Do you think 'fake it till you make it' really works?

I don't think it's a good idea and I don't think works either. Faking is never an answer, no matter how good you think you are at it.

If you feel you are lacking in some way, it's far better to address the issue and work at it, rather than maintaining a pretence or faking it. Be honest, be authentic and people will love and respect you more, but fake it and you will eventually be found out. You really don't want to put yourself in that position as the climb down can be excruciating.

 

Have you heard of 'self-fulfilling prophecy'? For me, these are related. Now when I learned about self-fulfilling prophecy we were talking about negative conditioning. For example; verbally abusing someone but saying they're ugly and eventually they believe it. "Fake it until you make it" is the positive response to this, I think. That person that's been made to believe they're ugly can reverse the conditioning by 'faking' belief in the opposite, that they're beautiful, and can eventually make that a true belief.

It can also be dangerous though. You probably shouldn't fake being straight or cis for example, not forever at least.

 

I faked being confident, cool etc... for a long time... In the end it didn't help me at all, it will just help you to forget who you really are and make you hate yourself.

If you want to change, you have to do it properly.

 

This kind of thing works in certain contexts. For example, interviews, business meetings, networking. Areas where you want to project a certain image to someone that you're interacting with for a finite amount of time. It is likely less helpful if you tried to use this tactic on someone you wanted to become good friends with or date, because then the relationship is based on a false representation of yourself.

 

I agree with TheStormInside above. I think in certain contexts, as mentioned above it is necessary to 'fake it'- or it is even required to do so: eg. in job interviews.
I've always struggled with this phoney aspect of life: because when you are applying for jobs you are not only required to have certain skills, but somehow show that you see your future tied up with that particular job & it is your 'passion', which let's be honest, in some jobs is complete nonsense- very few people see working in a fast food shop as a 'passion'. It's a game, and you are supposed to know the rules of it and play them.

In other situations I have forced myself to act the opposite of how I have felt: I have felt shy when meeting new class mates as a kid for example, but have forced myself to introduce myself to them- make friends etc. It worked for me to some extent.

 

"Cogito ergo sum" in this case.
So what we think of ourselves can definitely aid a change. It's worth a try.

 

I once met a guy who faked to get pretty much every job he ever had. At some point during the interview he was always asked "you know about X, right?" And he'd just say "Yeah, I do it all the time" despite not knowing what it was at all. Then he'd get hired and google what X was and learning how to do it before he started working there. That's the very definition of "fake it till you make it."

 

I think it totally works as long as you are "pretending" to already be something you genuinely want to be. If you genuinely want to be more confident or social or brave or honest or really whatever, in my experience there are few things more effective than simply acting as if you already are. For me the idea of "faking it until you make it" is about asking yourself the question what would the person I would like to be do in this situation and doing that. It's like practicing to be that person. If you think about it what is practicing the violin? It's pretending you're a violinist. It's also how you become a violinist.

 

In a job interview I was once asked.

Do you know X technology. I replied, no, but I've never let that stop me before. I got the job.

I've interviewed a lot of people over the years, I am pretty good at picking out the people that are faking it. That said I am also very good at picking out the peole that underestimate their skills, which I see more often than not. So be confidant in yourself, but don't fake it.

 

At my job I have to work around people who I have to fake not being the socially awkward individual that I am but I'm pretty sure it doesn't work lol

 

faking confidence is hard because you need confidence to be good at faking.

also bending the truth is less likely to get found out than actual faking.

 

Nope, I don't think it works. Personally I just feel like I'm lying to myself and to others and I hate lying.
I think most people can see through a fake confidence anyway.

 

This, but especially that.

You don't just get handed confidence, you have to advertise or work for it. Once you have it, you can either use that as a foundation for more, or squander that little confidence boost on a temporary feel-good... and then have to fish for more.

When you take a chance, make an attempt, or accomplish something, you'll develop confidence. But you have to keep being confident, or else you waste your efforts. It's one thing to have a lapse of confidence, maybe a doubt here and there, but getting back into the swing of things is essential.

Otherwise, you can fake all you want, you're just deluding yourself. To be confident, you have to act like it to affirm it, and then you stop acting and just become. How you decide to go from here, well, that's up to each and every individual.

To put it simply, you can read a driver's manual all day, every day, and you may be the foremost authority on driving. But until you actually drive, it doesn't mean much. Confidence believed is worthless, if not prepared for use.

 

I know for a fact that this doesn't work with anything! I first heard of it at a christian conference (my first mistake) and I decided to use it to make myself be happy. needless to say it DID NOT work. and then I tried to use it to be attracted to boys...and if you look at my sexual orientation you'll know how well that worked. hahahah

 

I've always hated this phrase, and can not even begin to say precisely how much I despise it.

 

Fake it till you make it worked for me. It really depends on the type of person you are and what you are faking. I faked confidence to cover up my insecure side and I eventually became less insecure. But I am a logically minded person so by persuading myself by this method it helped me over time. Sure I am still insecure, but I do not let it show bc it is only a small part of me. I also faked being straight since I was 5 so... that ended up in a big mess. I convinced myself pretty well of it until 7th grade and after that the whole 'faking it' fell apart and was more harmful than if I as true to myself.

 

I think it depends on how you think of the phrase "fake it 'til you make it."

Personally, I view it as something that works in correct doses and for the right things. If you're trying to use it to be a person that you're not, then it's going to blow up in your face and you're going to suffer. If you absolute abhor country music, then listening to it all the time to fit in with some group isn't going to work. It's just not something that you enjoy, and faking it won't make any difference.

However, faking in the sense that you're trying to convince yourself to feel a certain way about a situation can be effective. Say, you're a really negative person, but you try and force yourself to look on the bright side of a situation even if you don't really believe what you're telling yourself quite yet. Another example, is when I'm nervous about a presentation or debate, I always fake confidence and work to convince myself that what I'm doing is exciting and fun, and it usually helps. I have that extra energy, but I'm putting it towards better use for the situation.

However, I don't think in the latter paragraph that I'd call that "faking it," because I can see the negative connotation that the phrase has. You kind of aren't faking anything, but instead you're just adjusting your perspective.

 

Faking confidence is kind of hard to do. I do believe in that quote but I think confidence is just something you have to have already or it's just awkward-- not to say you can't fake confidence because I'm sure a lot of people do but I personally find it to be a personal trait like for exmaple, being shy. How can someone fake being shy? It can be done but it feels awkward for the person and the people watching as well lol

 

Yes.