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Coming out... again... and again... and again.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by El Extranjero, May 17, 2015.

  1. El Extranjero

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    R.O.I.
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    When I first came out around two years ago, I though it was great. I was out, and I felt relieved, the job was done and I was ready to get on with my life. I've since noticed that I've had to come out on more occasions that I care to count (at least three times so far this month alone). I recently started a new job in a new city, and already there is a growing list of people that I am becoming friends with who don't know that I'm gay - people who I will eventually have to come out to. While I definitely am more comfortable doing so after years of practice, I still can't help but get that sinking feeling and worry about how they might react.

    How do you guys deal with having over and over again?
     
  2. newfish

    Full Member

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    I came out to like six people and now I just kinda hope that the rest catch on eventually. It's not really relevant, so I don't see it as totally necessary to bother with the awkwardness.
     
  3. Steele

    Full Member

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    Location:
    West Coast, United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Yup, coming out repetitively gets old really fucking fast. This is one of the reasons I detest heterosexism so much and why it's annoying as fuck when everyone just assumes that everyone they meet is straight by default.

    I'm still not out to any of my extended family members or some of my friends, and whenever I'm in a room full of people who I know are probably just assuming I'm straight, even if most of the people are probably never gonna see me again, it just adds ridiculous amounts of stress and discomfort to a life that's already pretty hectic and gets tough to manage at times.
     
  4. Miles16

    Miles16 Guest

    You could treat it as if they already know, as if it's not a big deal at all. In passing conversation: "I saw this cute guy walking down the street..." or if you're in a relationship, "So me and my boyfriend were out at this restaurant and..." etc. If they ask, you tell them. If they don't, then they now know and are treating it with as much concern as they ought to, which is none at all. If they make an issue of it, that's on them. If they stew on it without voicing anything out loud, again that's on them, and out of your control.
     
  5. HugasaurusRex

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Manchester UK
    I am a little too out for people to NOT notice I am gay. If people know where and how to look they will easily see it. Not to mention I would not continually "come out" to people. I never tell anyone any more, they will find out one way or another. Though like I said, with me it is not very hard to tell I am gay.
     
  6. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    Location:
    Far above the clouds, gazing deep below the Earth
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    In the best of worlds coming out would not be necessary.

    As for now, I'm holding out for the day when people won't see my as a guy or a trans girl, but will just assume I'm a girl...

    Sexuality wise I don't mind as much. Just as long as I can talk about hot guys and girls and non-binaries without people questioning 'Huh?! WhAT?!' I'm happy...