Straight women calling gay men misogynistic?

Some people will make up anything they feel like about you and blame it on misogyny, I would just ignore them

 

I've been called a misogynist by some women because I do not not fit their preconceived image of a gay guy - one who is likely to side with women and lambast their straight male companions as chauvinistic pigs. Some straight women seem to expect me to be more like them for whatever reason - always take great pleasure in them discovering that I'm not.

 

I've heard this claim before and I find it largely unfounded.

Yes, there are some gay misogynists out there. "I'm so glad I'm not attracted to women, because women are fucking stupid". That's an actual quote from a gay friend of mine. Lovely. But he's the only one like that I've met. And I think some of his bravado is for show and I question whether he really believes these things he says.

Saying genitals are gross does not make you a mis-whatever. Like you said, I hear it from men and women both. It might make you immature or overcompensating, but it doesn't make you a misogynist or misandrist. And likewise, harassing someone makes you a harasser and that's a separate issue, but it doesn't make you a misogynist or misandrist.

I see far more misogyny among straight men that I do among gay men. Sometimes I wonder if they're just jealous that we don't find them attractive lol.

I've met trans men who are misogynistic--does that mean I should label trans men as a whole as "internal misogynists" or some crap like that? Of course not. Bad apples don't kill the tree. They fall and rot lol.

 

Oh, and that thing about gay male privilege - make that gay white male privilege. Seems some people have objections to us being represented at all because the only thing putting us at a disadvantage is our sexuality. :rolleyes: Morons.

 

I've heard people claim that "gay white males" are "hijacking the LGBT community". :rolle:

It's like--do you want us with you or not?

 

I think the generalization of any group in a negative light is just plain ignorance.
Are there misgynistic gay men? Yeup, I am sure there are. Are they all that way? Nope. Gay men are people, not some random subspecies that come with a different set of morals. Just like anyone else you have a few bad apples, cause that's just how people are regardless of what they do with their junk.
To say such a blanket statement is unfair to a community of people who have a better chance of understanding prejudice based upon uncontrollable variables(like gender, sexuality etc.) than most others.
I don't understand why there are individuals that seem like they just want to make enemies. I dunno though, maybe I'm just a hippie when it comes to things like this haha.
When you touched on the topic of Magic Mike and other such things I think you tapped into something I have been feeling for a while. Don't mind me just putting in my two cents about this.
Is it just me, or has been become okay on the internet for women to sexualize gay men? Yet those same women will get angry when women are sexualized. It a strange double standard with women and gay men. I don't mean to say that this is the case every time, just that it happens more then I'd like it to.

 

Thanks for your consideration.

I would argue that these straight women are simply wrong.

The only criticism I have heard is where some gay men get touchy and do inappropriate things like grope women's breasts, and think it's "okay" because "I would never have sex with her," and this behavior is rightly criticized.

So unless this behavior is a near universal from gay men (which I doubt), then it is inappropriate for these straight women to be making these specific claims.

~ Adrienne

 

I've met a few fucking ridiculous feminine gay men who have said stupid shit about women.. Smart beautiful women I might add! I guess they were just jealous of them? I think misogynist fits their profile too though.

Let me tell you something though.. There are also gay men who stick up for women when noone else will! Just like there are misandrists in the lesbian community there are also lesbians who love guys. I know this because I fit the profile of a misandrist some days. It's really just distrust of guys :lol: so when I get to know them my dislike/suspicion usually dies down. I must not fit the profile of a misandrist entirely because there are a bunch of guys I like on a friendship/respectful level without really knowing them. I also hate some women sometimes too so?

It goes both ways but I'll admit I've met more gay who who dislike women then i have lesbians who dislike men. Also my distrust of guys started after I found out I was a lesbian? So that just adds to my confusion. I am not a lesbian because I don't trust guys. I simply adore women :lol:

 

I might take her more serious if she were a member of the LGBT community, actually sharing spaces and resources with misogynistic gay men, but as a straight woman? It makes her sound like a homophobic douche bag, painting every gay man with a broad brush.

Imagine if a white woman said "black men are misogynist". Sure, misogyny exists, but don't act like one group has a monopoly over it, because it sounds like you're going after the "easier" targets. Is it so wrong because it's misogyny, or because it's misogyny coming from gay men?

