Hi I'm David. I'm gay. I've fantasized for a long time about the day when I'd get the courage to wear my beaded rainbow necklace at the mall without taking it off or hiding it if I got nervous. I finally did it, at not only one mall, but at two. It was exciting and liberating at the same time. I felt exposed but totally thrilled, and I plan to do it again. I've worn a rainbow bracelet before, but would usually hide it when I felt I was in too public a place. I was still very nervous, but it felt so good to finally express it in such a public way -- to show others that yes, I'm a homosexual, and no I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm attracted the same sex. A rainbow necklace is definitely way more noticeable than a bracelet, and wearing it publicly was a step in the process of becoming openly gay. Though I wonder if most people know what a rainbow necklace really means. Do most people assume that a guy wearing one is gay?
Congratulations! In my experience wearing a rainbow bracelet, no one has ever commented on it. Most people will probably not make the connection, but other LGBTQ+ people might.
Hello David and welcome to EC. And congratulations on publicly identifying as gay by wearing you rainbow necklace. I don't think it matters if other people notice it or not, or know what it means. The important thing is that you are making a statement about who you are.
Thank you. Did/does anyone else experience an exciting, nervous thrill whenever you put on your rainbow bracelet/necklace and reveal your homosexuality for everyone to see? It's quite liberating revealing "the big secret" (at least for me), and I feel it will help me in the process of coming out. I'm pretty sure some people suspected I was gay. In the past I denied it. I was ashamed to be gay. But not anymore. By taking these little steps I've become more and more comfortable revealing my sexuality over the past few years. Shame has evolved into pride. I'm a homosexual and I want everyone to know.
That's a great step forward. If no one understands it and it's a lgbti community thing then that's a great way to find people in the community and if people do not what it means it is a great way to show people that there are of it people in the community and we are not hiding. It is also great for those who disapprove as it forces them to have conversations on the topic either with you or with others when they discuss your bracelet. Maybe more of us ought to be wearing these bracelets, promoting education and community connectedness. Thanks David.
Well done and congratulations on the great step forward. As for if people know what it means or not, I'm sure that most can guess or get that idea, even though just because someone wears rainbow attire, doesn't mean they are gay or part of the LGBT+ community. Still, most people at least would probably catch on, so I'm sure it wasn't in vain. Good job and good luck on your future progress. Take your time too, and only do it when you are ready. As long as you are comfortable, the time frame doesn't matter, so don't feel rushed, even though you don't seem to feel that way. Thought I would mention it though, just in case.
The first time I wore my bracelet I was very nervous and I was prepared for negative comments, but no one really even noticed. It felt nice to be able to make a statement about who I am.
I can remember similar feelings. Except for me, it was a T-shirt, a pretty subtle one, with a hand-painted squiggle across it that was rainbow in color. It was rainbow enough that gay people would figure it out, but subtle enough that others might be oblivious. But it was still really nerve wracking/exciting the first time I wore it. I had (probably still have) another shirt, with two interlocking male symbols (the circle with the arrow coming out of it) and "Ain't no time for hate." As I got a little more brave, I wore that one. Once, I was at Sears, and one of my friends observed that this guy was staring and staring at my shirt (not when I was looking in his direction)... and eventually got a sort of disgusted look and walked away... so I guess he figured it out. But it didn't bother me, because by that point, I was getting a lot more comfortable with it. I think it's awesome you took that first step. And each step after gets a little easier.
Aww! That's awesome! I think if people are looking carefully, they'll notice, but I think the most important thing is that you know it ^.^ Rock it~!
