Now I actually have realized I am a nerdy guy in a big way, I love video game worlds and my creativity makes me an even bigger nerd, as I somehow find ways to create my own stories using video games and other mediums. I just realized this after how excited I got after downloading my mod for Medieval II Total War. But then I am sometimes a really out there guy who loves acting and is super talkative and likes to do a variety of stuff. I'm like a weird ass nerd in that case, I feel like I'm actually a very rare kind of personality. Cause I can somewhat be a friend of straight guys because of my nerd personality(which is pretty male in all aspects and my knowledge on history and specific subjects definitely borders on nerd), yet my loud and flamboyant personality allows me to be a friend of many girls(this personality gets me more friends, like a lot more). I also would say I got that femme element to myself. I just think my personality is a weird combination, do you know anyone or are you that weird combination of personalities, that is my question to you guys here. Please specify what weird combination of personality you are. I want to hear more about you guys and your personalities. Do you have what are seemingly complete opposites in personality or are you like me in that your personality is just a plain weird combination.
I am a living paradox. That is the most simplistic way of putting it. I've been told I am remarkably difficult to read, even if people can guess the direction I'm going, they rarely, if at all, know the destination.
I am a recluse to most people I don't know well, and I've had people say they thought I was mute in the past. But the more I get to know someone, I become overconfident and talkative, perhaps annoyingly so. I guess I'm just the type that exists in polar extremes. The good news is that more and more, I'm getting to be known for my bluntness and honesty. That was always a conscious goal of mine, to try and become more confident in my own skin and step by step I have felt myself becoming steadily more happy than I once was. Those dark patches of shadowy doubts, the gnawing loneliness, it happens more scarcely these days.
If so, then that is a choice. Because you always have the ability to tell the person the destination. Unless you don't know it yourself. In which case, that's not paradoxical. It's just messy, like the rest of us.
