First of all i am sure there are people like this in every group that don't have compassion for what other people like them are going through I meet a few of them myself. I remember while in a small college town i went to this meeting for lgbt people which happened to be full of women and I was telling them about having very bigoted roommates and this one lady responded by saying "Well if your not comfortable being out than you shouldn't be here" it was on the lines of that from what I remember and it was horrible. I eventually went to the college group and never stepped foot in that place again. Just for discussion not looking for advice how do you deal with people like this. I mean this small town in general none of the lgbt people were open and understanding of my situation and totally blow me off without really getting to know. It was a nightmare but it crossed my mind again so I thought I would bring it up.
While I can understand the one who said that in some way (I'm guessing she meant that those who are out can be hurt, so to fully prevent it, one might consider not being there), she didn't say particularly well. Some people respond like that, some take that well and some don't appreciate that. We're all different. I do think you did a good job not going back. If you feel the group was not for you, then you shouldn't be there (which is, ironically, in some way related to what the lady herself said to you). There are people you'll click with very likely. :icon_bigg And the group you didn't go to anymore, perhaps others would enjoy it there. =) But you decided to not go back, which is good. (*hug*)
I think we get a sense of community through online forums such as emptyclosets or through LGBTQ* support groups but in the real world there is no such 'community' sense - Some people lack empathy for stuff that they themselves have been through, and some people are just mean, regardless of sexuality, and you just have to learn to brush them off and not let them ruin your day.
Yeah I did not come off in a way that seemed offensive. I wanted support and guidance and to be open with people had no self hatred or anything at all. I mean she just had this rude reaction to me me being closeted my roommate was potentially dangerous person this was a small city not your typical big city college. But this happened five years ago and crossed my mind so I brought it up. I am over all that now. It was hell though. The reason I remember it so well this closeted guy I was seeing dumped me after a two weeks and i think it was because I was taking steps out of the closet. Crazy times. ---------- Post added 31st May 2015 at 12:39 PM ---------- Yeah I am over it. Happened five years ago but it is something that always got to me. You cannot always expect people who are like you to have the same kind of compassion and I learned that the hard way.
In my experiences when I've been LGBTQ events while closeted or partly closeted, I've received nothing but support and a privacy policy with respect to people's different levels of outness. I guess everyone's different though.
Yeah for some reason i think it was just the kind of messed up environment that it was in that town. People had this attitude that they did not give a shit about anybody and it was from everyone not just lgbt people. It was small college town with a lot of drama but I that is another story.
You aren't alone in running across asswipes like this. I've run into a number of people with this sort of attitude. One particular situation I'll note here(if anyone remembers my 'It's 2014!' thread) is a time where I ran into this one guy again elsewhere online who, upon realizing I was still closeted, instantly started jumping my shit and, to put it lightly, was basically blaming closeted folk for all of the 'community's problems. He said it's people like us who are the reason people think there is something wrong with being gay, that it offended him that I was closeted, about what year it is...blah blah blah *bunch of finger pointing nonsense* Absolutely no thought given to the fact that many of us still aren't fortunate enough to have supportive people in our lives and aren't in states of mind where coming out feels worth the trouble. And yet people wonder why I tend to have this...disdain for the 'community' at times. It at times feel like other lgbt folk cause us more trouble than the homophobes, as sad as that sounds.
