Hi all, So it's pretty common to outgrow friendships, but lets say that you've outgrown a whole group of friends (however they are unaware of this).In the past I've moved on from friends because I realised they didn't care about me so I simply just deleted their numbers one day and stopped talking to them. However this current group are all nice people who are nice to me and I don't want to be quite so cold and ruthless with them. But I simply don't feel interested in spending time with them anymore because I feel I've outgrown them. The only time we hang out is when we're at a pub drinking so I've always felt like the individual friendships have never really developed past that. I feel as though I'm no longer the person I was when I first met them, but because they know me as that person I have to pretend to still be that person! So as I've gotten some fantastic advice from this forum before I thought I'd pose this question to you all: How the hell do you move on from a group of friends who aren't aware that you've outgrown them, causing as little hurt as possible?? Thanks in advance guys!
This is honestly a difficult question because I'm sort of facing a similar situation I don't know a clear answer towards. The most logical thing I could think of that could help is finding new friends, or just one friend who actually is a real friend, someone who doesn't mind who you are and such. It would be difficult to find such a friend though but it can be done I hope. That's an experience I have yet to understand so I'm not much help on that.
We all fall out of commonality with people we consider friends, at some point in our lives. Whether it be for a month, year, or the rest of our lives. We change, they change, priorities shift... It doesn't hurt to stay friendly with these people, if you find them a reasonable bunch. They may lead you to other people you might become better friends with....you never know. I don't see any harm just "hanging" with them once a week or so....just to get away from other stuff once a week. I have found, in my life, the BEST way to get an answer about your friends/acquaintances, is to ask THEM. You don't have to come right out and ask, unless you feel that more appropriate. You can put it to them more like a "out of the blue" question. Like "Hey, guys, I was just wondering today....what do you do when you think you don't have anything in common with someone anymore"? Let them mull it over and give you THEIR answers. This way, you get information that will help you deal with breaking them off when you feel it is the right time to do so. It also puts the "seed" into their minds that you might not be so interested in hanging with them much anymore. And if one of them happens to ask you why you ask that.......then there is your chance to say whats on your mind. Just a thought..
I think if you can start spending some time with other people and gradually decrease communication with this group of friends it might be easier. Personally, I've nearly lost some friendships because I stopped going to the same school as some people. It wasn't intentional, but just the lack of seeing each other often has changed things. Perhaps get involved with some type of hobby/new group thing that you'd like to do so you can devote your time to that while also meeting some new people. Hope this helps
