Okay.. I know this going to sound shallow but I have to get this out there to hear some advice on this... i'm a slim built guy who is into jock or muscular guys. It's always been that way and I never seem to be able to shake it off. I've tried changing my attraction but to no avail. However, due to obvious reasons, it's usually unrequited. I do workout myself but the kicker is I like being slim bordering on athletic (as I continue to workout). I don't want to become big like the guys I'm attracted to. But anyway, I've noticed that I tend to attract a lot of overweight men who I just don't find physically appealing. Again, I hate that but I can't lie about this... But I recently started thinking, what if I tried to get one of these guys to workout and get muscular? I mean, I workout myself so I could be like a free personal trainer offering food advice and simple exercise regimen. I just don't know if this would be a good idea or even how to go about this. I know that this sounds shallow, I'm not blind to it. But for the sake of the question, I need feedback on this... P.S: When I say "muscular", I don't mean something like this... But more like this It's mainly because I personally think that the first example is very rare to achieve and honestly, I personally don't like the shredded like. I'm much more into the bulky=fat=muscle look. And yes, I have thought about the situation of if the guy gets in shape, he'll try to find someone else but remember, I'm talking about guys who express interest in me because I'm of smaller stature. Anyway, if you have any advice, thoughts, etc. Maybe even experiences like this, I would like to hear them.
BloodFlame, I've seen a lot of posts from you about trying to change yourself to fit others' desires, and now trying to change others to fit your desires. I think you may be happier if you try to connect with guys emotionally rather than just physically looking for an instant attraction. As you get to know someone you may develop a spark you weren't expecting. You seem to be limiting yourself a bit by looking for these ideal body standards that many people in the real world just aren't going to fulfill. Trying to change a potential mate is also a bad idea. Who would want to be loved for who you train them to be rather than for who they are? Also, I doubt you'll find that people will change so easily.
Believe me, I've tried. The first time I met up with a guy I met online (I was 18), was a pretty overweight guy (he lied about his photo). Still, I did try to look past it and try to find something to zone in on that I could like but I just didn't feel it.. The next time, I was around 20 or 21, I can't remember but he was a little overweight himself (not as big as the first guy) and it still irked me. However, I did like talking to him a lot, we had quite a few things in common but when it came to meet, I just wasn't attracted to the outer. I realize I'm shallow. I don't hide it. I workout myself and after seeing how simple it can be when you have a routine, it makes get turned off from fat even more. I was just suggesting this because when I do attract a guy, he tends to be overweight or even obese and it just got me to thinking. But yeah, I guess it'd be wrong to try to change someone who didn't want to change.
