I'm posting this because I grew up in church and am battling depression regarding reconciling my sexual attraction and my faith. I know everyone has different experiences and beliefs so any input is appreciated. The fear of hell has been so severe it can shut me down at times. However, I've found the more I face my fear, instead of trying to figure things out, I get more peace. I just want to get to a place where I can actually sleep without having a few drinks at bedtime. Anyone else deal with this? What has worked for you? Thanks guys!
I survived it, though it kinda drove me away from my church. However, after awhile I started studying the bible again, and found some interesting things. When you look at the greek/hebrew translations directly, the bible isn't as homophobic as people want it to be. This book: http://www.amazon.com/Homosexianity...&qid=1428720350&sr=1-1&keywords=homosexianity A serious look at the bible dealing with sexuality (did you know that sodom has NOTHING to do with gay sex. Its about xenophobia and rape). I'm rereading it again right now, and its very well written and thoughtful. This book definately brought me alot of peace.
First, Welcome to EC! Secondly, this is obviously a difficult subject because the feelings of fear and guilt that we might experience when discovering ourselves goes deeper than beliefs. It doesn't matter whether people who were raised in religious homes grow up to reject those beliefs; it is not possible to be immerse in religions that reject homosexuality and not internalize some of that. So, there is no shame in having to work through these issues. Achieving acceptance might take time, but it is time that we have to take if we ever intend on being happy. It is important that at some point in our growth as individuals we form beliefs that are truly our own. This doesn't mean that we should reject the beliefs that we are taught by others; it means that we should grow to question all beliefs that we are asked to hold and determine their justification for ourselves. As deadman1204 has described, there are a number of things within the Bible that we know to be fabricated and added on throughout history. Although there is nothing wrong using the Bible to help cement one's values, it is important that its contents are never accepted blindly. If the Bible is firm in all of the claims that it makes, then not a single living person would have a chance at salvation. So, I recommend taking some time to give thought to your beliefs and your perception of God. Humanity is the species that loves to judge and nitpick, but even the most conservative Christians teach that the God that Christianity describes is meant to be anything but that.
Here is an interesting thing to consider. Most all the ethics in Christianity based on the teachings of Paul/Saul, not Jesus. To my knowledge Jesus only left one ethical teaching and that was "Love thy neighbor". That Leviticus 18:22 probably was put in there by some creep, certainly not God. Really a lot of the Bible has been rewritten, edited, interpreted, reinterpreted, rewritten some more, then completely paraphrased. The question really is, are we to follow the teachings of Jesus, or the teachings of Paul. There is more for the Powers that Be to be gained from following Paul's teachings... I know what you are going through. I use to be a Christian myself. In fact the only thing that kept me from suicide was the fear of Hell. (*hug*) . I believe that the historical Jesus would tell you that all are created in God's image and that you should embrace your spirituality alongside your sexuality. They is no conflict.
The Bible needs to be read in context. There are several authors coming onto the scene now which are opening up the discussion. I will NEVER say it is fabricated and actually find that offensive. The key is balance though and understanding the difference in each book's aim as far as the audience. Why was it being written? The Old Testament law was mainly strict due to the fact of very few people surviving at different points along the way to Christ. Disease was also an issue. The reason the Old Testament speaks against men lying with men was to keep the numbers strong within the Jewish people. We need to keep in mind that long term relationships among men was nearly non-existent at the time Hebrew and Greek are different dialects back then as opposed to today. Cultural ties were different. Many scholars point out that certain messages get "lost in translation". If someone reads the KJV 1609 edition, they will see how starkly different it is from Jesus' time and our time. In addition, New Testament Greek has 10 different words for love, we have one. And yes, the sin of Sodom was inhospitality and lust for gang raping an angel of the Lord.
A person can burn out dwelling on the interpretations of the Bible and, sometimes, I recommend that they don't. It can make for an unproductive cycle. Just like the nature/nurture debate for sexual preference and sexual identity, the Bible can be just too controversial. Some parts are too metaphoric and just sound too negative. Who needs ... those parts? It was also written by men, over many years and from different places, edited, and is currently offered in different versions. Some religions prefer one version over the other. How nice ... that only helps the various branches of Christianity split up even more and have more things to argue about. Clearly, I jest. As for the Sodom story, I remember reading where there was a host, either an innkeeper or someone providing housing to travelers, and he offered his daughters to these men. I'm not sure if it was for marriage or for something more immediate, but I'm assuming it was for marriage. At any rate, it said something like 'the men lusted after his sons.' Well, maybe his sons were better looking. Some Middle Eastern guys are hot! Please don't let this stress you out. This has been a source of angst for so many LGBT people who have taken things too literally.
I feel you, there~ I was raised the same way and haven't come out to my family for that reason... but at the same time, Judge not lest ye be judged, was always one of my favorite teachings. I feel like everyone has shortcomings and vices so even if someone says You're a sinner because you're gay!, I just always say, When you point one finger at someone else, three fingers are pointing back. Also, the only sin that cannot be forgiven and therefore results in hell is the sin of forsaking God, so~ even if you or someone else considers homosexuality to be a sin, you don't have to worry about eternal damnation because God is love ^.^ *hugs*
Thank you everyone, I really appreciate all you've pointed out. I think this is going to help me in my journey. A lot to take in and think on. Thanks again guys!
I recommend listening to Russell Brand. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBA6qlHW8po In fact, I largely consider homophobia and love of Christ and belief in the God of the Bible irreconcilible if you actually study Jesus. What were his messages? Love. TOLERANCE. And as Brand says in his book Revolution: the Bible has the Ten Commandments for a reason. I'd say it's largely: "If you're too lazy to read the whole thing, then at least take this in!" It is specific enough to state that you shall not desire to own your neighbor's ox, but says nothing about homosexuality, for Christ's sake! So please don't feel bad over it. God loves you as you are. <3
The Metropolitan Community Church ACCEPT EVERYONE, regardless of sexuality or anything else: http://mccchurch.org/
I can get you some good links if you want. It was after reading two books on the issue that I realized I could be bi and Christian