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I'm now an Eagle Scout, but I'm not sure how I feel about continuing with Scouting

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by SwimScotty, Jun 3, 2015.

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  1. SwimScotty

    SwimScotty
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    After a ten-year run in the Boy Scouts of America, I have finally completed the final step on my Journey to Eagle. It's honestly a rather bitter-sweet experience because I've grown to have mixed feelings about BSA over the past few years. As good as the program can be for kids, the fact that I would be kicked out now if they found out I'm bi kind of makes me hate them. On the other hand, I've had a lot of fun working with other people in Scouts, and I've met a ton of great people and done a lot of really fun stuff.

    I want to be able to continue with it and maybe get trained as a merit badge counselor for some of the aquatics badges, but I know that they could kick me out if they were to decide they want to, or if I let slip my sexuality around the wrong person, even though I'm seen by lots of people who know me through Scouts as "the ideal Scout" and someone who is liked by everyone. I have a bit of a moral objection to the organization because of that, but I'm not sure whether it outweighs the good I could do by continuing to stay with them.

    I'm stuck in a moral dilemma here, and I really have no idea how to resolve it. Any thoughts? My best friend is also an Eagle Scout, and he knows about me, so he might be able to help me out a bit, but I want some advice from people who are on the other side of the bar.
     
    #1 SwimScotty, Jun 3, 2015
  2. QueerTransEnby

    QueerTransEnby
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    Re: I'm now an Eagle Scout, but I'm not sure how I feel about continuing with Scoutin

    I don't know what to do, but I am sorry that you have to hide that part of yourself. I despise the discrimination and the stereotype that gay/bi men are more likely to molest kids. That is so inflammatory and false.
     
    #2 QueerTransEnby, Jun 3, 2015
  3. blackhatguy

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    Re: I'm now an Eagle Scout, but I'm not sure how I feel about continuing with Scoutin

    Aren't they okay with gay scouts now? I thought that's what the decision was, and bi's close enough.

    Scouting looks good on a resume. Eagle's great by itself, but continuing in scouting shows you're even more dedicated than a lot of other Eagles. I was finished with scouting before I earned the rank, barely made it.

    I think you'd be good either way. You could keep quiet about your sexuality, stay with scouting for a while longer. Or you could move on, look for jobs, internships, colleges, scholarships, etc.

    Or you could take it easy, that's an option too.
     
    #3 blackhatguy, Jun 3, 2015
  4. ClimbHikeBike

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    Re: I'm now an Eagle Scout, but I'm not sure how I feel about continuing with Scoutin

    First, congratulations! As a fellow Eagle, I know how much hard work and perseverance it takes to make it all the way, so well done.

    In short, I say go for it. On the whole, the BSA does provide youth with fun and valuable experiences, and if you think you would enjoy helping other Scouts on their own journeys by being a merit badge counselor, then you should. You can of course decide not to because you disagree with the policy (a totally valid choice), or you can say, "No, fuck you, I'm proud to be bi and proud to be an Eagle Scout, and I'm not going to let your backwards policies lessen what I or others get out of the program."

    Also, you may not be kicked out if you come out to your troop. Troops have a lot of power over how they enforce the policies of the national council. What's the prevailing view in yours? It may not be so bad. As an example – albeit an extreme one – I once encountered a combined troop and Venturing crew that was totally co-ed and couldn't care less if anyone was LGBT. This is of course not your situation, since I assume you'd have less of a dilemma if it were, but I thought it was a very cool group :slight_smile:

    Best of luck whatever your choice, and again, congrats!
     
    #4 ClimbHikeBike, Jun 3, 2015
  5. SiennaFire

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    Re: I'm now an Eagle Scout, but I'm not sure how I feel about continuing with Scoutin

    Former Life Scout here.

    In reading your post, I get the sense that you resent the BSA because of their policies towards bi/gays but that you also enjoy scouting and feel that you could do good by staying on.

    There's no right answer here - you'll need to figure this out for yourself based on what is important to you.

    • You could decide that your desire to do good outweighs your dislike of BSA policies and choose to serve in secrecy.
    • You could decide that your dislike of BSA policies outweighs your desire to do good and choose to walk away.
    • You could decide to take a stand and fight for what you believe in and choose to come out and see where the chips land.
     
