I was reading ThisIsLuka's post here and it really broke my heart how he got disowned and kicked out because he came out to his parents. By the way, ThisIsLuka, if you read this, I hope you know that I have you in my thoughts. I wish you the best and I hope your situation improves (*hug*). Afterwards, I was thinking about the fact that if anyone ever came up to me asking me whether they should come out to their parents or gaurdians, I would tell them that even if their parents seem accepting, they shouldn't ever come out until they are financially stable because- who knows- people can change their minds. And a parent who seems like an LGBT ally one day, could do a 180 another day. I mean what happens if your parents convert to an anti-gay religion or an anti-gay denomination of a religion and they refused to be reasoned with and you're still living under their roof? I mean that's a recipe for disaster if you're out to them. Sorry if I'm getting others worried or I seem kinda paranoid, but that thought just came to me. Is it a bad thought? Is it bad advice to give?
That's bad advice because living in the closet isn't always healthy. Plenty of people come out and there parents are fine with it. That isn't always the case though you're right on that. But if there parents aren't very religious and are accepting of gay people and drop hints that they know they're lgbt they should feel comfortable to be out regardless if they're out on they're own or living at home. I would honestly not tell other people that I'm sorry but I don't think that's good advice.
I don't think it's bad advice, because that's sitting on a 'better safe than sorry' scenario. You can't really know for sure how people will react and, as you say, they could totally flip that upon knowing you are. Look at how many people have the 'I'm fine with gay people, but not if they are my own kids' mentality? They sit there with their fake acceptance mask on, which could serve to fool their child into believing they are in a safe environment and then, boom, they come out and are either homeless or screwed even more mentally. What I think is bad advice is to try to talk someone into coming out just because their parents 'don't seem so bad'. Unless they are going out to Pride Parades and are very vocal about lgbt rights and how they don't understand how other parents could be so hostile to their (lgbt) kids, in which case it's a safe bet you're in an accepting environment, for some it just isn't work the risk. I would suggest trying to locate some support though, even if only online, in the meantime if you are prepared to weather it out, so it can help keep your sanity.
It isn't inherently bad advice; for some, it's a sad reality that their apparently neutral parents turned against them when they came out. However, do not encourage people to waste years of openness if it isn't necessary for their material, and therefore emotional, well being. Caution is good when the reaction could be deeply damaging. But too many find being in the closet so harmful that encouraging them to remain there could be a terrible idea, especially if their parents won't actually betray them and there is no gain to be had out of it. TLDR: It's not that bad, just don't try to universalise it.
I agree - I don't think that's necessarily bad advice. It's very pragmatic and well reasoned. However it depends on the situation. Many people know how their parents feel about LGBT people before coming out. It's always important to ask that and then take that info into account. Most kids have picked up on hints over the years. I would give that advice if someone wanted to come out to their parents, but they knew their parents weren't accepting of LGBT people. As Andrew99 mentioned, living closeted can be an unhealthy thing and it's healthiest to live honestly.
