So, I have always had it in my mind that I'm going to adopt two kids. Recently, a lot of people I know have had pretty negative views of this. Things like:- You won't love them as much as a biological child They won't love you as much as a biological child You're not their real mother Yeah, but I just want a child who's mine, you know? And things like that. I know that I would love an adopted child just the same as a biological one, but a lot of people I know don't share this opinion. So, what do you guys think? (Assuming that for same sex couples, there are options such as surrogate mothers etc, so the baby would be biologically yours) Would you adopt? Can you love an adopted child as much as a biological one?
Personally I want to adopt and I'd probably love it more than a biological one. Can't stand the thought of pregnancy and if I had biological kids, I'd just grow up resenting them. Happier for everyone this way. I HATE when people make comments as you describe. Plenty of cishetero people are 100% infertile too, and these comments shame them.
When I imagine myself ten years from now, of course there is a kid... And I can't imagine myself not loving this kid as much as I'd love a biological one... I mean... It ain't called unconditional love for nothing you know...
I only plan on adopting, I don't care if people disagree, or about spreading my genetic info, those kids need parents. And just like FallingDown I'd probably resent any biological kids, except because I wouldn't be the pregnant one. Though, Even if I was cis I'd adopt.
The love between an adopted child and the parent is as strong as with "normal"familys.besides every child deserves parents. however if you don't adopt a newborn there are chances that the kids come from a fucked up background.Also while the love is the same the kid could think that you don't love it as much or that the biological parents didn't want it. This can make parenting harder in a psychological way so you should be aware of it.
I have a biological son, but I also want to adopt. I know I'd love the adopted kid equally, but I knew I wanted at least one biological kid. It's difficult to explain, but it's not really love. More like a drive to a leave a genetic marker.
I would love an adopted kid just as much as a biological child. A lot of the women in my family have infertility issues and I am genuinely scared I won't be able to have a child biologically but I know I can always adopt. However I don't think I could adopt a child that already had parents that were alive, that didn't want them or weren't mature enough at the time. It would break my heart if they ever went to find their "real parents" and I was replaced.
I believe I would grow to love an adopted child as much as my own. However, I do think there is a primitive evolutionary desire to have your own genetic children that exists in everyone to some degree. So, I don't think you can blame someone for preferring to have children of their own. Some of those comments are really rudely worded though, but they may be genuine concerns. For men I don't think having biological children is as important. I think a lot of women feel like they would have a greater connection with a child they carried, and basically whose body comes from there own. My mom mentions this "connection" with her children sometimes and not even in terms of adoption. I hate to say but I'd probably prefer having my own children. However, I think I would love and treat both equally and may adopt too (I feel my genes may be kinda fucked up lol). We will see.
I would adopt a child in serious need... Because when I found out I was adopted because I was in serious condition and needed a family, I never felt resentment towards my parents. I was very grateful that they took me in and loved me as if I were their own biological child. Take a child that really needs it... Not that any kids up for adoption don't need it, but I think you know what I mean. So maybe one from the orphanages in poverty. They will not resent you. Being an adoptee has made me realize the bond shared between biological mothers and their children... It is severed for those children who are given up early in life. But despite this, I am still all for adoption. It provides a better life the majority of the time than what the child would have living with the biological parents.
Honestly I wouldn't care, I cannot describe they joy I would have to be married with 2 kids, when I do feel shit it's the thought that one day it will happen that does pick me up. The thought of it just makes me feel 'complete'. I really can't describe how much of my heart wants children.
