Helping people

Everyone's entitled to their own opinion, to me those traits seem fairly important though, at least they're things I try to work towards being better at. Nobody should go overboard with them though. Do what you think's right.

 

If every single human on this planet helped the human next to them.........there wouldn't be anyone left to help.



Although I think helping people is a good thing to do, I also believe you need to show me proof that you deserve my help.

I help people who will appreciate it. I do not care if I get paid back or not, I do not expect it. What I do expect is a real "thank you".

I stopped helping people years ago, because everybody nowadays is brought up to believe you DESERVE help from everybody else, for absolutely NO reason.

I got used and abused because I used to be one of these "help everybody" people. Then I "woke up" one day and realized how abused I was being, and I put a stop to it.

Now, I need proof that you are worthy of my help and assistance, otherwise you are on your own. I will NOT waste my time on ungrateful, nasty, self-absorbed jerks who think the whole world owes them everything.

 

I think most people know my views on this.

 

I try to set a good example for people(even though I fail sometimes) I help someone who I see needs it whenever possible, the main thing I do is tutor people, or simply just help them on homework. Not major things, but MOST people seem to appreciate it.

---------- Post added 4th Apr 2015 at 07:37 PM ----------

And I believe you should help someone whenever you can, someday you might need that help yourself. I don't believe in Karma, but if people see you helping others they're more likely to think of you better, and you reap the benefits.

 

Mm...

You help people who will help you,
You spend money on what makes you money,
and you give what you want.

Surround yourself with respectful, loving, passionate people, and you'll be amazed at how much of an improvement life becomes. Helping every single person that asks, without knowing their circumstances, is potentially wasted time and energy that could have gone elsewhere. Mooches, individuals that suck money and consumables out of you, are notorious for being a waste of time. Even if they come off as fun.

It is difficult to distinguish between pity and need at times, but that decision must be made, since time is limited. I help folks who I believe, will actually appreciate that gesture of kindness. If they don't, so be it, there is somebody just around the corner who will cherish it.

Screw me over, and that's it. You're on your own.

Or to condense it:

"Rectitude carried to excess hardens into stiffness;
Benevolence indulged beyond measure sinks into weakness."​

 

Most of us here have our basic needs provided for as it is. It's not like helping others in small ways is going to seriously set most people back. If being charitable in some way or another isn't going to adversely affect your quality of living, then it's not unreasonable to expect that you show that compassion. I don't really care if it's used as an ego boost if the charity is effective and the sense of self-worth in the donor isn't going to get in the way of the delivery of assistance.

In any case, I feel the emphasis on kindness above ethics is a bad thing; you can be kind and desperately wrong. Kindness is so personal, so subjective; it can lead to clannish thinking and it isn't necessarily just. To be ethical can be much more cold, but it does mean that you support doing the right thing overall. Being callous to the world and loving to your family isn't a great feat. If you only effectively help those in your own circles while being unethical about others, then I can't say that person is a good person. Say, if you love your family and lavishly donate to your church and a local charity while having horrendous social views that never seem to affect those around you, you are not good. For all the good work that happens at your fingertips, if your unsavoury views combine with others' views in an accumulative, faceless weight that slowly crushes others, then you cannot be a good person. If you contribute to causing harm, nothing will change that apart from responding to that precise issue. Life isn't a balance sheet of good and bad deeds; when you cause harm, your other good deeds do not rectify that harm. Separate actions cannot cancel each other out.

I also have a concern with the idea of the worthiness of recipients of help. Does being a good person make you worthy of more respect? Of course. But being a bad person doesn't mean you aren't worthy of help when it's irrelevant to the manner in which you're bad. A child abuser in poverty must be punished for the abuse and have their poverty alleviated, even if they have no history of charity, care or anything else. But that's because poverty is not a natural state for anyone or something anyone deserves. Compartmentalise the two issues; do not think that letting them rot is a proportionate, relevant or fair response.

TLDR;

1 - Be charitable, as it's unlikely to harm you and almost certain to help others.

2 - Do not consider your good actions to absolve your bad actions when they aren't an attempt to repair the damage you've caused.
3 - Obversely, do not deny others help for their problems simply because they've caused harm in other ways.

Points 2 and 3 are basically just challenging the idea of worth on both the part of the giver and receiver of help.

 

I will go out of my way to help the people I care about. I am actually quite satisfied with that.

That's not to say I don't help strangers, but I get more picky. Like, I know we have a problem with beggars in Sweden who don't really need to beg, so I will only give money to those who have clear disabilities, like a missing leg. Alternatively, I will offer them food and see what they do. Either they get very happy and thank you or they say "Yeah, alright." In some rare cases they will flat out turn you down.

I will never help strangers with situations they have clearly put themselves in, like not finding their way way home because they're intoxicated. I will not even stop and call somebody.

 

Personally, I feel great when I've helped someone out who genuinely deserves or needs it.
I don't expect payment, but I do like a cup of tea and a thank you.

However, just be careful when helping out someone - especially financially - as there are many out there who will take advantage of a kind heart.

 

Helping others is certainly a nice thing to do, but one's self worth doesn't depend on it, and you shouldn't always place others' well being over your own.

