Gender Roles - Shouldn't We All Be Equal?

But without gender roles, how would we know how to act? How would we know which clothes to by? HOW!?

 

My view on gender roles is basically just about freedom:

If you want to adhere to gender roles, that's your prerogative, and I'm not going to criticize you for it.

But don't expect me to stick to them, because I won't. And when it comes to helping people and doing things for others, gender is pretty much never a factor for me.

 

I am a feminine man, and I like having a feminine gender role. You will pry it from my cold, stiff, dead fingers.

It's not gender roles that are the problem, but it's the fact that these roles were once forced on people, as if it would somehow make us better to be an exaggerated cartoon stereotype that we were not and COULD not be.

I found society trying to forcibly indoctrinate me into a male gender role to be terribly violating and hurtful. It was so unnecessary. The men around me could have just realized that I wanted to be treated like a "delicate one" and be appreciated for the fact that I tried to be nice, sweet and approachable. As it was, I was ignored, excluded and treated like crap. I eventually went kind of bonkers, and by that, I mean "future school shooter" bonkers. Internally, I was incredibly messed-up because people did not embrace me as I was.

There are real gender roles. Women more frequently find themselves more at home in a "feminine" gender role, and men who don't prefer a "masculine" gender role are the exception, not the rule. Most men and most women love their gender roles. They enjoy who they are. They have a right to. This "equality" shouldn't be enforced.

But do not reject a person for not fitting that model. Some people just don't, and they don't want to. They find the idea of being forced into that model upsetting and disturbing. It makes them deeply unhappy. It's not the gender roles that are the problem. The problem is rejecting people for what they are, which is a form of cruelty.

 

You made a great distinction in that it should be about removing the gender and maintaining the courtesy. It is common courtesy to hold the door for anyone in a group if you happen to be the first to grab it. Whether it is letting them in before you or walking in and holding the door for those behind you. Many people approach these things with the argument that "Women should have to get their own doors!" and "Men shouldn't be obligated to help shoulder heavy burdens!".

If you have the opportunity to hold the door for someone, then hold the door. If you notice that someone has to lift an object that you would have more easy with, then lend a hand. None of these things are restricted to gender, however, and if we make too much of a habit of defaulting a lesser sense of strength or a need for special courtesy to women than we encourage the mindset that paints them as lesser.

It isn't about stopping these actions much as truly making them matters of courtesy rather for the sake of the belief that there is this need for men to assist women with the physicalities of life.

Edit: By the way, I believe this thread is about gender norms rather than gender roles.

 

Because society is just...society? I don't understand it either, so...

I just do me and let others do them. I'll hold the door for anybody... I'll offer to care for anybody... I don't really take gender into consideration with the things I do.

 

I hate being expected to hold a door for a woman how about they hold the door for me sometime

In all seriousness gender roles need to be gone. They are bad and toxic to society and one of the biggest causes of stereotyping and hatred among us.

 

I will be me. Deal with it, over-gendered society.

 

Psssh I don't follow any gender roles, period. I think It's garbage we still believe in them in this day and age.

 

I prefer to ignore gender roles and do whatever I feel like doing~.

 

I don't care who is in my kitchen. Only that my sandwich is being made.

 

I think that Life is too short to play gender games.

---------- Post added 2nd Jun 2015 at 02:28 PM ----------

We should all be treated the same.

 

I don't know if gender roles are the problem per se. Some people really like their gender roles. Many women like having doors opened for them, being helped with heavy lifting, and being bought dinner on a date. Many men like having someone to "take care of." Many people are quite content in their roles. People who want to get rid of gender roles completely are trying to push what they think is best onto everyone else who may not necessarily agree. Or, because they happen to not conform to gender roles, they think the best thing for them is to get rid of them, so they don't take into consideration people who like the comfort of gender roles. That said, in terms of holding he door open, etc, I think many women are content with having men do the lifting, even if they're for equality in other aspects. Similarly, many men are content with the power males have in society and are happy to do the heavy lifting and open doors since it gives them more power. I think people tend to be selective on the gender roles they don't like.

Anyways, I agree with TENNYSON in regards to: people should be able to choose if they want to adhere to traditional gender roles or not. The problem is not necessarily the gender roles, it's the people who can't accept the choice that other's make when they decide not to follow them. Under that umbrella, we can include things like equal pay for women... If you don't want to conform to the "stay at home win the kids," society should accept that and pay you the same, etc. If more people would live and let live.... But that won't happen.

 

This is true too. I kinda like gender roles, in a way. I think it's sorta cute when couples follow gender roles. ^^

Now, if only I were a guy, I'd be quite content with my gender roles. The thought of conforming to the female gender roles makes me feel kinda sick... >.< I don't want to be 'treated like a girl'... I always daydream about being the one opening doors, treating my date, etc. It bothers me to know I'm expected to want it the other way around.

It's like you you said; people need to accept that not everyone will fit into their gender roles.

 

I don't think it's a problem to like gender roles, It's a problem that they're enforced on society. There's a lot of stigma against men doing anything remotely feminine or even women being too masculine in their roles to society. And there's also a problem within the more liberal crowd that tries to enforce the idea that anyone who does not fit a traditional gender role is trans or non-binary, which is also false.

I don't want to be the type of person who says "Burn down dresses and staying at home for women", but we should be able to be as masculine as we want and still be real women, and the same goes for men (who have it even worse in this regard).

 

I'm a guy...and people (men and sometimes women) hold door for me!
How did that happen?!

Get out of my kitchen. You're going to make a mess of it. I'm gonna make the sandwich for myself, 'coz am a strong and independent man~!

 

Personally I think they're sort of dumb, people should be allowed to be as masculine or feminine as they want. If other people want to follow the, that's fine, but expecting everyone to doesn't work.

 

I suppose for many people the notion of chivalry is very much alive, however, many others disagree and are adamant about not conforming to historically determined gender roles and courtesies. I think it's at the point where a lot of it is equivocal and the concern of offending someone is greater than actually engaging in such things.

Personally, I will open a door for a woman/elderly person or vacate my seat on the train or bus for a pregnant woman/elderly person but sometimes I find it difficult to gauge if it's appropriate because I have offended people for daring to ask. I can't help it--it's like an instinct.