lets call him John. I met John while in job training for the army. We were super close and everyone joked about the idea of us being gay, as did we (Note that I'm closeted and very straight acting). The two of us were virtually inseparable... I would best describe the friendship as a severe "bromance". Since then, we have kept in touch very well despite living multiple states away from each other. I know for a fact that I am pretty much the only one he keeps in touch with from job training. A few weeks ago he was in my state for other reasons and visited me. He also came to see other friends here, but I picked him up, spent the most time with him, and they were sort of an afterthought. We hit it off but obviously nothing happened because he is engaged to a woman and I'm straight as far as he knows. Well today I find out he's possibly backing out of the marriage after dating this girl since high school. It made me wonder if it's possible he's gay after all, considering I've had at least some degree of suspicion. They seemed to have somewhat of a rocky relationship from what I know, and he once told me they only have sex once a month, which seems crazy low for a couple of that age (21). Doubt he's actually gay but the fact that he's made such an effort to keep in touch and is now getting cold feet about marrying this girl got me thinking. YOU decide, gaydar technicians of EC!
I don't feel like there is enough information here and it's hard to guess someone else's sexuality. I've met very friendly guys that I was sure were gay but aren't and guys that seemed very straight turned out to be gay. Did he ever bring up gay in any of your conversations? Like if he was pro gay marriage or against it?
Maybe he's gay but he's afraid to talk A lot of people can be special if they act on themselves but thinking he's wrong he try to be like everyone but he can't
Possible. I had basically accepted the fact that this dude was straight and now the whole situation is just throwing me for a loop. The more I think about it, the more I feel like he might actually be gay.
Would you feel comfortable coming out to him? You said you were closeted but from what it sounds like he would be accepting and it sounds like you trust him. If you would feel comfortable with that, do it and see how he reacts. Or even just casually mention that you have a gay friend. It might help shed some light on the situation.
It's hard to say from that, if he's 21 he could've backed out because he just doesn't feel ready to commit at that age. If you came out then it may be easier to broach the subject, that said I would never advise coming out for that reason alone, especially if you don't feel ready yet. I'm nearly 23 and that's me only comfortable with my sexuality now.
Yeah I don't really feel comfortable with coming out to him at this point. We have a very close friendship, but entirely a "straight" friendship so to speak and I don't want to jeopardize that by making him uncomfortable. Gay or not, he's still a really important person in my life.
if you don't feel comfortable coming out to him, he probably wouldn't be comfortable coming out to you, even more so because of the situation he's in. try to be supportive of him however you can, but it shouldn't be your covert mission to figure out his sexuality. if anything, your major concern should be why he's so nervous about the marriage. you can try to talk to him about that and see where it goes from there. it seems like he's in a rough place; be a good friend and help him out.
Does not sound like it from what you've said. He might just consider you a very nice friend and he might just be having relationship problems with his girlfriend. The fact that he was engaged to a woman doesn't really help, and there's many other reasons he would back out besides sexual orientation. But who knows? Small chance, sure, but I wouldn't count on it.
