1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Is sexual fluidity that common?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by sporn, Mar 28, 2015.

  1. sporn

    sporn Guest

    I keep hearing about it online and stuff. Is it actually that common or do people just exaggerate? I'm just scared that I'll turn bi or straight one day. Since I'm a girl I'm extra scared.
     
  2. biAnnika

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,839
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Northeastern US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Fluid is not a switch.

    Fluid runs smoothly.

    There is nothing to fear: you will not just turn bi or straight one day. Yes, sexual fluidity is terribly common. But IF yours starts to change (especially if you are pretty firmly lesbian-identified, as it seems you might be now), you should have plenty of lead-in. Knowing nothing more about your experience, it's hard to say more. But there's no reason to fear.
     
  3. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    It's pretty common yes, but being rigid exists as well and we deserve every bit of support. I'm not sure if you're a lesbian (I assumed based on your thread), but if anyone tells you that you will be fluid, tell them to go fuck themselves. As lesbians we are constantly forced and pressured to 'make room' for men, while few tell gay guys are told to open their minds up to women. If you DO like a man naturally, there's nothing to be ashamed of, BUT you are not OBLIGATED to, and NOBODY has the right to predict your future for you.
     
  4. NingyoBroken

    NingyoBroken Guest

    I think it's less common than the LGBT community insists it is. In fact, a lot of them are very hypocritical, practically saying people who only like one gender don't exist. Which is just like saying bisexuals/pansexuals or non-binaries don't exist.
     
  5. RainDreamer

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2012
    Messages:
    1,323
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't think it works the way you think it works. It is not going to be suddenly one day you find sex with guys irresistible and sex with girls is suddenly gross. It will be a gradual change in your way of thinking and how you experience the world. If it comes naturally to you, you won't fear it, because it is just a part of you that evolve that way.
     
  6. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    ^^^ omg this

    The LGBT community is very homophobic these days, I would agree.
     
  7. sporn

    sporn Guest

    I'm mostly scared that I like guys or I'm starting to like guys and I don't know it.
     
  8. C P

    C P
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2013
    Messages:
    1,826
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Traversing Weyard
    As Falling and Ningyo have both pointed out, there are also plenty of multisexuals out there who have this crazy belief that you can't only be into one gender(that 'everyone is a little bi' nonsense needs to die in a fire just as much as bi-erasure).

    Anything that may turn up, whether you end up noticing men as well or not, is already there in you, so please don't think you have to buy into the pressure if you don't feel it already.

    Mind if I ask why you find the potential idea scary though?
     
  9. TENNYSON

    TENNYSON Guest

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2015
    Messages:
    1,024
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Connecticut
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I agree.

    I don't like hearing "everyone is bisexual". It isn't true. And people shouldn't doubt monosexuals.
     
  10. NingyoBroken

    NingyoBroken Guest

    More like heterophobic...
     
  11. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    Well they're both. In my experience the 'everyone is bi' thing is only aimed at lesbians and nobody else.
     
  12. sporn

    sporn Guest

    I agree. I never hear people telling gay men to be more open minded and give women a try. Or not to label themselves.
     
  13. C P

    C P
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2013
    Messages:
    1,826
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Traversing Weyard
    Have to really disagree here. It may be a bit more...open when it comes to pressure on women(could just be regional?) but to say that gay guys aren't pressured to be with women couldn't be further from the truth.
     
  14. 0Marionette0

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2015
    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Actually that's not true at all, I've been told that plenty of times, and I'm male. The "everyone is bi" thing is aimed at both genders equally in my opinion and experience.
     
  15. Michael

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2014
    Messages:
    2,602
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    That you "turn" bi or straight doesn't mean you have to buy all the bullshit that comes with it, or fit into a "straight" mold or "bi" mold. You like who you like, and you have the right (regardless of your orientation) to decide with whom you'll spend your time.

    You can't judge somebody because of his gender. Not all girls are nice, not all boys are jerks. It depends.

    As far as I know sexual orientation is not contagious, or something you have control over. Also there is nothing shameful about "turning" one way or another.

    And I dislike the word "turning" : You usually discover stuff about yourself, period. You can try to deny and repress it, but mother nature will win at the end. I quit fighting it long ago, and I feel much better now.
     
  16. Reptillian

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2012
    Messages:
    602
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    And there's transitional sexual orientation where it's really a switch that's not a choice. My heterosexuality died around 15.5-16 years old and after about 4 to 5 years, I am still asexual after it died.

    As for those who think I was confused, well, they can believe what they want because I did my time trying to support that explanation just to see that I find that the confusion explanation does not explain that I have genuinely felt sexual attraction, and why it never appeared after it died slowly a long while ago.
     
  17. NingyoBroken

    NingyoBroken Guest

    Nope. I've heard stories of gay men almost being harassed by women...
     
  18. Kenaria

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2014
    Messages:
    239
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Georgia
    I think if you're worried about "turning" into a different sexuality, you're internally struggling with the fact that you might actually feel something for the opposite sex. My advice is to just love whoever you want to love, for their personalities instead of genitals.
     
  19. Reptillian

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2012
    Messages:
    602
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Or brain changes. Not that one would have any control over that kind of brain change.
     
  20. Austin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2008
    Messages:
    3,172
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    No, it's very very uncommon.