is it easier to talk about if some one else asks or brings it up?

Absolutely agree. I find it hard to talk about myself because I feel like even my close friends don't really want to hear about me feelings or problems etc. If someone asks me outright though it's much easier to talk about because you know they are interested as they've instigated the conversation.

 

I think I'm the opposite
If my friends try to ask about my feelings, I will say nothing.

 

In my head, i always want someone to ask me about stuff. Then when they finally do, I always just respond with "I'm fine", and then afterwards think, "Why did i say that? I'm clearly not". But i won't openly go up to someone and express my feelings, or let my emotions out. I am normally someone who asks and listens to other people, rather than talk about my own problems.

 

It's a lot easier for me to speak about things if I'm asked, too. For one, I know they are interested and ready to hear about the disaster that is my emotional landscape. Secondly it kind of helps me to focus and know where specifically to start. When it comes to LGBT subjects, as well, I still have a very hard time bringing it up, due to embarrassment, I suppose. So if someone asks me about it it's a little easier because they've "broken the ice" so to speak.

 

6 of one, half dozen of the other? I don't like broaching the topic (whether asked or not), but once I get going, I am equally ok either way.

 

I guess I sort of feel self indulgent just to blurt out my problems without prompt. I definitely find it easier to talk about stuff when I'm asked about it.

 

Im confused

 

You're going to get a dozen different answers on this as everyone is different. Personally, I just don't talk about my feelings at all, it's sort of half because there's some not very nice things in there and I'm pretty good at just shutting them away. But when I do remember them or they're brought up I do get pretty upset - which is something I hate happening, I really, really dislike people ever seeing that side of me. And the other half because I've had the closest of close friends betray my trust and I just feel that the less people know about me the less they can hurt me.

 

I'm almost always available to talk about anything... actually I prefer to be the one to start a conversation, but most of the time no one cares enough...

 

Definitely agree. I find it difficult to talk about touchy feely things because I try to portray quite a tough, no-nonsense image of myself to the world in order to be taken seriously. But if someone opens up to me first I find it a lot easier to respond in kind.

 

I wouldn't say I'm comfortable yet, AfraidandAlone, but I am more comfortable than I once was. A few weeks ago or so I messaged a friend asking if I could talk to her about things on my mind, and when we met up to talk I told her "I'm not sure how to start talking about stuff." She replied "You just talk" in a lighthearted way and that helped me to get going. Maybe you could express that you feel a little awkward saying these things so your friend can help you to start broaching the subject yourself. I'm learning it's something you just have to push yourself to do, and the more often you do it the easier it gets.

 

It's easier for me if someone else brings it up, as long as it's not done too awkwardly.

 

Oh... well if you only came out a few days ago, it will probably take some time to get used to it! It took me awhile, too. These are things you've kept deep inside for a long time, and never spoke aloud to anyone, you know? For now you can just text if you feel better that way, or you could try texting her to tell her you want to talk, then try having her bring it up with you in person. Maybe even texting while you are together in the same room could help you break the ice a bit?

 

When I came out, I was hoping people would bring up the subject and ask me questions. I would have very much preferred that, and I had specifically told them that they can ask me anything that comes to mind at all. I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't want to be rude either, and it's not exactly a topic that just pops up in conversation every day. Most people were too afraid to ask anyway, because they didn't really know how to bring it up. Our conversations became awkward because of that, and it would probably have ruined the friendship eventually. I started telling people who obviously had a lot of questions but were afraid to offend, that we need to talk about it.

I usually ask to talk about it in a day or two, so they have time to organize their questions and I can come up with my own way of leading the conversation if they still have trouble with it. Setting a date is also not quite as scary as talking about things right away, and when the date comes you can't really back out because it's already been decided on. Doing this has been very therapeutic for me. I can now easily discuss the topic without feeling awkward about it, and that has really helped put my friends and family at ease about bringing it up too. I would recommend trying something like this with your friend if it sounds like something for you. It has strengthened my friendships and I've learned how to talk about other personal topics, too, without feeling awkward.

Good luck! You'll become better at it with time! (*hug*)

ETA:
TheStormInside posted while I was writing, but she brought up an excellent point. I actually used Skype (text chat) to talk about it with a few friends because I found that to be easier. Talking about it in person can be really hard at first! Give yourself time to get used to verbalizing things.