Being an Only Child

I'm not an only child but my sister is 20 years older than me. When I was born my sister was already living 3 hours away at college and only came home for maybe 2 weeks in the summer.

I absolutely hated being a only child growing up and still do, when I was a kid my parents fought a TON (my dad is an alcoholic) and I would sit in my room alone listening to them and had no one to turn to really. I had friends at school but couldn't really invite them over because I never knew what would set my dad off and I was embarrassed.

Luckily I'm not really selfish and I have no problem sharing but a lot of the time my friends will get mad that I don't want to hang out or that I don't talk much when hanging out with groups because I don't feel comfortable...

 

Well I am the middle child and have older sister and a younger sister. It probably won't help but I have a horrible relationship with both of them and it so uncomfortable to the point where my head will explode. My dad had it worse though with five sisters and today there are like two he never even speaks too.

My sisters are selfish, vindictive, manipulative and ignorant people. Everything I am and anything i do is selfish to them. For example gay people are not a problem with them but me being gay and making myself happy makes them extremely uncomfortable. They play games to what they want and have their way and try to push me out of things. In all honestly the day they are not in my life will be a blessing to me even if that means when my parents die. So you may of had problems from being a only child but on the other hand having siblings is not what it is cracked up to be. It was that way for my dad and it is for me.

 

I'm half and half. I like being an only child in that I have never had to share my mom with anyone. I also like that I've always had my own space and privacy. I'm very glad I never had any younger siblings as they would annoy me but sometimes I wish I had an older sibling. I often think about when my mom dies, I will have no one to reminisce with about her. Those memories will be mine to carry alone and it's kind of sad.

 

I have a younger sister, who is close to 3 years apart from me, and we are not very close. To be honest, I sometimes forget I even have a sister, because of the lack of closeness between us.

I'm sure, in a more positive upbringing, having siblings does have perks. But for me, it was simply a minor obstacle to deal with and overcome, as sad as that is to admit. My sister and I didn't much like one another, would use one another as scapegoats, but the real kicker is... when we had a common goal or enemy, we could work together, very well and very effectively actually, but the moment we accomplished whatever it was we needed to... it was back to being indifferent rivals.

I suppose, in a way, this toughened me up. Many people have a hard time imagining hurting or going against their family, which is fine, that means you have some kind of strong foundation there. Me, however, family has more to prove to me than a stranger, and while this may make me emotionally distant, it allows me to better operate through life, without any distractions. That sounds a tad deranged, but it is rather wasteful to be concerned with those who, quite simply, are not concerned with you.

 

I was raised as an only child. When I was older I did get 3 half-brothers, but we were raised apart and I didn't even meet any of them until I was 18 at which point they were at the baby/toddler stage so I didn't really have the 'sibling experience' as such. When I was 6 years old I briefly allowed myself to wonder what it would be like, because my mother was pregnant at the time. But to be honest even from when I was told this news I sort of knew it wouldn't happen due to my father's violent tendencies (she miscarried).

Whilst I would say that I can relate to the idea of not wanting to mingle and hating parties, I very much doubt that in my case being an only child had much to do with that. I knew other kids at school who were only children and some of them seemed to be real people persons.

On the subject of selfishness: I observed through my younger brothers that being a sibling does in no way guarantee an ability to share! The two eldest ones had less than a year between them and consequently would often receive duplicates of the exact same toy so they had one each of their own. Regardless, they still managed to get into daily tooth-and-nail fights about who got to play with a certain toy. The toy that one of them was playing with could be exactly the same in every way, but the very fact they have it made it somehow 'better' and caused the other to want it just for the sake of it. One of my brothers even had a habit of -ahem- 'marking his territory' on any toy he didn't want anyone else to touch. Now I can't say I was brilliant at sharing as a child myself, but at least I didn't have cause to go that far! :lol:

 

I don't know how I would get by if I were an only child. My little sister assists me with school assignments and stuff; without her I don't know how I'd get stuff done.

 

I'm the youngest in my family with one sister, four years older than me. I never liked being the youngest child, I constantly felt smaller and weaker than everyone around me; I always felt like I was in a race that, no matter how hard I tried, I could never win. And though I'm starting to get over that now that I'm not living at home and starting to develop a sense of independence, I think that did cause me to have some self-esteem issues in my late teens.

Also, like the stereotypical younger sibling, I was a spoiled, whiny, selfish brat. I look back at how I acted when I was a kid and I cringe. I was the type of kid who'd yell at their parents in the middle of the store for not buying them what they wanted. I really wish someone had slapped me in the face and told me to stop being the spoiled little shit I was.

On the other hand, since my sister had already gone through everything I went through growing up, I was able to go to her for advice and help if I needed it. And my sister often forced me to get up and do stuff I probably would never have done otherwise, and though I didn't like how bossy she was at the time, I have to admit, I did find some of my favorite hobbies because of this.

Overall, I don't think there is a best option when it comes to birth order. Every position has its pros and cons and, frankly, whenever I see discussions about which is the best/worst, it seems like most (but not all) just argue that their position as the oldest/middle/youngest/only/whatever is the worst. Yeah, we might be unhappy with whatever position we ended up with, but we'd probably be just as unhappy with any other, so I don't think it's worth complaining about, though I do enjoy hearing other people's thoughts/experiences with regards to growing up in whatever position they were in.

 

I can relate to Aton of what you've said only child can be protective over certain things. I get ya (*hug*)

 

i have an older brother we fought a lot as kids but if any one tried to hurt me he always had my back. part of me has always wanted a sister though.

 

China's only children less trusting, avoid risk, study finds - CNN.com something like this.

 

I'm an only child. My parents often left me alone because they were busy with work. I was pretty responsible except that one time I set fire to the carpet.

Sometimes I think it would've been cool to have siblings. But it's a miracle that I'm here. My mother dislikes children. She made an exception for me. My parents have fought less since I was born.

I usually don't trust people with my pens/pencils because of experiences at high school. I would lend pens/pencils and students then claimed my pens/pencils belonged to them.

 

I wish I was an only child. My older sister is not supportive, protective or caring. I am deeply envious of siblings that are close. My sister cut me out of her wedding because I was too big for the bridesmaids dress. Sometimes siblings aren't all they are cracked up to be.

 

I am pretty anti social, but only because I don't care to mingle with the type of people we have around here.

I don't understand and never understood why sharing was so important, and I put myself before everyone else.


I do not attribute this to being an only child. It's just the way I am. And, the last part, putting yourself before others, should be something a lot more people should do.

 

I grew up as an only child until I was 10, when my mother got pregnant with twins and 3 years later gave birth to another kid. I didn't mind it much in the beginning, since I had always felt lonely and thought I could use some company besides my favorite room objects and the people from my favorite books. I never had many friends and cut ties frequently. But I was obviously kind of left out by my parents since they needed to take care of my siblings. So in the end I was still alone, but with not much space in my room. And gradually my siblings started to destroy my cherished belongings - because that's what children do - and I felt not only lonely, but stripped of my individuality. Well, I love my siblings, but I can't help but wonder what it would be like if they never existed.