Do others here feel they are meant to be alone?

I feel I am. I don't want to sound lame and all, but I have a very nomadic soul. I can't be in one place at at time and this applies to my interests. Adventure is more attractive to me than stability and I would not want to have a relationship where being with the person is a burden. I'm too nice of a person to waste their time and in consequence my own happiness as well. Life really is a one-shot deal. Also curiosity drives me here because if I find someone great here, there's the chance I may find someone just as great out there who may impart something new to me.I'm the type of person who wouldn't mind leaving off to some strange place and adapt to that culture and meet new people as well as experiences. Move around and disappear depending on how I feel.

 

I use feel that I wanted to be alone, that I wasn't meant to ever be in a relationship but now I feel almost the complete opposite and really want to find someone to settle down with

 

Romantically, yes. But that's also mainly because I want to be and also because nobody really suits my high standards.

 

I use to believe I would live and die alone. Over time though I've come to realize that I mostly needed to take myself less serious and open up to other people of all sorts of different backgrounds and mindsets. People are really great. A book that helped me is "How to Win Friends an Influence People". Its a great book.

 

I handle solitude far better than most people do. I don't feel like I handle emotions normally. For example, the movie "Lost Highway" really messed with my friends but I didn't have any real problem with it. This whole being bi thing hasn't thrown me off as much as it has many people. Other things, hard to put my finger on. I have a hard time noticing when I'm being lied to or flirted with.

I'm not sure I could handle a relationship. These days I'm pretty desperate to try it out, but I really don't know if I could manage.

So to answer your question: I don't think I was meant to be alone, but I don't think I was meant to be with someone either. Much like my sexual preferences, I can go either way.

 

I don't think I'm meant to be alone, or with someone, or in any situation really. I like to think I have some choice in the matter. If I started thinking of it as a certainty: 'this is how it's meant to be', I'd be potentially blinding myself to any chances that might come along later, or making the wrong choices in the pursuit of being with someone.

It just so happens that my personality generally suits solitude better than company for various reasons, and based on the evidence I don't really end up in potential relationship situations anyway. But that's not to say I wouldn't consider it a possibility, or be willing to change aspects of my approach (I can't change ME, but I CAN adapt my outlook) for the right person. I'll always be a loner, but I'm willing to try to be part of a pair. So nothing is set in stone.

 

I don't know for me I just never really can see myself with someone, but that doesn't mean I don't fantasy being with someone. Relationships never were my thing and I always had that fear of getting hurt.

I have always felt independent in a way and I'm not one of those people who fear dying alone. All people die alone in away.

If the one were to come out of no where one day I wouldn't be against it, but I wouldn't be sad if it doesn't happen either.

 

I used to feel like I always needed someone to be happy. I've become much happier and secure with who I am. I love myself. I feel like I just can't be bothered with relationships anymore. I don't want to be tied down. I don't want to have to text someone all the time. It's annoying lol. Nice when you're lonely, but an annoyance when you aren't.

I'm talking to someone really amazing right now. She's not big on relationships either thankfully. She's really great, so we'll see how this goes.

 

When I was a bit younger due to watching my mom go through an abusive relationship with my dad I told myself I never wanted a relationship with anyone. I even saw how my sister cheated on my brother in law which made me even more nervous of trusting someone. I kept telling myself to never let someone that close, but now I am questioning why I wouldn't want to let someone in. Of course, there is the possibility of getting hurt which scares the hell out of me and causes alot of anxiety for me. However, I am trying to get to the point where I believe not everyone will be abusive and or use me. I think there is good in the world however you have to weed out the bad to get to the good which sucks. I have had feelings for people and I do like someone now. However, this someone I believe is stuck in their own world and I have voiced my concern on her being younger than me specifically because she is 20 and I am 24. I must admit though she has more experience than me due to the fact that she has been out longer and well I am a virgin so.

Now I understand this isn't a huge age gap; she said it herself. However, she assumes that she has to play the role of being all wild even though from my understanding she doesn't want that for herself. I also get concerned because she assumes she has to do things instead of admitting that she has a choice in all matters. We come from different worlds as well, she sees me as the good side of the tracks because I don't do dumb things that could potentially hurt me in the future and or my career choice. She in all likes to compare me to her ex's saying I am a goodie good compared to them which is strange because I consider myself to have faults like everyone. She also does the dumb horoscope thing saying that we dont fit well which I believe that horoscope stuff is bogus. She potentially has set it up to fail which is strange because I just realized that. So with this said, she threw the lets be friends card because of her own insecurities I believe based on the fact that she will tell me I wont like her family/friends, and then she will be upset with me if I dont contact her, but its perfectly okay for her to not contact me. Overall, wow just typing this has allowed me to understand that I am not the sole reason why their is conflict it is her and I.

 

It seems like it. I have a hard time getting along with people. I don't get along with most girls because they do boring things like gossip. I don't get along with straight guys because they hit on me.

I guess I'm meant to be friends with gay men. Since I'm closeted gay men would probably think I'm a straight girl who stereotypes gay men if I say I'm looking for a gay male friend.

