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Do you find it easier to come out to your friends or family first?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Skaros, Mar 7, 2015.

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  1. Skaros

    Skaros
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    I just got to thinking how many people seem to either come out to friends before their family, and vise versa. Do you think it's better to come out to your friends or your family first? Or do you know someone else you can turn to?



    For me, I think it's better to come out to my friends first. My family is Greek Orthodox and they tend to be a bit homophobic. I'm sure they probably already know my sexual orientation, but they act as if I'm straight and they seem to swing back and fourth on the issue of gay rights. My step dad is against gay marriage and talks negatively about his daughter (my step sister is a lesbian). My mom said she would accept me (because she probably already knows), but she definitely isn't fond of the idea.

    I live in a very liberal area, and our school constantly has events sponsored by the GSA for LGBT acceptance. All my friends are fine with my being gay, and even my conservative friends are very open to gay rights. I know a few transgendered and gay/lesbian people, so I know that my friends group is a safer environment than that of my home.
     
    #1 Skaros, Mar 7, 2015
  2. guitar

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    Friends: you have less to lose if they take it badly.
     
    #2 guitar, Mar 7, 2015
  3. ChameleonSoul

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    Friends are much easier to come out to in my opinion. You can always make new friends if it doesn't go well but you only have one biological family.
     
    #3 ChameleonSoul, Mar 7, 2015
  4. NingyoBroken

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    Friends of course. Family is often too conservative or just reacts stupidly.
     
    #4 NingyoBroken, Mar 7, 2015
  5. DoubleSoul

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    I found it easier to come out to my family.
     
    #5 DoubleSoul, Mar 7, 2015
  6. timo

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    Friends - definitely. But that might have to do with the fact that me and my parents never really talk(ed) about feelings and stuff.
     
    #6 timo, Mar 7, 2015
  7. ForeverYoung000

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    The first person I came out to was my brother who I am very very very close to. I thought it was easier to tell him because he understands me and I can tell him anything. Afterwards, I told my friend which was in my opinion a bit harder because we were not that close. I only knew her for couple of months during Freshman year.

    Choosing from the pole, I would have to say friends. I came out to 12/13? friends and 1 family member who appreciated me for who I am. There is no way I can tell my family. They are homophobic.
     
    #7 ForeverYoung000, Mar 7, 2015
  8. JackAttack

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    I have only come out to my family but coming out to them felt extremely hard even though they were ok with it. Friends would probably feel easier to come out too as its not the end of the world if you lose them. A lot more rests on your family then friends.
     
    #8 JackAttack, Mar 7, 2015
  9. TENNYSON

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    For me, talking to family about it was easier, but that's because I'm really close to my family and I knew from hearing them talk about LGBT stuff that they wouldn't be homophobic (still, one can never tell how they react when their own son is LGBT). Either way, it's talking to friends that I'm more self-conscious about.
     
    #9 TENNYSON, Mar 7, 2015
  10. Andrew99

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    Coming out to anyone is equally hard IMO.
     
    #10 Andrew99, Mar 7, 2015
  11. Radioactive Bi

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    Family. They all found out first. Fortunately, my family are all awesome. Must be where I get it from.:lol:

    Happy days :slight_smile:
     
    #11 Radioactive Bi, Mar 7, 2015
  12. MotelGuy

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    Friends...The first person I came out to was a female friend, and it was easier to come out to her than my mom a few years later...
     
    #12 MotelGuy, Mar 7, 2015
  13. Burnedcloset

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    I don't have friends. But, I would think friends would be easier to tell. You can weed out the true friends.

    With family...they can't truly be replaced.
     
    #13 Burnedcloset, Mar 7, 2015
  14. robclem21

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    This ^^
     
    #14 robclem21, Mar 8, 2015
  15. randomly me

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    Well there are some friends (the ones that matter) that i know since forever and i would be afraid of loosing them since they are like a family to me
     
    #15 randomly me, Mar 8, 2015
  16. Lyana

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    Friends, because you choose your friends to some extent. I know all the people I consider friends would be fine with it because I don't call homophobic people "friends". Those I've told simply don't care.
    My parents, though, are not big fans of anything LGBT and to them, it does matter. Telling my mom was hard, and she wasn't thrilled, and that hurt.
     
    #16 Lyana, Mar 8, 2015
  17. africanFlower

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    Friends. firstly because i would probably care less of the reaction they would give..shud they have remained my friends then awesome! but should they have left then cools. family on the other hand- i dnt plan on telling at all, except my sister cause she is cool!
     
    #17 africanFlower, Mar 8, 2015
  18. Lauraunnie

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    For me I think it's easier to come out to friends first, because in my case I talk to my friends about pretty much anything, and not so much to my parents. :grin:

    And my friends are wonderful, and pretty much all of them probably would be very supportive, and again - not sure about my parents. Actually, not sure about my dad. My mom is really accepting, at least it seems like it. :grin: But I haven't spoken to dad about anything regarding to the LGBT community, so I don't know is he accepting or not.

    So definitely friends. And if some friends don't take it too well it's much easier to deal with because you can always get new friends and let the ones go that don't take it too well. Not so much with parents because obviously you can't replace them. :grin:
     
    #18 Lauraunnie, Mar 8, 2015
  19. Quem

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    Besides EC, I came out first to my brother, as we get along very well. =) Then I came out via FB to one friend and later to my parents. =) Then I came out to everyone on FB by announcing my relationship with Kabuki. :icon_bigg
     
    #19 Quem, Mar 8, 2015
  20. Psaurus918

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    Friends by far....although I have a couple friends I'll probably never tell but they are friends I'm sure I'll never see again once I move
     
    #20 Psaurus918, Mar 8, 2015
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