I was really wondering about this one in the shower this morning (best place to think, they say), but do you know anyone who claim they're not homophobic, but they are anyway? Like, Becky: Ew, that is the gayest thing I've seen. *shudders* Jessica: Oh my god, Becky. LITERALLY, that's the most homophobic thing you've ever said, like, ever. Becky: OMG no! I'm not homophobic. It's just that it's really gay.... Okay, maybe not the best example, but do you know anyone like a friend, family member, neighbor who is like this? Share your story here!
I know a girl who seems to be rather ok with LGBT people. But then again there's her whatsapp status: "god will always straighten you up" I know that this has kind of a double meaning so I asked her but I didn't really get an answer. I don't really know what to think about it
What RainDreamer said. Anyone who has to say they're "not homophobic" probably is. How else would it even come up in the conversation, anyway? I'd rather they at least own up to it, then people would see them for what they really are and shame them for it. Subtle homophobia is dangerous. My parents are "not homophobic," but they're against same-sex marriage, adoption, PDA, that kind of thing. And they'll use slurs to designate an effeminate man or masculine woman, almost without thinking of it. But if I say they're homophobic, they get all defensive. I think in their mind, a homophobe is the guy who'll beat a gay person to death just because he's gay. My parents don't hate gay people, but I still think they're homophobic. Maybe I'm too sensitive, I don't know.
A good female friend [that thinks I'm totally straight] is totally cool with guys being gay but freaks with lesbians. "I'm not [insert hatred] but [hate statement]" really pisses me off.
Nobody wants to be known as homophobic, racist, antisemitic, etc. That doesn't mean they aren't those things, they just don't see themselves that way. Nobody likes to see themselves as a bigot, so they create different definitions then what those attitudes actually mean. Case in point: the leader of the KKK says that they're not racist, they just believe in white supremacy. Because there's nothing racist about that, apparently.
"I'm not homophobic, I just think such a small minority shouldn't be able to redefine marriage" "I just don't want to see two men/women kissing" "I have a gay friend, uncle, brother, cousin, etc." Yeah, if you have to say you're not homophobic before saying something offensive, you probably are.
I used to be that type of person. Feel bad about it because I'm aware I probably hurt people who were struggling. The word homophobic or gay, etc doesn't even come up around my school. If someone acts a certain way their gawked or pointed at surreptitiously. Its very dehumanizing to be regarded in such a way because it erases the awareness we need for our type of community.
I have one friend who does this from time to time. That is, calling things gay or making gay 'jokes'. I'm slowly working on him to realise the mistake.
My dad doesn't use the "not homophobic" phrase, but the "not that there's anything wrong with that." So it will be "And this GAY GUY kept talking to me.. not that there's anything wrong with that."(All the while, his disdain is obvious). He is also a "I'm not being racist, but..." type. :rolle:
