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How do you feel about the modern gay "culture"? What would you keep/change?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by BigSwole, Apr 15, 2015.

  1. BigSwole

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    Hello, my name is John, this is my first post. Thank you for listening, and hope you have a great night.

    I am a writer, as well as persistently curious about the world and culture around me.

    I was pondering about the current "gay culture" but more importantly about the media's portrayal of it and how that has affected you all personally.
    As this issue I was confronted with as well when I was a teen.
    The need to fit in, or fit in a clique or stereotype. Bear, flamboyant, twink, flamer, butch, dyke, lipstick, fluid, androgyne. In manners of speech, clothes, personality, style, sex, political/religious affliations.
    Some parts I felt acceptance, communally; others I felt I couldn't fit the niche or understand.

    How about yourselves?
    Did meshing into the media-driven "status quo" sit okay with you, like a glove? Or like a round-peg, square hole?
    Are there things you wish the mass media would change?
    How did seeing these stereotypes affect you coming out? Did your idealologies change as you grew older or realize things aren't as they seem?

    I knew they did for me, but I was wondering about yourselves.
    It had been a question I had been pondering for some time, seeing how the LGBT community is portrayed in social/televised media. And how it could affect 'new' people coming out of the closet.

    I apologize for a long post, but am looking forward to constructive conversation and possibly help me overcome any hindrances I may find in myself.

    Thanks. :slight_smile:
     
  2. Jellal

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    The only "problem" I have with "gay culture" are the overly aggressive borderline rapey types, though I'm not sure how much the culture itself is actually to blame for that kind of mentality. I'd like to think it's just a few of the fucked-up individuals that I've met ... the bottom line is no matter your sexual orientation or gender, that is NOT an appealing attitude to approach someone with.
     
  3. Manitoban

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    I for a long time thought I couldn't be gay because at the time I only knew what was portrayed in the media and my one uncle who I really didn't interact with much.
    But deep down I knew I liked guys.

    I eventually went to counseling and understood that I could indeed be the non-sterotypical and still like other guys. For me it wasn't ever so much a fear of rejection by family and friends(though it was part of it) or religious concerns. It was being able to see that "normal" people are also sometimes gay.

    I've now of course realized that I'm not the stereotype but I like guys and that's okay. And I've realized that those more stereotypical gays are perfectly normal to. I've also realized there are guys who are stereotypically "gay acting" but completely straight.

    So showing a greater personality range for gays would be something I would change.

    I would also change this almost pet like scenario that media paints for gay guys being in a group of girls. I've had girls try to do the whole "This is my Gay best friend" As if I was a toy or something. Or wanted to drag me along shopping... as if I suddenly wanted to do that once they learned I was gay.

    Those are my pet peeves about media portrayal.

    And to make it very, very clear. I'm not hating on fem guys, or saying masc. Guys are better in anyway. It's your personality, take it and run with it. Just get annoyed when that is the only personality type portrayed.
     
  4. Rawrzilla

    Rawrzilla Guest

    I don't see homosexuality as a culture. That's what I would change. People's perception that "LGBT" is some sort of monolithic hive-mind because it's easier to shove us all under the same oversimplified umbrella than to see us as individuals, each complex in our own particular ways. It's easier to dehumanize us this way because then they don't have to think of you as a person, you are just '"one of the gays" or simply "the gays;" an extension of a bigger entity, never an entity of your own. What you say is what "the gays say," how you act is "the gay lifestyle," your views are "the gay agenda."

    Yeah, fuck that. My sexuality is only a fraction of my identity, not my single defining feature.
     
    #4 Rawrzilla, Apr 16, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 16, 2015
  5. Aussie792

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    Rawrzilla covered it quite well. I'd also like to add that it's one thing to refuse to be lumped into a shallow image of a group. It's another thing to uphold that negative categorisation by denouncing other queer people as a singular group in order to separate yourself from that image.
     
  6. BigSwole

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    I appreciate the in-depth answers; and even though concise, really made me see other aspects of the whole. I'm grateful everyone. :slight_smile:
     
  7. dano218

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    In all honestly the divisive rhetoric between the gay community and the christian community. While I understand the bigotry that comes from SOME christians there are gay christians out there and they don't deserve to ridiculed for reconciling their beliefs along with pro gay christians. They deserve more respect than that! Calling people jesus freaks and so on is not fair to those who are christian and gay and my pain problem is that division and will fight everyday on here and everywhere to defeat those stereotypes. Having different beliefs is not the problem is the bigotry that can come with it and bigotry is bigotry and never justified.