Can we talk dating? Is it just me or does almost every gay guy not want a relationship, they just want to do IT? I know I probably sound like a prude, but I when I like someone I just want to see that one person and I want them to only see me. But every guy I meet just wants to hit it and quit it, or just mess around while hes messing around with someone else. Where are all the loyal guys at? Am I being unrealistic and boring, looking for a relationship when Im only twenty one? I mean, I can have fun and flirt and maybe kiss and feel up a guy...but in my heart I know I want a real connection and long talks on the phone and really nice make-out sessions in my room while The Smiths is playing in the background. So, what do you guys think? Am I just being silly? Do you have similar problems?
This is a problem for us straight people, too, at least where I live. We live in a "hook up" culture, and apps like ****** only solidify that perception.
Jesus, tell me about it! I really want to go on a date with a guy/girl and get to know someone but everyone around me and at my university is only interested in how many times and how quickly they can get "laid". If you enjoy it that's fine but I don't want to sleep with someone until I've known them for at least a few months and trust them. I'm going to sound really old but I think courtship and romance are dead.
Hey, at least you were able to accurately label yourself as "bisexual", I'm still not sure. I know I'm very attracted to women, both romantically and sexually, but find myself attracted to more "feminine", slender guys, which confuses me. For guys, hooking up is good, but only if it's with the opposite sex. I want something deeper, more intimate. I'm more romantic than most guys my age, and it's tough to find a girl willing to cuddle and not just...do it.
It's not unrealistic to look for a relationship and romance isn't dead. It's silly to think you're the only person who wants to date.
I think you're all looking in the wrong places. Look for love OUTSIDE of the internet. I know, it's scary, but the internet is for hook ups and sex, not dating. Also get some courage so you can admit to the person you love that you love them. Most people I've dated I have met in person first. No internet, no dating apps. Get out there and find people.
I think it definitely isn't unrealistic. In my experience gay men are some of the most romantic people out there. I think whatever you are looking for you will notice all the people who don't fit the parameters. I remember back when I was single I went through a phase where I just wanted to go out and have fun--and it seemed like every guy I encountered wanted a Relationship with a capital R. It was very frustrating. I remember thinking I thought we were just going bowling and this guy is picking out china patterns, WTH? I would say it was just generational (it's been almost 20 years since I dated) except I have a couple young gay friends who say they have exactly the same problem. The one thing I will say is to look really closely at where you are meeting people and what kind of vibe you are giving off. I think part of my problem when I just wanted to go out and have fun was that, while that was where I was at at the moment, deep down I'm a relationship guy and I think people could sense that--I think that's probably true of the two young friends I mentioned as well. Good luck and don't give up!
No one suggested they were trying to get dates exclusively on the internet. Anyway I don't think it's true that the internet is only 'for hook ups and sex'. Yes there are plenty of people out there looking to hook up for sex on dating/social sites, but there are also plenty of people who are really serious about finding someone and making a real connection (and not just older people). Both my sister and one of my friends found their partners online. I've met (in person and via the internet) plenty of gay 20-somethings who are looking for 'forever' rather than 'right now'. Don't think wanting monogamy is weird either... everyone is different and has different aspirations.
We are out there. Those that are looking for more than a hookup, as has been said, don't usually find those people on line. We are looking for monogamy, trust, and loyalty. Even though we my go to the bars occasionally, we're usually found in our places of worship, clubs, activities, and the like. Concentrate on the activity or what have you and not on finding a mate. They'll come looking for you. Be upbeat and positive.
I made the mistake of using a dating app. First of all, the people on the app were extremely horny. The one guy I found on the app that was nice we had a conversation for about thirty minutes, he showed me a nice pic of himself and asked me out. I was super flattered because I'd never been asked out. Nonetheless, I ended up politely rejecting his offer, it just didn't feel right finding someone via a dating website. Idk, I kinda want to get to know someone outside and in person. Besides, I'm an undergrad and the gentleman was a resident of the area. I feel kinda guilty for getting the app then turning down a nice guy but I'm not sure I felt comfortable with the whole thing.
I dont look for love on the internet actually...I look for guys at my school or around where I live, and EVERY SINGLE ONE of them just wants to have sex with no committments. But I would consider online dating since real life dating isn't workin out that great. ---------- Post added 20th Apr 2015 at 01:23 PM ---------- Your sexual orientation is G.U.Y.? I love it. :eusa_danc
People look for dates on the internet because there is no place to look in the real world, I've tried both. It's 10x harder being gay and trying to meet people out and about in public. At least online you can search for "gay" guys
I think it's possible to find a relationship on the internet. I know a few women who have... But there are A LOT of people out there who just want to have sex or even sext online! I have to be careful coming out on other forums 'cause right away--curious/trysexual/bisexual women and men want to... Ugh. I used to go by queerlyagui online. Not anymore. lol Oh, please be careful what you post/share online considering... Edward Snowden's revelations, PRISM and everything. Big Brother is always watching!
