I normally look like a straight person and I'm okay with it. I sometimes make myself look gay to avoid male attention. I took a picture of myself trying to look gay and asked people to guess what sexuality I am. A lot of people thought I was straight or bi. Why? I had dykey hair in that picture, no makeup and a baggy sweater.
You can put a cherry on feces -- it's still shit. Your attitude, how you carry yourself, is going to be the best way to convey a message. You have to be you, which means liking who you like, whoever that may be: Yes, some folks will believe/think you're heterosexual: It's the "default" attraction to much of the world, a sort of 'straight until proven gay' society. Yes, some folks will discredit/not believe you're anything but heterosexual: This is a coping mechanism of some folks, who either do not like change, have a prejudice, or are just assholes to everybody. Most of the time you can cut off these toxic individuals; and the ones you don't, it gives you motivation to get away from that. Yes, some folks will want you to "prove" your queerness: This is insecurity and stupidity. You don't want to associate with these individuals, because they're not going to help you grow as a person, nor love you properly. There isn't a universal "straight way/acting", instead there is individual projections. What may be a stereotype of a heterosexual individual, may just be a universal quality in potentially anybody. For example, that mustachioed Austrian liked to paint, but is he the image/idea/association when somebody mentions the arts? I'd hope not! For me, personally, it's Picasso or Van Gogh's ear-ry quirks (I'm sorry, I'll stop with the puns). The point here is, if you try and conform to a stereotype -- and you don't come off as authentic -- you appear foolish and attention-seeking to your audience/others. This may be why folks have a difficult time perceiving you as anything but heterosexual. I don't say that, or this, to be mean, but to provide insight into possibly why you yield no results. If you want to be taken seriously, you have to live like you give no fuck, invest so that you make progress, and when others see all you are doing, or have done, they'll take almost anything you say as absolute authority. Because you aren't playing a role, you're living your life. <3
You shouldn't have to try to look gay, don't feel like people need to constantly be aware of it. There are so many gay or bisexual guys that I wouldn't know about just from appearance. I'm not really sure what exactly defines a gay look either, because the metrosexual fashion trend going on makes it difficult to guess. Wear what YOU like, not what you think other people will like.
Most of the time I don't try to look gay. I just look like a regular and slightly hipsterish girl. I just try to look gay for random pictures and stuff like that. I remember that I also cut off a lot of my hair when I tried to come out of the closet and no one believed me.
The problem is, sporn, you're looking for validation from others. It sucks that people have not believed you when you came out. But the point of coming out is not to "prove" to everyone around you that you're gay. The point is sharing this part of yourself so you can be authentic and open in your life with those closest to you. I understand it's probably invalidating to have others tell you they don't think you're gay. But try to just focus on getting comfortable with yourself and living your life the way you want to. Eventually maybe you'll get a girlfriend and those people who have doubted you won't have much to say, then. For now, though, try to focus less on what others are saying and more on just being yourself.
People Will see what they see and think what they think. We need to no let that bother us one way or another..easier said than done.
I don't think it's that important what others think of me. If anyone asks, I'll tell them. If a man starts coming on to me, he'll soon find out.
