This was inspired by another thread. I didn't really participate in it because honestly the whole thing was pretty one sided and there really wasn't much to contribute aside from joining the overwhelming voices against cheating. What I did do however was think as I read the responses... "What exactly constitutes cheating to me?" I'm not really the type to be phased by a girlfriend sleeping with another girl, though I know most people are, I'm just not bothered by it. I think what would bother me though is someone doing something with the intent of harming me in some way... Though I suppose that's not cheating specifically, but I kind of feel like intentionally doing something you know or think would upset your loved one then that I consider hurtful... So yeah... I'm not bothered by the act so much as the intent... What about you? What kind of thing do you consider cheating? I'm sure there are more things than sleeping with someone else that could be considered cheating to some people that might not be to others?
Sleeping, kissing or doing anything with other person, feeling the need to hide it from your partner. If you need to hide it, it is probably bad.
Cheating is doing something you know you shouldn't or have to hide from your other half. No matter if it is sexual or not. If you are doing something you know would upset your partner, if you think it is easier to apoligize than asking for permision... you are cheating, in other words betraying trust of another person. If you know when you ask answer will be "NO" then you better off to persue whatever your desire is instead of hurting some person who hopefully you valued/loved at some point in relationship.
Most people don't consider kissing cheating, but I do if it is anything more than a peck. As well as sleeping with someone else or partaking in any sex acts with someone who isn't your partner. However I would rather my partner have mindless sex with someone than fall for someone else.
Sexual and emotional infidelity are examples of cheating for me. The offending party knows what they're doing ahead of time and has to use subterfuge of some kind. As I said yesterday, if I'm your partner have enough decency to talk to me before you dishonor either one of us so we can either resolve the matter or end the relationship. It's that's simple. Coming out late in life, I can honestly say I never cheated on my ex-wife of 25 years, because I loved her and took my vows seriously. I would expect the same in return of any partner. It's really very simple.
Let's see... Having any kind of sex with anyone else. That includes while intoxicated. Sexting. The sort of kiss you wouldn't give a relative. Flirting. I know some people use this as a part of normal conversation, but it still really bugs me. What doesn't bother me are things like hand-holding and cuddling among close friends.
This is the same for me. I wasn't married but might as well have been. We have two kids and have been living together for 6 and a half years. He cheated on me and is straight and in love with me but I never cheated on him or ever considered it. I read on a lot of sites guides about coming out later in life and kept reading that the gay spouse lives a life of secrecy, fear and infidelity. I don't think love has anything to do with cheating, only respect does. I respect the people that I have in my life or they wouldn't be in my life. Hence the reason I have never and would never cheat on anyone. To me, cheating is any act that has romantic or sexual intent. A hug or small kiss with strictly close friends wouldn't be anything but if my partner was having secret phone calls, texts, emails or any other correspondence beyond that that she wouldn't want me to know about... that's cheating. Looking is one thing, acting in any way, shape, or form on an attraction you have for another person who isn't your partner is cheating.
I think people have already covered it pretty well. It wouldn't just be sleeping with someone, but doing anything that you have to hide. Kissing, affectionate touching, even erotically charged conversation lol. I mean, if you're doing that, then you're probably sick of your partner, right? To me, that's cheating.
I guess it has something more to do with breaking the "rules" of what you and your partner have established since there are people out there who wouldn't mind an open relationship and others would prefer a strict monogamous relationship.
My personal terms (which are admittably flexible) are doing 'things' behind my back/not being open about 'things' (this does not include flirting, cuddling, or kissing) or diliberately doing something you know I wouldn't approve of with or without consulting me (but moreso without). By 'things' I mean both emotional and physical.
Cheating is universally defined as breaking the rules in a relationship. Whatever the rules are will vary. For some It's sex, kissing, emotional affairs, and even porn and masturbation. Even for those that are okay with sex in open relationships, there are still limits. "You can sleep with girls not guys", "You can have oral not intercourse", "You can do anything as long as you tell me each time" Depends on the couple.
To me, cheating is doing anything intimate with another person that you wouldn't want your partner doing with another person. Yes, even something as simple as holding hands. I met my boyfriend in 2009. We didn't become a couple until 2012. We've moved in together in 2013. We've been together ever since.
