Hey all, just looking for a spot of advice. I'm a closet bisexual and not even my girlfriend knows. The only people that know are guys from online and a guy that I flirted with back in school. I've been with my girlfriend for 13 months now and I'm sure that I wanna be with her for the rest of my life but thing is that I've never experimented with the other side of my sexuality, with guys. I really wanna explore my sexuality fully before I settle but I'd never forgive myself for going behind my girlfriend. I just feel like I'd be doing the wrong thing in exploring myself and I wanna know if anyone has any advice.
Whether or not you'd forgive yourself, you would be doing the wrong thing by going behind her back. The way I see it, here are your options: - Hide your interest in guys and stay with your girlfriend - Talk to your girlfriend about it, ask for "permission" to experiment, maybe negotiate an open relationship for a short time if you think you two can deal with it. She may say no, in which case you can go back to option one or option three. Or she may say yes, and life will be perfect. - Cheat on your girlfriend with guys, satisfy your curiosity, and lie to her. Option 1 is going to be difficult on you, though maybe possible depending on how strong your curiosity is. Option 3 would be a very low thing to do. I recommend you talk to your girlfriend. If she really is the love of your life, she deserves to know you and she also deserves not to be cheated on. She may take it badly. She may be hurt and feel like she's not enough for you. She may not understand or be disgusted (here, we're back in usual Coming Out Advice territory; you can look at other threads to see how to drop hints and approach the topic). She may say no. But honestly? It's the decent thing to do.
As Lyana said, do not go behind your girlfriend's back. She doesn't deserve for that to happen to her and she may lose all trust in you if you do. Please do talk to her about it. She might be confused and unsure about the situation but if you speak to her calmly it will be easier for the both of you. If she allows you to experiment, then go for it. If not, then you will have to surpress your attraction to men. It will be hard to do so, but do it for the sake of your relationship if you want it to work out.
Thank you for the good advice guys, helped me get my head around things. I guess I'll try to come out to her as my first step *gulp*, see where things go from there. Maybe that'd be too much for her and she'd break up anyway :/
I'd give some advice but it looks like you've decided to take the first step. Please, keep me updated and tell me how she takes it.
