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Parents Are Too Gender Focused

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Justinian20, Apr 26, 2015.

  1. Justinian20

    Regular Member

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    This is my parents, they won't let me buy anything that is not masculine in nature. As every time without fail, they say this to me when they discovered I trim my leg and arm hair. "you're a boy which means you don't do this." I at the moment want to do something with my nails, because they are really great nails and I want to do something with them. I want to use nail polish, I know that my parents though will say "Don't paint your nails cause boys don't do that." They will even say that if I bought slightly feminine clothes. I don't like it when they say it because it annoys me, won't stop me from doing it in secret.
     
  2. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    I'm completely with you on that, maybe even more with you than you are, people sometimes say I'm extreme on this topic. I often say that parents ought to consider even from birth whether they should force cis norms onto their children. I know my parents never meant to be mean to me by not allowing me to wear pink, etc., but looking back I see it's done a lot of harm (I could even see it at the time sometimes).

    My advice to you is,
    1) Don't listen to one word they say against your own free expression
    2) Try not to be too harsh on them (not that I'm implying you are)
    3) Consider confronting them and their 'values' for lack of a better word and tell them this is what you want to do

    Stay true to yourself and have a hug <3 (*hug*)
     
  3. Holly

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    I'm in a similar position. I got my hair cut short, and I was so surprised that mum was relatively okay with it, considering she's very focused on femininity and masculinity.

    I like to dress relatively androgynous. Not overly so, but I generally feel better in slightly masculine clothing, and my mum still tries to force me into a dress. Any hint of overly masculine clothing and my mum immediately is like 'no'.

    It's frustrating. But remember to stay true to yourself. Express yourself how you wish!
     
  4. LesbianThrasher

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    I can kind of relate to that too. I sometimes like to wear male clothing more than most things from the female section because it's more comfortable and I like the style. My parents think it's unacceptable and say that I'm a girl and should only wear girls clothing.

    I even remembered when we went to the mall to shop for some shoes, I was looking in the men's section and my mom wanted me to go back over to the girls section and she said that the men will think I'm a lesbian (I'm not out to them yet). She said it in such a vicious way that I started to get all upset and I almost cried.:icon_sad: But I also don't get why having to wear boys clothing would make people think I'm gay...
     
  5. silkyprince

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    this is a really horrible thing to do. i'm glad that a lot of people have started rebelling against it, but we still have a loooong way to go.

    it's super hard being non-binary and as feminine as i am, because no one is ever going to think i'm anything but a girl when i'm decked out in pink and hello kitty merch. i eagerly await the day boys will be able to wear skirts in public without it being some sort of drag parade or being beaten. it'll help out a lot of people.