So I'm 18 and my mom is 51. I lost my grandmother to a life of smoking and stage 1 liver cancer on 24 February 2008, then my dad had a seizure, collapsed & eventually passed on 2 October 2010. My mom is the only immediate family member I have left. I'm an only child... If she dies, or something bad happens, my aunt becomes her executor of her estate, and I will have to move to Florida to live with my aunt and uncle for a while. I can't work because I have bipolar disorder and a possible psychosis. But I believe my uncle would make me work anyway, even though legally I can't. My mom supports me in any way possible. She was at all my spelling bees, geography bees.... (all 4 of which I won for the school and almost went onto nationals in 2006 and 2010). My mom is my best friend. I do have Aspergers Syndrome, and I read somewhere that Aspie men develop a close attachment to women, so I believe my mom is my attachment. I guess I have "mommy issues" because I have always had a fear of losing my mom. My mom's boyfriend said I should start working because "what if something happens to [my mom]?"... I know there will come a day when I will lose my mom. It breaks my heart every day... My father wasn't a family man, thus, he was a bad parent. He treated my mom and I in a very cruel manner, and he hated my grandmother. I remember a fight he and my grandma had when I was 7.... A family friend said of my grandmother, "She would just come to church and cry" because of the fights.
oh god im sorry dude, i know i might not be able to offer you any advice i will atleast be able to offer my condolences for your situation
Well ok so your mom is only 51. Would if she lives to be 100? Then you'll have her until your 60s. You know my grandfather had his mom until he was 68 and she was 101 and his dad passed away when he was 17 and he had no grandparents by then either. So who knows I mean I worry about my mom dieing all the time but you just have to remember as long as you take care of yourself you can live a long life.
Luckily 51 really isn't very old these days. I would treasure each moment you have with her and try not to worry so much. She likely has many years left!
omg hunnnny things will be ok <3 you are a amazing person i don't know you personally but the way you talk shows how sweet and caring you are <3 everyone looses their parent eventually and I'm sorry you lost you grandma and dad may they rest in peace <3 all i can say is you have your mom hun cherish every moment with her, if she's healthy don't think to much about it. I don't know how you feel I've not lost a parent and since you only have your mom i can see why you worry but cherish everyday and make everyday count hun <3 i bet she will live to 100 just don't think to much about it, i know it must be hard but just hang in there
arfff hey boy I'd like to say hang in there. You're not alone, I also diagnosed with Type II bipolar around 4 years ago, but i dont have psychotic symptoms instead i have frequent suicidal thought. Right now i'm taking my meds again because last flare of depression was too much to handle. I'm still studying as a med student. you should contact professional help for your BiP. If the condition is well controled you will be able to work and perform like other people with no BiP =) My condolences for your Grandma and Dad passing, may they rest in peace You're mother still 51, even its true that we dont know when will we die but the life expectancy are getting longer every day due to medical innovations... And i agree with what most folks already say previously before me. Cherish every moment you have with her sorry i cant give you better advice stay strong arfff
Your Mom is still relatively young at the age of 51, so I'm wondering if you have any cause for these concerns? Assuming your Mom is in good health, she could reasonably be expected to live for another 20+ years. Yes, everyone dies eventually and sometimes it can happen suddenly, but life expectancy in most western countries is very good now and we are getting much better at treating illnesses that might have caused premature death, even 20 years ago. Look after your Mom and encourage her to be healthy and you could enjoy many more years with her. I can understand your concerns, but try to remain optimistic.
Average life expectancy for a woman in New Jersey is 83 years so she should be around for another 3 decades if not longer. At this present moment she is in 'middle life' so there's no reason to be concerned. I understand where you're coming from though - I fear losing my mother as well. I don't think about it a lot now but my mother played the role of two parents in one and we were very close when I was younger. She will have the same fear of losing you as well.
I agree that you should start working on accepting the fact that one day, your mother will no longer be there for you. But your mom is only 51, she likely still has plenty of time left in her! Does your mother also smoke like her grandmother? Maybe you could encourage her to quit or something, if that makes you feel better. I understand the fear. My mom had a heart attack 6 months ago and very nearly died. It hurts still when I see her eat unhealthy food (at least she quit smoking right away, and she doesn't drink). The idea that my parents would die wasn't tangible until that point. Since then, I've started making mental plans for the worst, and although I'm confident both my parents have 10 years left in them at least (mom is 55, dad turns 61), I'm trying to be ready for the loss. It's bleak, and I haven't and wouldn't tell them that, but it's something I feel like I have to be prepared for.