I don't think any girls want to date a crazy and confused closet case like me. I know guys want to, but that just makes me feel pathetic and gross.

 

LOL the drama thing is true. I hate it as well....

 

I occasionally enjoy drama and gossip, but most of the time it's just draining and boring. I also hate that they'll rarely talk about other stuff.

 

I love my friends and I do want to be with them, it doesn't matter whether I'm meant to be alone or not, fuck what I'm meant to be, if I feel lonely then I swallow my pride and ask for attention.

Otherwise I don't think I'm ready or mature enough for a romantic relationship yet. Will I ever be? I don't know. The idea really doesn't appeal to me at this moment in time ... that's for sure.

 

Hi, it really depends in what situations we can find ourselves. Some people can also choose to be alone maybe they had their heart broken or for other personal reasons.One thing i can say loneliness itself is heartbreaking.I firmly believe theres somebody for everyone to love and to be happy with.

 

Solitude is fun, but it can be either maddening or boring, if you have nobody to bounce an idea or expression off of.

Jokes are funnier when you laugh together. Music is better when you dance together.

But I like only being responsible for me, too. Some folks are a real headache to deal with, so much so, it can make you want to ghost on them.

I've encountered enjoyable individuals, so I know a few are fantastic company.

"That's cute, Kaiser. But where are you going with this?"

We're getting there.​

Blah, blah, blah...​

Spoiler

There are particular activities that are pretty near and dear to me. Inviting a second person is shortening or stopping those activities, unless that second person also likes these things --

And this is absolutely essential.

I like to be be fairly active, I like to make/have money, I like to be laughing, having a good time basically. If you can do one, two, or, Lord help you, all three, then we're compatible.

You can be loyal, and that's great. But if you are always pissed off and frowning, that does me no good. I have enough negativity in my life, and it sucks. I will not take on anymore, if you have no intention on overcoming it. "Working on it" and "doing it" are the only currency that emotionally pays me. None of this "I can't!". I can do that flawlessly, I assure you! LOL.

But it's nice to have somebody backing you up, somebody in your corner. It's pretty uneventful going to your own corner, by yourself, since you know what happens. Having somebody there, that's inspiring.

When I stumble, you better be catching. 'Cause if you don't, who's going to get you next time?

But I have personal demons that I've not quite vanquished yet. I'm very we--

I hate this word.

--ak in totally loving myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm a cocky bitch. I just don't believe I'm beneficial to another human being, in the long run. Letting something linger, simply for the sake of curiosity and without consideration, is pretty cruel.

Until I can overcome this, I am not comfortable becoming remarkably intimate with another human being. Vulnerability is tolerable, it is feeling like anything was wasted... time, energy, and emotion... that I would like to avoid. At the same time, I am always hurting by sabotaging myself.

I cherish my solitude, because I know what hurts me, and how to take care of that. Somebody new, loss of that solitude, is totally new terrain for me. Coming to understand and even genuinely like myself, took time and effort, and years wasted of my life. I have grown accustomed to detesting wastefulness, LOL.

And I'm transgender.

That could be an entire novel--

"Nooo! No more!"

Fine, fine.​

There's quite a bit for me to do, before I even feel remotely up to par. Yes, I have ridiculous standards in some things. By reasonably lowering them, I could alleviate some of the problem. But I like knowing, I'm making an effort. Half-assing is something else I dislike, especially if it's being considered a waste to somebody else.

I pull my weight or pay my debt. Call me 'an asshole', but don't call me 'useless'.

Being alone, I don't have to worry about that. If I'm ever useless to myself, it may be time to reevaluate my life. Still...

Knowing somebody wants you, of their own free will, is one hell of an ego boost. You're loved! Somebody thinks you're amazing enough to roll around with, how is this not awesome?

It's like the other kids picking you in class for something. People recognize, they want you.

As I am now, I believe I am worthless to another in a deeply intimate relationship. But I know, someday, this will no longer be the case. So, I could handle being alone, but would not be opposed, if a prime candidate came along, who was on their A-game, to making the uno into a duo.

This is an improvement from a solid "Yes", that you would have received a few years ago, to this question.

 

They say that there is but, in a person's life, they might not find that other half. The ranks of single people are increasing, not decreasing. I'm laughing, because this idea that there is "someone out there for you" reminds me of kindly elderly ladies who make similar comments while they serve you tea and cookies, or some other hot or cold drink and cookies.

Being that I've remained on my own this far, I sort of think I was destined to remain uncoupled. Never say never, but I'm not exactly banking on it.

 

Well, it's certainly a quiet fear of mine, but is it "fate"? Fate is for poets and playwrights! I know for a fact I would never find love by doing nothing! The current trajectory of my life makes such a thing impossible. There really are few things, if any, I would enjoy more than to be in an intimate relationship. But for this to even be a possibility though, I need to accept and love myself first. Which is, and always will be, a work in progress.

 

Frequently, yes. I feel like I will never get passed the friendship stage, and maybe that's the way it's meant to be.