare she works at. According to her because of that book, the sky is falling smh.
This is one of the reasons why I cannot afford to come to my family. My dad works as a pastor in our church and my mum is a college instructor. There's also cousins, aunts and relatives and for a Filipino, it's pretty important to be close to them and the only thing I can think of is to move to another country so there would be less conflict. I can understand where you are coming from, My dad openly talks about how gay marriage is "destroying" the "traditional" setting and even preaches it at church. Do you know someone who you can talk to about your dilemma?
No, other than maybe a counsellor at school, but I haven't approached them yet. But thanks for looking out for me, though. I don't trust anyone in my family. I haven't even talked to anyone about it. I'm just trying to avoid relying financially on both of my parents. Once I'm providing for myself, that's when I'll think of coming out. Even now I'm in a danger zone because I'm not fully "masqueraded." I haven't even brought home a girlfriend and I just can't stand going to church so I stopped going for a while. But my parents may just dismiss that as I'm focusing on my school or I'm waiting for the right girl or something.
I am in this kind of situation too! The only difference is my dad is a college professor and and my mom is an accountant, tho they are very vocal about them being homophobic. And not to mention my relatives too! Few days ago, my aunts caught me watching the scene in TWD where Aaron and Eric kissed. They confronted me and kept blabbering about how bad and how immoral being gay is. Then they said that I would be a disgrace to our family name if they knew I am gay. They said that because our family name is quite known in the area and thought that people (especially their friends) would look down on us just because I am gay.
That's what I'm thinking of as well. I still live with them so once I can support myself, I'm off to go and probably come out after. About the girlfriend, I would always make them think that I'm not interested with girls or even boys and just wear a pokerface whenever topics like this come around. I always make them sure that I'm focused on getting a job first. ---------- Post added 5th Mar 2015 at 08:13 AM ---------- Oh wow, I saw that episode too and this is why I always watch it online and by myself Hopefully your family would come around but if not, we're here for you<3