At some point it gets ridiculous, like when straight women say they're "ignored" at gay bars. Uhm, hello? You can't go somewhere and expect to be treated like royalty. Arguably, straight people have more places they can feel a sense of community and safety. Simply stop associating with obnoxious people.

 

While I have met some gay men who absolutely do hate women, they are so so so rare. Saying that gay men are more misogynistic that straight men is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.

 

While there are some gay men who do hold some very misogynistic views, I actually think that many more gay men are actually much more friendly to causes such as feminism.

It's not that non-white cis males don't want us in the movement, it's that they want some visibility to parts of the movement that aren't just gay white cisgender males. It has a lot to with intersectionality in the movement. People such as Harvey Milk and Alan Turing who were gay white cisgender males were important to the movement, but it's also important to include people such as Bayard Rustin, Ellen Degeneres, Laverne Cox, and others who do not fit that mold are also able to become more easily visible in the community.

 

Brilliant. I've seen this too. It's a convenient little weapon, as are the other current ones not related to gender - "you lack empathy" and "you have Asperger's," both diagnoses that lay people are not fully capable of making.

I use the 4 letter "c" word for women and the 5 letter "pr" word for men if the person is a detestable version of that gender. Equal opportunity is at work. It takes energy to dislike and harbor negativity toward people, but I've met women and men who have been fairly repugnant to me.

To call someone a misogynist or a misandrist would mean they dislike the entire gender, without exceptions. It is rather extreme. I'm sure there are a few here and there.

I've had more scrapes with women for the reasons mentioned above. I take a guy's side if a guy is right. I can't stand it when women who have the ability to be SAHMs think they can whine to me ad nauseam, nitpicking about some shortcomings and quirks of their husbands, and I'm not even talking abuse or communication that has broken down. I also don't like it when I am sideswiped just for the fun of taunting me or cutting me down to size, just like my broken record experience with a dental hygienist, because some women think they can do that. One friend said some women are frustrated by that because some good male specimens are out of the dating pool. Women bosses who are insecure and have to treat men more poorly while advancing other women is another insidious problem. Once you get past those groups, I communicate with women fairly well. The same is true with men. Once you get past the group that dismisses you because you don't share their interests, I probably get along with them slightly better.

---------- Post added 30th May 2015 at 03:51 PM ----------

I've met equal quantities. I've seen that more butch or militant lesbians tend to have more scrapes with guys. I've seen that the opposite ends of the spectrum among gay men - the severe looking leather guy who will mow down someone in his path and the highly flamboyant type tend to have more scrapes with women and make nastier comments.

 

Okay so I had a shit reply and felt like I needed to delete it.. I feel like the world just needs to light a giant bong and smoke it honestly. Because we can all admit that humans are not perfect.. And gender should not play a role in this. But unfortunately I do get more annoyed by guys then by women.. There are times I want to punch a girl so hard though.

I guess what i'm trying to say is.. noone has a good enough reason to hate an entire gender based on the few experiences they have with certain members of said gender.

Yes I have met more assholes then good guys in my lifetime but.. to even say I have met good guys is a good enough reason to not hate all of them? If you know what I mean? I have good friends who are guys.. and who I take side with sometimes over the stupid shit their ex girlfriends did to them. They aren't angels though and have made many mistakes. What human doesn't though?

 

After being on this forum for two years?



But in all seriousness, I recognize that was meant to be strictly in comparison to heterosexual men.

~~~​

Misogyny is absolutely rampant in the LGBTQ community and homosexual men are without a doubt among the most guilty as a demographic; however, that has little to do with orientation and everything to do with the fact that sexism is simply a part of society and minorities are not immune.

 

Yeah, I was going to say, ever been on a forum dominated by straight men? It's a definite problem in queer men at times, certainly, but the magnitude is not remotely close to the same.


Now, if you want to talk about racism in queer men....

 

But that would require us to be able to admit its existence in any community...

 

WHY do I find that gif cute?!

 

Because I specialize in cute gifs. :icon_cool

But not to derail the thread any further, it is Jeremy Renner.

 

Can we, though? Can we talk about how certain ethnicities are grossly fetishized and others are outright rejected? Can we talk about how people make clear and decisive statements like "I only date Asians" or "No latinos ever" or "Black men with at least 8-inch dicks only"?