congrats! haha im really jelous you have the confidence to do this! my plan when i get to uni is to try to be openly gay...has to be from the start due to whats stopping me from saying it now (fear of people changing the way they think of me)
This will be kind of long. I apologize in advance. But it's the story of how I got that confidence. Gaining that confidence was a long term process, at least for me. After accepting that I was a homosexual, I began to experience the desire to let other people know that I was gay. I was so scared. The very first time I "came out" (if you can call it that), was at Barnes and Noble. I went in quickly, looked around to see if I anyone was watching, grabbed an issue of "The Advocate," nervously took it to the counter, put it face down, bought it and got out of there as quickly as possible. It was back when The Advocate had the "national gay and lesbian magazine" caption on the front cover. The cashier, a woman, noticed it I think, because she gave me an odd look. I went back a few weeks later and did it again, and then again. After a while I got more bold and started putting the magazines with the covers face up on the counter when I bought them. I started buying OUT magazine and other racier gay magazines, along with bicycle magazines with guys in bike shorts on the front covers (the first time I realized I might be gay was when I got sexually aroused by an advertisement with a photo of a guy in spandex in some magazine. I'm attracted to hot, fit men with nice bodies and butts, wearing tight shiny spandex). After doing that for awhile I stepped up the daring and would approach the book store employees (mostly female, unless I suspected a male employee might be gay) and ask if there was a "gay and lesbian section" in the store. I started buying gay books, anything from essays to "The Gay Man's Kama Sutra." When I took that one to the counter the girl behind the counter looked shocked at first, then she smiled and said her friend has the same book. I asked if he was gay. She said yes. From there, if I was looking for a particular gay book or just wanted to re-experience the thrill of being openly gay in public, I started introducing myself as a homosexual before asking if whatever book I happened to be looking for was in stock. I know this bothers some straight people, they find it annoying, but I find it liberating to reveal myself up front. Next I bought a pink triangle pride pin and a rainbow triangle ring and wore it to the store whenever I went there. I bought a bracelet and started wearing that discreetly. I then branched out and, looking for rainbow jewelry, started going to jewelry stores. I would usually say something to the effect of "I'm a homosexual and I'm planning to come out and become openly gay, do you carry any rainbow themed jewelry?" I started wearing my bracelet whenever I did this. Finally I bought a rainbow necklace, put it on and walked into a very busy Barnes and Noble wearing it in plain site. I know some people knew what it meant, because I noticed a woman in line staring at me. I started doing this more and more in public and now I'm at the point where I have the confidence, the pride and the desire to wear my rainbow necklace openly at a public mall, for everyone to see. I continue to introduce myself as a homosexual (it's the first thing I say every time) when I'm being out and proud. Recently I joined a group for making new friends (it's mostly a female oriented group that goes out on the town to attend fun events, or hosts them. I guess I'm "one of the girls" as some people put it. I am completely out to the group and wear my rainbow necklace whenever I attend an event. I also joined a gay choir to be even more visibly out (and to meet potential partners). I fantasize about how thrilling its going to be when I perform with the choir for the first time. The choir is openly gay. The audience will know that we're homosexuals. It's going to be so exciting. I can't wait. As for telling people I know or who I'm close to, I'm not quite to that point yet. But I have decided to come out of the closet to my ex girlfriend (yes I used to date girls back when I wasn't being true to myself) after she befriended me on facebook (we're just friends, nothing more). I'm going to tell her face to face, in person, perhaps over coffee that I'm gay. I'm going to wear my rainbow necklace to make it easier to bring up the conversation - maybe she will even ask. It is a big step for me because her cousin was my best friend's wife and she knows people that I know. My best friend's brother is openly gay and she knows about him but I don't know her feelings on the matter of homosexuality. I'm going to ask if she remembers him and then tell her that I've become like him, that Jason (my friend's brother) and I have something in common. When she asks what that's when I'll come out and tell her I'm a homosexual. It's risky because she might tell someone we both know and I'll be outed, but my desire to come out to her is stronger than my fear, and I'm going to do it. I'm excited just thinking about it. It will be another step in the process of becoming openly gay. I'm enjoying being gay to the fullest. Good luck and I hope you gain the confidence to be yourself in public.
I wish I had the confidence to tell shop workers that I was gay, so I could look for some rainbow jewelry to wear to tell the world that I am gay and proud. But hearing this story has made me think that I should resume looking for rainbow jewelry to wear and show my pride. I also want to get noticed by other gay guys. I have had a few guys stare into my eyes like they wanted me. But I want to show that I'm gay so that those guys think just because I look away sometimes doesn't mean I'm not interested, it's sometimes cuteness nerves kicking in. I want to make myself cuter for the person and I also don't want them to catch me smiling. Yes, finally I don't force myself to smile, it is coming naturally and it happens only around boys, so I really am boy crazy.
I know exactly what you mean, every time someone looks into my eyes I feel like I'm doing something wrong looking at them and blush and turn away. It's so annoying and I can't stop it.
Usually if I see someone wearing something that is a rainbow such as a necklace bracket shirt etc usually I assume they're gay because that's what it represents. But that's great that you were able. To wear that in public it's kinda a first step to be who you truly are and show everyone else.
