More specifically, dumb questions you get from straight people, why they aren't always actually dumb, and how you answer them. I'll start. Question #1: "What makes you attracted to the same sex?" This is actually an understandable question, since straight people try to imagine themselves dating a person of the same sex and get an automatic "eww" reaction; it really is confusing how another guy might end up behaving differently. Frankly, most of us who don't have a deep scientific background have to say, "I don't know." Otherwise, we might stammer for a while, blush a lot, realize we're sounding creepy, and then completely choke. Easiest answer, I've decided: "I am not sure, but sometimes I sit down and talk to a guy, and we just connect with each other. Sometimes, it seems like my partners are chosen for me. I and another guy might go somewhere together, and I start seeing things in a more magical, poetic sort of light. Other times, I just see a guy, and I feel a sort of hunger that I am not entirely sure that I should act upon. I know that I like the other way better. In the end, I am guided by instinct, just like you." So really, just the usual questions you hear that seem, on the surface, to be silly but turn out to be hard to answer and not really that silly after all.
Answer: Neither, last time I checked we both had a penis. X3 Is there a lesbian version of this question? or is it mianly one for gay men?
"Actually, some LGBT, both gay and lesbian, think of themselves in terms of conventional gender roles. Others really just don't fit into this type of relationship, and neither do many heterosexual men and women. Although, for my part, I assume a more 'feminine' role in most relationships, not all gay men behave this way, nor should they. They should be themselves." Is that a good try?
Well sure there is top/bottom ( which is what the person is really asking generally ) but in that sense what you choose has nothing to do with 'being the girl' as for the 'roles' part of your answer. I still wouldn't consider that 'being the girl' even in hetero relationships in the modern time more and more women are taking on the roles historically held by men and more men are staying at home to do what was traditionally the 'wife's' duties.
Then perhaps it would be easier to say that both gay and straight people have a variety of ways in which they see gender figuring into their relationships, if at all? I think that stressing diversity would really be helpful in communication.
Yeah, lesbians get this question too (I have) just switch which is the girl to which the guy. Also, I 100% agree with your second post that this makes no sense in regards to relationships, because most straight couples don't have them either. Take my parents for example; My Mom works and my Dad's the stay at home parent. My Mom is more active and sporty while my Dad likes to talk a lot and gets his feelings hurt easier. My Mom gets obsessed with sports on TV and shouts at the TV while my Dad loves cheesy romance and talking about feelings. So does that make him the "girl"? No. Because people don't fit in boxes like that. Plus It's sexist to both men and women because it defines us as a stereotype.
I agree completely also I figured that was it. Well I'm sure you can guess what my answer would be in some alternate universe where I was a lesbian X3
Yes. It's "which one of you is the man?" to which I say, there are two women in this relationship, no men, unless you count the strap on.
Someone at school once asked me, "Why did you decide to be gay?" so then I attempted to explain to him that it wasn't exactly a choice; it was something I just realized. Couldn't tell whether he understood. Also, my mom asked me when I came out if I liked girly girls or boyish girls. When I said girly, she said that's what she thought because apparently I 'dress like a guy'. o.o She's quite heteronormative in her way of thinking. A friend two years ago asked me what I like about girls. I stumbled awkwardly over my words for a while before saying something like, "I think everything about them is amazing." It seems that wasn't enough of an explanation because she went on to ask me questions like, "What kind of girls do you like, exactly?" "What do you think is most attractive about me?" and even "Do you like girls because they have boobs?" o.o It didn't annoy me though, because she was a friend and I had just come out to her; it was interesting, at least, to answer her questions. She later admitted that she was curious because she'd been thinking lately that she might be bisexual. She was always one to ask interesting questions. :lol: I often hear people say things like, "So who's the guy in the relationship?"