Things like kindness and generosity are important and very admirable traits to have.

 

you don't have to be nice or kind to anyone still every person has dignity as a human being and should be treated with respect regardless of their actions or opinions.

 

Yes, kindness is important and it doesn't cost much to stop and help someone out a little.

Taking care of your own problems and self-improvement should take priority over convincing others to better themselves or trying to solve their personal problems, though. Everyone benefits from less prejudice, better anger management, and more honesty... and you have much more power to change it in yourself than in others.

I've spent so much time as a young person trying to help other people that I've come to believe that no one is able to help them but themselves in most cases. The most that can be done is provide company, useful information, or insight.

 

I get really depressed, and sometimes, the only thing I can console myself with is the good stuff I've done.
It's nice, when you're in a really bad place and you think 'everyone would be better without me' and then you realise that no, you did something good for someone a while ago, and without you, that never would have happened.

There was a kid on the park being picked on by a huge group of older boys a while back, and I was the only one who dared to stand up for him.
Sure, he was still feeling bad, because of course he was, a group of assholes had decided to make him a target, but at least now, when he looks back on that day, he'll remember that someone cared and tried to help. Because there's nothing worse than looking back and thinking about all the people who stood around and did nothing while people were treating you like that.

In short, yes. Being a good person is important, for everyone involved. Doing good for others makes you feel better, and it makes them feel better too.

 

I think someone who interacts with people and has positive intentions towards everyone is more valuable than somebody else.

Being nice just means not making someone else feel crappy, that doesn't mean you have to bend over backwards for them, it just means everyone to interact with you treat how you wish to be treated.

I for one feel I am a decent member of society because I never intentionally make anyone feel bad, and am always kind to people instantly. If you cross me I can become a major unforgiving douche bag, but I let people show me they are pieces of trash before I treat them like it.

There may be people who contribute to certain aspects of society more than others, who may volunteer, or help out, but they aren't more valuable than somebody who doesn't, as long as both are treating EVERYONE with respect from the start.

I cannot count the amount of douchers I know that do charitable things, but are actually pretty crappy people to begin with. They don't respect everyone, they still look down on others.

Someone that treats everyone, from min wage workers working at McDonalds, to crackheads, to doctors with respect, is far more valuable on this Earth than someone who picks and chooses who gets their respect; regardless of how much value they add to one aspect of society.

The world needs more people who are wholly nice, and not just specifically nice. My heart bleeds for everyone, and I can truly say I wish more people on the planet actually gave a crap about everyone. I'm pretty poor and can't contribute much charity wise, but everyone that interacts with me gets respect instantly. I'm very judgmental of people; a lot have proven to be pretty crappy, but I still feel for everyone.

So though I may not go out and do good for others on my own accord, I can safely say I have never once been mean, rude or inconsiderate to someone who didn't fully deserve it.

Altruism really is selfish at the core, everything is selfish at the core if you want to get philosophical about it, if you do good for others and it makes you feel good, are you not only doing it because of the reward of feeling good? It may be a good thing to do, but ultimately you are doing it for yourself. If you didn't care about others you wouldn't need to do them right, and that to me is just as selfish as needing to do them right.

So ultimately we are just a bunch of selfish ding dongs.

 

Without evil there would be no good. We need a balance in our lives so we can distinguish the good from the bad. Personally I have an intrinsic nature to help people and always try to put others before myself. No matter how selfless we believe we are being, we get something out of helping people and therefore we are no longer selfless.

I believe more people need to help others because the balance isn't right. Also the old adage of "give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime" is imperative. It's important to give help to others so that they in turn can help themselves and also others around them.

 

I personally find it very hard to trust people. But once you've gained my trust, I'll do anything for you. But you screw up? You have to prove yourself again. I've been screwed over too many times for me to just trust people.

 

It's somewhat important. I look out for myself first. Sometimes I'm willing to help, especially if I think the person deserves it. Of course it has pretty selfish reasons because I'm following my personal code. I generally dislike commitments and I'm almost certainly not going to risk my life for anyone.

I find it difficult to understand why anyone would devote their life to helping other people. But it's their choice and I tend to admire their sacrifice to help humanity. In Civilization games, some great people are humanitarians, and they increase happiness within the population, so, yes, I think they're good.

 

I think helping other people is great. Being able to help others and having the time to do so is always admirable for me. I just think that before helping others, it would be best to think of one's self first but not too much to the extent that one is practically to devoting everything to his/her own self. It's enough to give some for ourselves and, if we are willing, give out to others as much as we can.

Also, I don't really believe in altruism. I know that the concept exists and there is actually altruism somewhere, but I just can't accept that it is possible. Experience does not really match well with what altruism is trying to say. If I could truly meet someone who is altruistic through and through, that person would really deserve anything good for his/her whole life.

 

I feel the same as Kilbert about altruism. I think everyone is selfish. And that's okay with me.

I still attach some importance to helping others. I volunteer a couple hours a week for an association that helps socially disadvantaged families and to be honest I love it -- but for selfish reasons, I think. I love feeling useful and feeling like my life has meaning. That said, I probably wouldn't devote my whole life to helping others. I want to have my own life, too. And I don't see myself as a "kind" person.

I admire compassion in other people.