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How do you plan on giving your children "the talk"?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by randomly me, May 17, 2015.

  1. randomly me

    randomly me Guest

  2. Quem

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    I can't remember my parents telling me actually. If anything, it should be an accurate story (no lie), but it shouldn't be graphic. Just decent and lightly. =)
     
  3. Yosia

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    I will just straight-up tell them. They will find out someday so you may as well teach them before they (unsafely) teach themselves.
     
  4. Kaiser

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    I ask what they know, correct or confirm this, and then speak appropriately to them. But being honest. I want my kids to be informed by me, not their idiotic peers.

    Pretty simple, really.
     
  5. Bi in MD

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    I tried to explain it to my kid but my wife is fugly, so when it came down to the description of the mechanics of the process, the child immediately assumed it was all a joke because nobody was brave enough to do such a thing.
    I knew one day when she came home from school that they taught that part in school because she walked in and said to me.
    Daddy, Im so sorry for you, you are such a brave man and I understand why I never had a brother or sister.
    True story.
     
  6. Im Hazel

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    My friend's sex-ed from his mom went like this: "You know what sex is right? Yeah, you should do by now. Remember to use lube when doing anal!"

    So I'd probably end up saying something like that. I mean, with the internet, kids grow fast.
     
  7. YuriBunny

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    I would make my wife do it. :lol:

    I'm too awkward for that to go well...
     
  8. C P

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    Didn't get 'the talk' myself but, if I even have kids, I probably would just do as Quem goes on about; be truthful about what actually goes on.

    It likely would be awkward as hell either way, coming from someone who has no interest in it though. :lol: This is one of those things I would rather just not talk about myself, but will if I have to.

    Thank you! XD
     
  9. Bi in MD

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    All great stories start with a beer.
    Ok, so the first thing is you go to a bar and get drunk with some women you dont really know.....
     
  10. Kaya-Sente

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    Frankly, considering my 1 year old nephew was able to learn how to use my tablet faster than myself, and the fact that I have spent more than a few minutes on the internet, I don't think many of us will have to worry about explaining how it works. At least if you were of the "wait until puberty when it is relevant" train of thought. As I wont have any kids any time soon, I would probably have to decide whether it is better to give the simple version when they first ask where babies come from or wait until they are older.

    As I am though, I imagine my approach would be panic and hide
     
  11. Austin

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    Yea with the internet they will find out quickly probably. But I probably would not tell a 5 year old much about sex. They may ask, you could give a very brief and non-graphic explanation "it's what two people do with each other when they love each other" (don't need to explain its for fun too!) or something (even cop out "you'll find out when you're older) and then the kid will forget about it and go play with a toy...
     
  12. BMC77

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    Or maybe if the kid is a boy he'll go and play with something attached to his body between his legs...
     
  13. Bi in MD

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    Im surprised nobody has mentioned sitting the little tyke down in front of porn, then coming in and answering questions after he can speak again.

    Im just kidding, no need to call child services or the FBI or anything.
     
  14. Gen

    Gen
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    Whenever they begin asking questions.

    The real talk will come right before they begin to have opportunities to be sexually active. Pregnancy! STDs! Bacterial Infections! Death!! Oh, they will absolutely be getting a whole powerpoint on Herpes alone.
     
  15. Bi in MD

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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N47aKq7uxa8
     
  16. newfish

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    I'll start them off with books - for example, my family had Before You Were Born which was good for young readers, although it didn't cover sex, just a bit about where babies come from. Then I would work up with MORE books. (I haven't really gotten "the talk," just the internet and high school health class, so I'm a bit confused on how to approach it.) I won't dodge questions. When they near becoming sexually active, I'll talk to them more about safe sex (which the books will also cover in detail. I have a job shelving books and see books like this sometimes). I'm putting a lot of faith in books.

    Anyway, that's all assuming I actually have kids. Very undecided at the moment.