1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Am I An Annoying Cisgender Person?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by MysteriousMadam, Jun 2, 2015.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

Page 1 of 2
  1. MysteriousMadam

    MysteriousMadam Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2014
    Messages:
    139
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hello everyone, happy Tuesday (!)
    I have a question that's been on my mind for a while. I would really like it if the trans* community answered this and gave me their input, but it's open to anyone who would like to answer!

    I'm a very feminine girl. I feel like I'm very close to, if not already, the stereotype. I wear make-up, I paint my nails with sparkly and shiny colors, my favorite color is pink, I hate bugs and always need someone to kill the spiders, I shave my legs and armpits, I like to go shopping, I like jewelry, all that stuff. You get the point. Anyway, I was born female and I enjoy being a girl. I like my femininity. I don't walk around declaring it or waving it in other peoples faces. But if someone looks at me, they can tell that I'm a girl and I'm really girly.
    I don't know...I feel insensitive almost. I think of a lot of trans boys who use binders and stuff like that, and I wonder if I annoy them because here I am clearly happy with my female body. Then there's trans girls who try really hard to embrace the more female behaviors, like shaving and wearing make-up. I remember watching one of Taylor Alesana's (RIP :frowning2: ) videos and she said it took her an hour and a half to get herself ready in the morning because she really tried to look like a girl It takes me 15 minutes at most just with eye make-up, it's really nothing for me because it's easy. My body is the way I want it to look, it works with me. There's obviously a cis privilege and advantage in life. I really try to to acknowledge--and yes, I do have to check it at times. I just feel like by kind of enjoying the fact that I'm female, born in the right body and with an understandable gender identity, I'm being insensitive and inconsiderate.

    I phrased this poorly, I don't know how to ask this question properly. If it's hard to understand or if it sounded transphobic or self-sympathetic, then I really apologize. It's not what I was going for. But I'd really appreciate answers, I have been thinking about this a lot lately.
    Thanks lovelies~
     
    #1 MysteriousMadam, Jun 2, 2015
  2. kageshiro

    kageshiro Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2012
    Messages:
    655
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    in your soul
    No, its completely fine for anyone to express their femininity or masculinity however much they desire. Dont worry about stereotypes because you are real and they arent. On the off chance someone has a problem with your gender expression, it's not your fault and their probably just a judgemental crazy person so who cares what they think
     
    #2 kageshiro, Jun 2, 2015
  3. Winter Maiden

    Winter Maiden
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2015
    Messages:
    116
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    There's nothing wrong with that n_n You're not hurting anyone and you're happy so it's all good :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Winter Maiden, Jun 2, 2015
  4. Tai

    Tai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2014
    Messages:
    867
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    CA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Nope, I myself am happy for those who love their bodies and am happy they don't have dysphoria problems. The only annoying cis people are the ignorant or hateful ones that have no idea what they're talking about when they spread their intolerance and ignorance.
     
    #4 Tai, Jun 2, 2015
  5. Miles16

    Miles16 Guest

    Feeling guilty about whatever privilege you do have does nothing to help someone next to you who does not have the same privilege - it just makes two people who aren't enjoying it. You don't appear to be in any danger of forgetting to check it, so you might as well enjoy it. Your post suggests that you are far from insensitive or inconsiderate about this matter. Don't tie yourself in knots, you're doing alright.
     
    #5 Miles16, Jun 2, 2015
  6. Winter Maiden

    Winter Maiden
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2015
    Messages:
    116
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Couldnt agree more :thumbsup:
     
    #6 Winter Maiden, Jun 2, 2015
  7. Christiaan

    Christiaan Guest

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2012
    Messages:
    745
    Likes Received:
    1
    I am a really fem guy, sexually, and I can tell you right now that people who trash-talk fems are assholes. People who talk about feminine women like that's all they are, something to be had and not people to be appreciated and understood, they're also assholes, users, abusers, and not worth your time. The world is full of people who treat fems like shit, in one way or the other, and not one of them has substance, as a person. Don't let other people's ignorance determine how you perceive yourself. You are fine, as a feminine woman, and you are within your rights to enjoy it.

    The only caution is simply this. Don't let people make you feel like that's all you are. It's not who you are, but it's a thing you enjoy being. It is a costume you put on when you want to have fun, not your entire identity. You obviously have a lot of substance, as a person, or you wouldn't be questioning yourself in this way. Just with the topic that you posted here, you showed that you have a lot to offer the world.

    ---------- Post added 2nd Jun 2015 at 04:12 PM ----------

    Look, many people would try to make me feel like I'm messed up in the head for enjoying the fact that I have a curvy, feminine body. There will always be people who will try to make you feel like you're defective just for how you are, including making you feel like you have some special privilege just because you DON'T have anything apparently "wrong" with you. You have a right to be just as neurotic as the rest of us.
     
