This is more just a "YAY ME" moment so I'm not really looking for romantic advice necessarily, just more a need to tell someone because it has been a big couple of days for me. That is why I put this in the chit chat section. I suffer from severe anxiety so going out of my comfort zone isn't common which makes both of these really great strides in my anxiety disorder. So I have finally begun to dip my toes into the dating scene. I went out for Sunday night karaoke at a local gay friendly bar. I didn't really meet anyone but since I can actually sing and plan to go back regularly, I think the regulars will warm up to me. That's good because through this I'm also just looking for friends who are like minded. Even though I didn't meet anyone, I still allowed myself to be obvious when checking out women. It used to be that I would avoid eye contact but sit so that I was able to directly view them and then come up with a reason to look in that general direction so no one would know I was looking. Not anymore, that girl is gone! So there is that... and that's not even really what I'm excited about. I shouldn't be excited, but I am and I can't help myself. I decided to put up some online dating profiles back when I first came out to myself about 4 months ago. It was more about just being able to look at women and read their profiles and kinda allow myself to be that way in private. I never had any intention of writing to anyone. So then this woman wrote to me and I didn't reply right away. I kinda just let it sit there. Then today I decided to change my mind and wrote to her. I'm so glad that I did. She was logging on just after I wrote to her to delete her profile because no one was writing to her (not many wrote to me, either). So we talked on the phone for a while and intellectually and romantically we are very compatible. Actually, our star signs are extremely compatible, too (Virgo and Cancer). She was going to come meet me today but things didn't go as planned so we made plans to meet up on Friday night and if that goes well we also have plans for karaoke on Sunday. Not sure how I managed to make two dates, but I'm really excited. Do you think it's bad that I'm so excited and I haven't even met this woman yet? She has a fabulous mind and is able to keep up with me which is both unusual and one of the issues I had with my (male) ex because he has a traumatic brain injury. I'm someone who needs intellectual stimulation so it's a big thing with me. Anyway... so yay me! I have my first date with a woman this Friday. Didn't think it was actually going to happen!
YAY ! Way to go girl ! First thing first, props for being able to step out of your comfort zone ! And well, when you think about it a little bit, would it have been one day later you wouldn't have met. I don't believe in destiny... But well, that's pretty close haha Good luck for your date \o/
Yay~ Congratulation! It is great that you found someone who simulate you both intellectually and romantically. That is not easy to find. As for your question: it is not bad to be excited, but always be careful with people you have not met, no matter who they are. People are very different online and offline. Final comment, while I won't fault you for feeling disappointed with your ex for not able to engage with you intellectually, I kind of feel bad for him with his brain injury. :< You deserve this woman though, so have fun on the date! But be careful!
It's painful for my ex to deal with his brain injury. He forgets a lot of things and just isn't that deep about things because of it. He wishes he could be that way. It must be even harder for him since every member of his family is both highly intelligent and very successful career-wise and he struggles just to keep his family going. He tries to do what he can to support his family so I always try to tell him that is better then a million dollars because it comes from love. Anyway, yeah. We will meet in a public place the first time. There isn't too much to do around where I live so sitting and talking is likely going to be the first thing we do. I don't think conversation will be an issue though so that date will have a lot less pressure then future dates. Likely the issue will come in later dates because we are both reserved with first sexual advances. I need emotional attachment to have sex and I'm pretty sure she does as well and we both have issues with body image as we are both bigger girls. In a lot of ways this will be a good thing for me as I haven't experienced sex with someone I am sexually attracted to and need someone who will take those things really slow. Although, I'm pretty sure that each date is going to be sublimely more torturous then the one before it if we click in person as much as we have over the phone.
Yahh, congratulations. Isn't it great to feel wanted. You've got this, just don't get completely head over heels on the first date.
Congrats on putting yourself out there and what luck to find a match seemingly like that... ó_ò Hope the dates go (really) well because you really do seem excited about it all. Best of luck with this! :king:
Hah! I get attached and crush easily but require a bit more time for more than that. But she seems just as excited about it as I do because she keeps repeating that she can't wait to meet me.
It takes an incredible amount of courage and vulnerability to be willing to put yourself out there and take those risks. It's really awesome that you are taking those first steps. I think you'll find it gets a little bit less intimidating each step of the way
Okay so both of us decided we didn't want to wait until Friday and she came over. Mind you we had texted a lot and my ex was around so I was okay. Wow. That's all I can say. The chemestry was amazing and it was actually kinda a twilight zone moment for me because of how much her life and interests mirrored my own. She's nearly every quality I would list. We are still going to take it slow as both of us need a strong bond to go further right now. There was a kiss and wow. But yeah, seeing her again on Sunday night. You know, I tried and I think it might be too late. Now I am a little freaked but really it's in a good way.
I'm right there with you... didn't think I'd be falling in love this quick after separating and coming out... Remember that she's a person, subject to have flaws, and not nearly as perfect as you feel. I know, real hard to do in the heady "falling in love" stage. Guilty as charged. Have fun, be safe.
She has flaws. Not everything is going to be perfect and both of us have a lot of work to do to get our relationship where we want it but I guess the point is we both just know at this point that we do want to pursue a relationship together. We both believe in putting it all out there so there are no secrets so we both know where the other stands on the important things to us. It's going to be great getting to know her. I can already tell you that she causes my body to produce oxytocin because the only time I ever felt this kind of drugged happiness was immediately after the birth of my children. That little love hormone seems to go into overdrive when she is around or when I talk to her on the phone and hear her voice.