    #5 SiennaFire, Jun 4, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2015
  6. DMark69

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    Re: I'm now an Eagle Scout, but I'm not sure how I feel about continuing with Scoutin

    Blackhatguy, the BSA decided that gay scouts are ok, but once you become an adult, you cannot be bi or gay and be involved in the organization.

    I also believe that the organization does a lot of good, and I believe they will eventually come around. I know the issue of gay adults is supposed to be discussed this year at National. Hopefully it resolves it self at that meeting.
     
    #6 DMark69, Jun 4, 2015
  7. blackhatguy

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    Re: I'm now an Eagle Scout, but I'm not sure how I feel about continuing with Scoutin


    I did not know that. When it was a more public issue, I wasn't worried about the adult side of it.

    So basically, if you're a queer scout and 12:00 am on your 18th birthday rolls around, not only is it too late to finish your Eagle but you're also an ex-scout?
     
    #7 blackhatguy, Jun 4, 2015
  8. Sienrar

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    Re: I'm now an Eagle Scout, but I'm not sure how I feel about continuing with Scoutin

    I quit scouting after our troop decided it was a good idea to have each group mixed up with a person of every age. It makes no sense! I don't want to be with 17 year-olds and 18 year-olds, I want to be with kids I can actually relate to!
     
    #8 Sienrar, Jun 4, 2015
  9. Californiacoast

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    Re: I'm now an Eagle Scout, but I'm not sure how I feel about continuing with Scoutin

    As a gay Eagle Scout from Mississippi, I spent my whole time in the Scouts in the Closet. However, I pushed through and finished, and I am glad that I did.

    On my first job interview after college, I was flown from Tennessee to Seattle and met with the Vice President of the Company. He asked me, "Of all the accomplishment you have done so far in your life, which are you most proud of and why?"

    I told him it was completing my Eagle Scout in my Senior year of high school because I was so busy with football and so many projects, but I knew how important it was to finish something I had started.

    They hired me over alot of other candidates and when I asked later why, the Vice President said it was because of my answer on the Eagle Scout question.

    Just saying...
     
    #9 Californiacoast, Jun 4, 2015
  10. SwimScotty

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    Re: I'm now an Eagle Scout, but I'm not sure how I feel about continuing with Scoutin

    Wow, I'm glad to see several other Eagles on here!

    @BlackHatGuy:
    Technically, if you're still in the closet, they can't kick you out. The rule reads, "While the BSA does not proactively inquire about sexual orientation of employees, volunteers, or members, we do not grant membership to individuals who are open or avowed homosexuals or who engage in behavior that would become a distraction to the mission of the BSA," with the addendum: "No youth may be denied membership in the Boy Scouts of America on the basis of sexual orientation or preference alone." Basically, it means that they can't ask you up front, but if you're over 18 and they find out through some means (social media, someone who knows you, etc.), they can send you a nasty letter and tell you to fuck off.

    @ClimbHikeBike:
    My troop, at the moment, consists of two "active" youth: my brother and one other. Another boy and I just completed our Eagles and aged out. Nobody in my troop knows I'm bi. As far as I know, the only Scouting-related people who know about my sexuality is my best friend/crush (who is also an Eagle) from another troop (and maybe his dad, if he's figured it out yet) and a friend from another troop who is also gay. I'm still afraid to tell anyone else who knows me from Scouts because of the possibility that it could cost me my job at camp; I'm sure there are a ton of parents who would have a problem with a bisexual male lifeguard supervising their kids (even though I'm sure they would have no problem with a girl), and I don't know how the directors would feel about the issue.

    But I think I will take your advice and stick with it. I may try to come out gradually to a few more people and see how that works. I am still afraid that it could cause problems, especially since my specialty is aquatics, but I think it's worth sticking with it until they take action. I could be totally overreacting; I really have no idea how the camp people or anyone else would feel about my sexuality.

    Thank you guys for your advice! I've been sort of struggling with this issue since I started my Eagle work, and it's nice to have it partially resolved, if not entirely.
     
    #10 SwimScotty, Jun 4, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2015
  11. blackhatguy

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    Re: I'm now an Eagle Scout, but I'm not sure how I feel about continuing with Scoutin

    Well then, technically you'd be good, since you're bisexual, not homosexual.

    In all seriousness though, good luck, sounds like this should work out well for you
     
    #11 blackhatguy, Jun 4, 2015
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