Are gay men all...?

[Peter]

It seems that the popular media believes that gay men are all obsessed with promiscuous sex, continuous partying, golden showers, under-age boys, pornography, drag queens, leather bondage... (did I miss some?). Somehow, I don't feel that I fit these images. Yes, I would probably enjoy some of these things one day, but, mainly I would rather have a hug and a snuggle, a little tenderness...
What do you guys on EC think? Where do you feel you belong? Should we consider lobbying people who promote these views of homosexuality, or just let them be and enjoy?

[ProfessorLepus]

The media itself is obsessed with sex and violence. It's what keeps people tuned. And when you throw in the word "gay", it's hard not to incorporate promiscuous sex, continuous partying, golden showers, under-age boys, pornography, drag queens, and leather bondage. You'll notice that many of those are present in sexual preference-agnostic TV shows as well.

The media is not a public service, it's a multi-billion dollar industry. They put out a product that people love, and that is sex and violence in all of our favorite shows.

[Jerr]

Nonsense! I mean I'm only about 4 out of the 5 things you mentioned....


or not...



I dunno, I guess homogays are easier to target for this. It is more then just homogays though. Heteros are all about the fornication.

I reckon it's probably true, to some extent.

[Fiorino]

Nope. I don't think most of us are.
But that wouldn't be interesting-"Normal gays",
now would it? So the crazy ones get all the
attention, hence stereotype.

[killthedirector]

everyone has a vice.
the most perverted and obscured ones are compiled into a stereotype.


and thb.
i know some guys like that, who love all of the above.
except golden showers, perhaps.

[Gumtree]

The media feeds off signifcant symbols and events - that's how it works.

The media protrays homosexuals in this sense because too anyone with an ignorant eye that's how they're seen in reality.

Also, to have a homosexual character portray the same ethics, interests and ideals as a hetero character would defeat the purpose of making the character gay in the first place - the only difference would be the sex/intimate scenes; which to be frank don't attract many viewers.

[Lexington]

Yes. Every stereotype is 100% true.

Lex

[Derek the Wolf]

Originally Posted by Lexington

Yes. Every stereotype is 100% true.

Lex

To give a more serious attitude to the thread, no, not all said stereotypes are true. HOWEVER, I do find an increased prevalence of "odd" sexual behavior because of the fact that the gay community is a more accepting bunch of people. Since people are more free to do what they like, they don't feel the need to fall into the "norm."
I hate societal norms. They stifle the mind and the soul.

[ProfessorLepus]

I suspect that there is proportionally just as much "odd" sexual behavior in the straight community. You're just looking at the really open types. Hell, they're gay and everyone knows it, why not spill the beans on all the weird crap you do in bed as well?

[kh23172]

I've said before in several of my posts that the stereotypes that you said are usually 95% true for most gay guys. As much as the guys on EC say that they aren't, which I do believe because we seem to be a select group, there is still a whole world out there of gay guys. I mean.. the United States is visualized so much throughout the world that it generates countless stereotypes. One of those is in fact the stereotype of gay guys who want "permiscuous sex", no relationship, lots of one night stands, and have aids because they have so much sex. I mean.. as cynical and sad as it may sound for me to say, I REALLY do believe this. Most of the guys that I've met and talked to, in real-life, have 90% of the time turned out to be this way. I personally believe in morality and a conscious belief of things, and I prefer to wait to have sex until I have a firm relationship.

Although, I do think that because gay guys are generally so "alone" and somewhat depressed, they lunge into any available relationship, and since they are generally seeking love, tenderness, and someone to be with they are more prone to express themselves quickly in having sex.

I also REALLY think that the media contributes to a lot of the "flaws" that exist in any stereotyped group. I know that a lot of gay guys are not, frankly, sluts or whores, but how much is "a lot"? I'm pretty convinced that at least 90%+ of gay guys are this way, and its sad. Although I'm proud of myself for coming out and being comfortable with myself as gay, I'm definately not proud of the fact that I AM gay. I don't like being fenced with these "types" of people. As much as people will hate on me for being so blunt and cynical.. I have to say that I'm very serious and am being very honest.

Ugh.. that's all I can say for now.

[Paul_UK]

The media etc like to latch on to any stereotype and portray it as if everyone is like that. Although some may be, most probably are not. The problem is that many gay people are not that visible and obvious, we are just ordinary people who happen to be gay, and many people don't realise we are gay. A minority are more visibly gay so people assume that they are typical and representative of all gay people. But they aren't, more likely they are towards one end of the spectrum.

Don't believe everything you read in the press or see on TV. They are more interested in sales and viewer numbers than in accurate impartial reporting. Minority groups are an easy target, one which many readers and viewers know very little about, so believe what they are told.

Neither I or any of my gay friends are into any of the things listed in the first post here, as far as I know. OK, I don't know what they do in the bedroom, but even excluding that the majority of the stereotypes do not apply to them. Of course I cannot assume that a small group of people in one city is representative of the wider gay community.

Looking on gay hook-up websites you would think that most gay guys just want sex with anyone. Then looking on gay community type sites you get the opposite view.

So I think the best way to look at it is to assume that maybe some fit the stereotype but that many more don't. It's impossible to put figures on it. But we are all individuals with our own likes and dislikes, our own characters and opinions etc. Assuming that we all fit the stereotypes is assuming we have no minds of our own.

Originally Posted by Peter

but, mainly I would rather have a hug and a snuggle, a little tenderness...

Me too.

[Jeimuzu]

I'm into a lot of things in porn. In real life, I'm into about 5% of it. I just want a good guy.

[Paul_UK]

Originally Posted by Jeimuzu

I just want a good guy.

Me too!

[No One]

i think we should lobby them because most gay me aren't like that some yes but not most

[Wander]

Isn't it true that all straight men are obsessed with college partying, rap music, muscle cars, wild rape/snuff porn, and pedophilia? I mean, those are the ones we see in the media most often, so it must mean that those people represent the entire group, right?

One thing that offends me the most is when people assume I'm not gay because I don't wear tight pink clothes and flap my wrists around. Please. I don't have to be a bitch to like men.

[littledinosaurs]

Originally Posted by Wander

I don't have to be a bitch to like men.

hahahhahahahhhahahahahhaahahahhahahahahah

[acorn7]

We recently got a survey from Psychology students to fill out about "homosexuals". In the section Agree/Disagree, there were a bunch of those stereotypes and I basically just checked "Disagree" on almost all of them. For me, it's just complete generalization.

However, my gay friend beside me said "Agree" on "Homosexuals are more likely to have multiple partners and be promiscuous" (or something like that...). I guess it's a matter of opinion. :/

[Janvier]

Stereotypes aren't invented you know.
Of course not EVERYONE is like that but I've met quite a few like that and a few super-pervs too..
The part about promiscuous sex, young guys and heavy partying are the most common, very common in my experience with the gay lifestyle.
I'm sure straight people have just as much as we do but sex is so much easier for gay guys. Ask any bi guy, he'll tell you
Men are too easy.

Originally Posted by Jeimuzu

I'm into a lot of things in porn. In real life, I'm into about 5% of it. I just want a good guy.

Unbelievably true for me as well.
I don't feel the need to do any of it. But I do understand where the media are coming from. They form their stereotypes from the loudest bunch and then amplify them.
e.g. Say you were a prefect or a senior student helping out junior classes, would you pay attention to the loud and boisterous kids. I was a one of the senior students and I paid attention to the louder kids, because you just don't hear the other more marginalised group. It's almost the same for the media.

Yes I see myself as lonely, but I don't feel the need to go off and have promiscuis sex. I would much prefer something long lasting and more gratifying.