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Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexuality?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Reptillian, Mar 13, 2015.

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  1. Reptillian

    Reptillian
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    At what point does a person should be considered a heterosexual or a homosexual with a exception to the rule or at what point does it become a case of bisexuality? Hell, what even counts as bisexuality? Well, let's consider 3 different scenarios.

    Please ignore possible implication of conflicting romantic attraction complication, and get to the scenarios.

    Scenario #1 - You are a 80 years old woman, and in all your entire life, you were only sexually attracted to men, and there's absolutely no evidence of interest toward the same sex/gender, but however you found yourself in a situation were you are sexually attracted to the same sex. Should you consider yourself a bisexual or just a heterosexual with a exception?

    Scenario #2 - You are a 40 years old man, and in your entire life, you were attracted to the same sex, but at this point in life, your sexual orientation is slowly changing. As time pass, you are no longer capable of being sexually attracted to the same sex and you are now interested into the opposite sex and you remain interested into the opposite sex for the rest of your life. You see that you are no longer interested into the same sex and it'll remain that way for the rest of your life, and you weren't coerced to be interested into the opposite sex. Should you consider yourself a heterosexual or a bisexual when you're 80 years old?

    Scenario #3 - You are a 32 years old, and you identify as a homosexual woman because you are attracted to the physique of a woman as a whole. However, when it comes to men, you are not attracted to him at all, but you are one of those kind that enjoys sex for the sexual stimulation rather than gender involved, and you do engage into sex with them even if you're not attracted. Should you consider yourself a bisexual or a homosexual?

    Your thoughts?
     
    #1 Reptillian, Mar 13, 2015
  2. QueerTransEnby

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    Not to sound like Smokey the Bear, but only YOU can determine your sexuality. No one else can do it for you.
     
    #2 QueerTransEnby, Mar 13, 2015
  3. Reptillian

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    I know that's the usual response, but it'd be interesting to see how would other respond if they were put into those scenarios and why they would identify that way. That would be very interesting to see.
     
    #3 Reptillian, Mar 13, 2015
  4. Chiroptera

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    You should choose the label that you feel more confortable with, if you want to label yourself.
     
    #4 Chiroptera, Mar 13, 2015
  5. Michael

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    All 3 cases seem bisexual to me.
     
    #5 Michael, Mar 13, 2015
  6. Josh11

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    Your orientation really is what you choose to label yourself as, and what feels best for you. Technically, I am bi-romantic and homosexual, for example, but I choose to call myself gay in most circumstances. Again, you are what feels best for you.
     
    #6 Josh11, Mar 13, 2015
  7. ForNarnia

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    I tend to think once is an exception, more than one is bisexual. But really, it depends on which label you think suits you best.
    As for the examples, it depends on the person. Only you can define your sexuality, so I dunno :/
     
    #7 ForNarnia, Mar 13, 2015
  8. biAnnika

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    Well *of course* you decide your identity. But sexual orientation must surely exist apart from identity. I mean, if Anne digs chicks, and is repulsed by guys, but is not comfortable identifying as a lesbian because of society's judgments, she may certainly identify as straight.

    But damn it, she's a lesbian, who identifies as straight.

    So is this question about when *are* you bisexual? Or when should you *decide* you're bisexual? Or even when should you *come out as* bisexual?

    If it's about when *are* you bisexual, then the answer is simply that you are bisexual if you experience sexual attraction (limiting it to this by OP's request) to people of both sexes. Done. Full stop.

    Grey areas? Hmmm, let's say you thought you might be bisexual, tried same-sex, and decided you didn't like it. That to me is hetero but with an exception. You thought you might be attracted, but you weren't. Another would be "all evidence points to monosexual, but then there's a single same-sex person who really does it for you." That's a bit grey. But if you dig them physically...not just in love with their spirit, and *want* but are repulsed by/not turned on by a physical relationship with them...then I'd say you're bisexual.

    So in Scenario #1, who knows what she was before, but if she still has attraction to men, then she is now bisexual.

    In Scenario #2, he was gay, he is now bisexual, and (it sounds like) he'll be straight in the future.

    Scenario #3 is the most confusing, because it's hard to get a real lock on what she's actually into. I suppose if she's not into guys, then she's not bisexual, even if she sleeps with them regardless. You say she's attracted to the physique of a woman...what does that mean, exactly? Does she crave sex with a woman? If so, then that's sexual attraction...so if in addition, she's not sexually attracted to men, then I'd say she's a lesbian. But the wording you use makes it impossible to be sure.

    If the question is when *should* you decide you're bisexual, then I'm down with the notion of "you decide". Same with coming out, with the exception that I think if you know you're bisexual, then you should come out to a person before getting into a committed relationship with them.
     
    #8 biAnnika, Mar 13, 2015
  9. Linthras

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    This ^^^^
    But technically, at any time you could be attracted to more than one gender you're bi.
    Even if you only date, sleep with, etc one gender.
     
    #9 Linthras, Mar 13, 2015
  10. NingyoBroken

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    I think we should stop trying to categorise and put labels on sexuality. You like who you like, that's it.
     
    #10 NingyoBroken, Mar 13, 2015
  11. MonsterAnarchy

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    "you are who you choose to be"

    --Dean McCoppin
     
    #11 MonsterAnarchy, Mar 13, 2015
  12. An Gentleman

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    I'd consider someone who predominantly likes the same sex but has exceptions bi, but leaning homosexual(same for heterosexuals, but replace same with opposite). The problem with that is that qualifiers like "a few" and "some" are somewhat subjective.

    In most cases, you should just go with what they call themselves. It doesn't really matter unless they're spewing a bunch of tumblr malarkey and making up unnecessary "sexualities" that are really just preferences and should be auxiliary terms (if they even need to be mentioned at all).
     
    #12 An Gentleman, Mar 13, 2015
  13. Lipstick Leuger

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    When you say you are.

    That is all.
     
    #13 Lipstick Leuger, Mar 13, 2015
  14. Linthras

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    In essence I agree. Doesn't mean we cannot explain how labels are defined commonly though.
     
    #14 Linthras, Mar 13, 2015
  15. ellyy

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    Wait, are people saying that you are what you choose to be when it comes to sexuality? I don't know if you meant that literally but a person who's bisexual and calls themselves "straight" is still bisexual regardless of what they say..

    You shouldn't don't go with the label that feels the most comfortable to you, you should go with the one that is true (if there is such a label for you at all/if you want to label yourself). That's my opinion.

    As for the three examples you listed, I don't really have an opinion on them and I don't care much to begin with. Personally, if I had the potential to be attracted to both guys and girls, that's when I would call myself bisexual.
     
    #15 ellyy, Mar 13, 2015
  16. PurpleGrey

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    For the sake of simplicity, the examples could be considered queer. But, as with any situation, just gotta take their word for it.
     
    #16 PurpleGrey, Mar 14, 2015
  17. Lawrence

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    Re: Bisexuality question, when is a exception an exception, and when is it bisexualit

    This reminds me of the rugby player that 'woke up gay' following a stroke. I've tried to imagine myself as those 3 people. Although I would behave differently from them, I've decided what I'd call myself if I did exactly what they did. I think, in these cases, the most recent information, is most relevant.

    Scenario #1 - Bisexual

    Scenario #2 - Heterosexual

    Scenario #3 - Lesbian or homoflexible
     
    #17 Lawrence, Mar 14, 2015
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