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Being Out to Same-Sex Straight Friends?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Driftr, Mar 29, 2015.

  1. Driftr

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    I've always felt, for obvious reasons, like being out to same-sex straight friends would end up with negative results more than coming out to opposite-sex friends because they'd think that you may find them attractive and try to come on them. And even if they don't say that they feel uncomfortable, things would never be the same and they would never be as close as they were before.

    Has anyone had to deal with this when coming out to a same-sex friend? I just would like to know if things can ever be the same after coming out to a same-sex straight friend. I've been considering coming out to a same-sex straight friend but I just wanted to get an idea of what others have gone through when doing it so I kinda know what to expect.
     
  2. Yosia

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    Most of my same-sex friends are cool about me being pansexual. There was a few who were nervous about me liking them but when I told them not to worry then they eased a bit. The only thing which is different is that before I told this one guy we would joke around and get really close and pretty much kiss infront of people as a laugh but now he is super uncomfortable about doing things like that. However a few of my other same-sex friends aren't and we are still as close as before, if not closer.
     
  3. Boudicca

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    I'm pretty lucky, but I haven't had negative reactions. Most of my friends are girls, and nothing changed when I came out to any of them.
     
  4. MotelGuy

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    I never wanna come out tostraight boys, just females...
     
  5. Fallingdown7

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    Eh, for me I'm more worried about coming out to straight men; It's more likely to end badly in my opinion. Maybe men are just worse in regards to it throughout the globe (to lesbians and gay guys).
     
  6. XenaxGabby

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    No negative reactions so far.
     
  7. guitar

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    No negative reactions to speak of, but it did make things awkward between a friend of mine when I told him I was gay (I already knew he was) because he had feelings for me, and the half-dozen times we tried to hang out since, there was this weird tension.
     
  8. Purp

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    oy, basically 75% of my friends are straight and of the same sex! The vast majority of people who know my orientation are of the latter status! I was really fortunate that they were accepting :slight_smile:
     
  9. SemiCharmedLife

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    I've never had a problem at all. Even before I was out, I don't think I would have been friends with someone who would have a problem being around gay people. Open mindedness is something I value in a friendship
     
  10. IsThisAName

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    I haven't had any problems in it personally. My best friend in the whole world is straight and we just so happened to become super close around the same time that I was starting to fully come out. When she found out I was gay she was just kinda like "oh I didn't know that!" and then everything went on like normal. I have several very close straight female friends (including her) who I talk to about my relationship often and despite being straight they have all acted as if it was no big deal to them, because it shouldn't be. :slight_smile:
    Honestly coming out is scary in your head but for me I found that once I was comfortable doing it, the response that I got was amazing and all of the worst case scenarios that I had played out in my head were wrong. I have never once had a straight same sex friend get weirded with me about me being gay.
     
  11. Driftr

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    Well, *faceplant* lool. I guess I kinda got all paranoid not thinking of the possibility that there are much more accepting people out there than I thought.

    But thanks, to all of you, for sharing your experiences. I will still wait a bit before coming out though. I just feel like I would like to make some new friends in case this one blows over. I don't even have gay friends...I should get working on that lool.
     
  12. LiquidSwords

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    Tbh I worried about the same thing but there was really no need, as long as you don't give your friends reason to think you like them then they shouldn't worry about it. I'd say I actually felt closer to my straight guy friends (well, everyone I've told) after coming out to them. You'll be fine!!
     
  13. Aeolia

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    I came out as bi in high school and even though they were making fun of it in the beginning it they just didn't mind afterwhile.

    I think that only two straight guys know who I am and that I'm gay (one in Belgium the other one in the US). The one in the US is quite open about it and don't mind gay people since he knows lot of them already and the one in Belgium don't mind either and told me that would I have been a girl he would totally date me xD
     
  14. OGS

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    I've never had the problem you describe. If anything it's been the reverse, guys seem to take it as a kind of affront that I don't find them attractive (nothing awful, just a sort of vague disappointment). Generally speaking in my experience straight guys just don't try hard enough--and they tend not to float my boat, and, hey, everyone likes to feel attractive.:lol:
     
  15. anniesims

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    I sometimes think about that but then think if they really are going to worry about me coming on to them or finding them attractive after I tell them then they're idiots. lol.
     
  16. SwimScotty

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    The one boy to whom I'm out does not seem to have a problem with it. When I first came out to him, I was afraid that he would ditch me since he was rather homophobic. I came out to him on the last day of the school year, and by the time school started up again, he had already forgotten. Things really haven't changed much between us. This year I told him I do have feelings for him, and he's been okay with that, too. He even came up to me and gave me two huge hugs at Senior Circle last weekend and it wasn't weird at all.

    It really depends on the person and your relationship with him/her. If you have a strong relationship, then something as simple as you being gay should not have a negative effect on it.
     
  17. MyLittleWorld

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    I am out to my close friends only, I trusted them, no negative reactions. They said they felt 'honored' that I came out to them, it's nice when someone trustes you with such a personal thing.
     
  18. Lexington

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    I had one co-worker stop talking to me when he found out I was gay because he thought that meant I ws checking him out all the time. Here's the thing - I didn't notice for over a month. Because our paths didn't cross that much, and I was too busy living my kick-ass life to notice. (He eventually came around.) Everybody else was cool with it, and why wouldn't they be? I chose them as friends for a reason. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  19. Weregild

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    If I try to confess anything to them it'll be a disaster. But I'll come out one day.
     
  20. TheStormInside

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    I was worried about this a bit before I came out to my friends, too. I think I underestimated my friends' maturity and understanding because none of them has indicated anything of the sort. I was particularly worried about one of them because I *have* had a crush on her in the past and worried she might puzzle that out, but it doesn't seem like she has, and either way absolutely nothing has changed between us.