    #7 Christiaan, Jun 2, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2015
  8. Acm

    Acm Guest

    No not at all. Sure, it sucks to be trans, but you shouldn't have to feel guilty because you aren't. The fact that you're happy with your gender is a good thing.
     
    #8 Acm, Jun 2, 2015
  9. Austin

    Austin
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2008
    Messages:
    3,172
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yes shame on you for being cis.
     
    #9 Austin, Jun 2, 2015
  10. MysteriousMadam

    MysteriousMadam Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2014
    Messages:
    139
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Was this sarcasm? Honest question.
     
    #10 MysteriousMadam, Jun 2, 2015
  11. Jinkies

    Jinkies
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Messages:
    2,321
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Your gender expression is never a good or bad thing. It's simply how you present. Privilege-checking need only happen when you find yourself not being able to see why transpeople say the things they do.
     
    #11 Jinkies, Jun 2, 2015
  12. PerfectlyNormal

    PerfectlyNormal
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2014
    Messages:
    437
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    No, but what you indirectly cause is annoying and, sometimes, bad; you cause jealousy.
     
    #12 PerfectlyNormal, Jun 2, 2015
  13. Batman

    Batman
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2013
    Messages:
    847
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Ontario
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Im not sure if I count as a member of the trans community, but I certainly don't give a shit how you express your gender :grin: You do you, MysteriousMadam
     
    #13 Batman, Jun 2, 2015
  14. Eveline

    Eveline
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2015
    Messages:
    1,082
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    home
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yes, the use of cis here is overly inclusive making it sarcastic. ie. Everyone who is cis should be ashamed of themselves for not being trans which means that 98% of the world or so should be ashamed of themselves.

    Don't worry, I can't imagine that many people who are trans would ever see you as annoying for being perfectly normal. (*hug*)
     
    #14 Eveline, Jun 2, 2015
  15. Kaiser

    Kaiser Guest

    Joined:
    May 10, 2014
    Messages:
    2,867
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    кєηтυ¢ку
    You got a head start.

    Don't worry. I'll get my titties, one day, and then...

    THE WORLD~!

    But seriously, you're you. I doubt you go out of your way to hurt others, or to undermine trans-folk. You're fine.
     
    #15 Kaiser, Jun 2, 2015
  16. Eveline

    Eveline
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2015
    Messages:
    1,082
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    home
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I wasn't happy with my last reply so I decided to write another one.

    I feel that this is an interesting question on how someone who is trans perceives someone who isn't. From my own perspective, I connect with the experience of girls that I see and often see through their eyes. If a girl enjoys being herself and embraces happily her femininity I feel happy for her. Seeing such girls actually gives me strength and motivation to continue moving forward as I see myself in them. There is a kinship and understanding of their experience so there is no feeling of envy or resentment. I would, on the other hand, feel hurt if they didn't accept me or see me as female when I present as such.

    It was nice of you to ask. (*hug*)
     
    #16 Eveline, Jun 3, 2015
  17. TENNYSON

    TENNYSON Guest

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2015
    Messages:
    1,024
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Connecticut
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Some people
    "Die Cis Scum" 4ever :thumbsup:
     
    #17 TENNYSON, Jun 3, 2015
  18. MysteriousMadam

    MysteriousMadam Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2014
    Messages:
    139
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Oh my god...this was too much.
    I shouldn't have laughed the way I did, but it was honestly too much.

    ---------- Post added 3rd Jun 2015 at 10:34 PM ----------
    Aw thanks so much :slight_smile: But honestly, take it from someone who has rather large ones, boobs are HORRIBLE.

    Thanks for all the kind words everyone, you don't even know how relieved I am right now.
     
    #18 MysteriousMadam, Jun 3, 2015
  19. Kaiser

    Kaiser Guest

    Joined:
    May 10, 2014
    Messages:
    2,867
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    кєηтυ¢ку
    Give me a cup or two of your's, and we'll both be winners.

    ^.~
     
    #19 Kaiser, Jun 3, 2015
  20. Pret Allez

    Pret Allez
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    6,785
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    No, sweetie (*hug*)

    What I saw was not you "checking privilege" but rather, having basic empathy (which is what I feel like people who use that expression really mean). You're considering how easy your life is in some respects that are more difficult for other people. And you're bringing that to us in a way that shows you care

    I'm not annoyed at all, and I just see your kindness.

    You keep being who you are, hon :3

    ~ Adrienne
     
    #20 Pret Allez, Jun 3, 2015
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 1 of 2