Can one really be selfless ?

I think a lot of people help others because they feel morally obliged to.

However I, being quite selfish, am probably the wrong person to provide answers to this.

 

I don't think the question is relevant. I help my friends out whenever I can, and while I occasionally do things for goodness' sake, I do almost always expect something in return; an exchange of favours maybe, a beer, food — even more time spent together.
I don't think it's impossible to do things without expecting something in return — I just don't think it's wrong to have that expectation.

Then again I have an egocentric view on life.

 

I think one can be if they want to be.

 

I don't believe in humans being altruistic. We have free will and our actions are based upon our desires, whether they be predatory or mutually reciprocal. We do things that make us feel most satisfied. When we chose to give up our life to save another, that is nonetheless a decision we made and acted upon. Thus, we were satisfied with that action because it's the one we chose after weighing the costs at that moment.

 

I think someone that's truly selfless (what we would call selfless)
Isn't really selfless.they just find more satisfaction in the happiness of others than in their own.

---------- Post added 23rd Mar 2015 at 09:27 PM ----------

So yes one can be selfless if the "selflessness" feeds your own desires

 

Doesn't matter the intention, as long we do something good, the world will be a slightly better place

 

I agree with you, Aeolia, and have actually had very interesting conversations with friends about this. I think everyone is selfish, and everything we do is selfish. But that doesn't mean it's wrong, or that we should stop having faith in humanity. The fact is, some of us choose to do good. And that's awesome.

 

Ah you got me. xD

 

Yeah I mean nice people do nice things because that's what satisfies them, so if you're being cynical about it then everything is done selfishly and everyone is selfish.

The trouble with that is that the concept of selfishness and selflessness becomes obsolete and nobody any longer sees being nice as a virtue, because they're only doing it for selfish reasons right. Now there is less reward for doing nice things because nobody thinks better of you for it.. and people are now less likely to do nice things

I think that if someone gets off on helping others and being a decent person then they should be applauded and their behaviour should be encouraged not dismissed as self serving by miserable (and selfish in the classic sense of the word) cynics

 

Absolutely.

First, selflessness is not the idea of committing actions that cannot be gratifying upon reflection. Selflessness is the act of putting the wishes and well-being of others before our own. How we feel about the event afterward is irrelevant. In fact, the inability to fathom selflessness is a textbook sign of a behavior or narcissistic disorder.

For example:

Someone that one of us can help is about to commit suicide; however, those situations can drag out and require one to sacrifice a significant amount of time and energy.

It is perfectly reasonable that one might debate whether they want to get themselves into that situation, especially those who don't have prior experience with dealing with these types of situations. The feelings of moral obligation that one might feel when doubting whether they wish to sacrifice something of their own for the sake of others is completely normal; however, the idea that our primary reason for choosing to act would be to calm our conscious rather than working out of genuine concern and empathy is a sign of narcissism. There is a dramatic difference between the thought processes of someone whose reaction to suicide is not wanting to feel guilty if prevention is possible rather than a genuine hope that a life will not be needlessly lost.

All in all, selflessness is hardly a matter of lacking a conscious or empathy. It is a matter of putting concern for another before concern for ourselves. Feeling unable to think of one case in which you have, or would consider, acting for the sake of others without considering the ways in which you would benefit socially or psychologically is simply not healthy to be frank. You can feel good after committing a selfless act as long as the original motivation behind acting was not about how good you will feel afterward or how admirable you might appear to others. People commit selfless acts everyday. Simply because some might choose not to doesn't mean that they are impossible.

Side note: I am clearly not saying that anyone who takes the opposing stance is a narcissist. If anything, I am critiquing the way in which selflessness is being defined in this thread.

 

I know a person who I would call selfless. Problem with her is that she is selfless because she views herself as worthless and that everybody else is more important than her.

 

No

 

Yes. There are selfless people. The thing is there are not a lot of them. At least the genuine kinds. That is why those who are truly selfless are usually considered either moral role models or insane.

 

Yes, but I don't think that means everyone can be selfless. Some people certainly can though.

 

Yes, and frankly I think most people are in small ways, some in large ways.

 

I believe that you get something back by being kind even if it's just a thanks. That's what I at least expect

 

"We rise by lifting others." - Robert Ingersoll​

It doesn't matter if we expect something back or not, I believe we gain something from doing good, we grow. I feel like there are people in this world whose mission is to help others, take care of them, protect. I think it's rare, but everything is possible.