bi then gay? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Dazed · 8th Dec 2008, 08:12 PM

ok so for the last 3 years since i came out i hated labels. it was easier to say i was bi then explaining that to people.

for the last 2 years i was with a guy, nothing serious just for fun haha if you know what i mean.
we broke it off...well i did since he had been back with his ex girlfriend for 2 months and didnt bother to tell me but anyway i ramble...my point is i started talking to a guy i dated my first year of high school...we tried to "have fun" and i felt nothing. at all. he is an cute-ish guy but when we kissed it had about the same amount of excitement as watching paint dry.

then i started to notice i hardly look at guys anymore. i was just wondering if any other bi people ever stoped liking one gender after being bi for so long?

Hoppip · 8th Dec 2008, 08:13 PM

I did the whole testing-the-waters-by-calling-it-bisexuality thing. Also, where I was, bi was a step up from gay, so it was a better "label" to fall in. But I think it happens a lot. It's just sexual confusion, ja?

Tim · 8th Dec 2008, 10:50 PM

A lot of people actually consider themselves bi at one point, then realize they're gay. I went through that, but it lasted like a week at the most :P

Then there's ppl like my friend who think they're bi then decide they're straight *Shrug*

Vector · 8th Dec 2008, 11:24 PM

I did it. Lasted for months, if not just over a year.
It takes time to get comfortable with the idea of being gay if it's not something you've "known" your whole life, or it's not something generally well known or accepted within your community. Labelling yourself bi gives you that bit of space and time you may need to grow familiar with the new territory, open dialogue, etc.

Apocalypte · 9th Dec 2008, 02:16 AM

I originally came out as bi when I came out to my friends about 4 years ago. Realised about 1-2 years afterwards that I'm really just not attracted to men at all.

Bunny · 9th Dec 2008, 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vector

I did it. Lasted for months, if not just over a year.
It takes time to get comfortable with the idea of being gay if it's not something you've "known" your whole life, or it's not something generally well known or accepted within your community. Labelling yourself bi gives you that bit of space and time you may need to grow familiar with the new territory, open dialogue, etc.

Exactly! It's really common, lots of people go through it.

Dazed · 9th Dec 2008, 06:44 AM

its good to know im not losing my mind then.
i have no problem if i only like girls. girls are easier to get understand then guys ha.

it might be a phase or something but i dont think i see myself with a guy again.

Derek the Wolf · 9th Dec 2008, 05:37 PM

>_>
Although I know it's a common thing, it's always really bothered me.
I am bisexual. And I will always be bisexual. Yet SOMEHOW a lot of gay people think I'm in denial and I'm really gay. Truth is, I am attracted to both genders, it's always been that way, and it's gonna stay that way.
Sorry for the rant, but this is one of those things that really bothers me.

Dazed · 9th Dec 2008, 05:54 PM

i understand where youre coming from.
just like alot of my friends bi people are really whoreish and wanna sleep with everyone. not true at all though.

>_<

8th Dec 2008, 08:12 PM	#1
Dazed Banned Gender: ladyfella Orientation: MaddyBensexual Out Status: out to all :] Location: Richmond VA Age: 24 Posts: 2,189 Join Date: Mar 2007	bi then gay? ok so for the last 3 years since i came out i hated labels. it was easier to say i was bi then explaining that to people. for the last 2 years i was with a guy, nothing serious just for fun haha if you know what i mean. we broke it off...well i did since he had been back with his ex girlfriend for 2 months and didnt bother to tell me but anyway i ramble...my point is i started talking to a guy i dated my first year of high school...we tried to "have fun" and i felt nothing. at all. he is an cute-ish guy but when we kissed it had about the same amount of excitement as watching paint dry. then i started to notice i hardly look at guys anymore. i was just wondering if any other bi people ever stoped liking one gender after being bi for so long?

8th Dec 2008, 08:13 PM	#2
Hoppip look at the good i do Full Member Gender: Lv. 18 ♂ Orientation: Water / Dragon Out Status: Uncommon Location: Johto Posts: 1,562 Join Date: May 2008	Re: bi then gay? I did the whole testing-the-waters-by-calling-it-bisexuality thing. Also, where I was, bi was a step up from gay, so it was a better "label" to fall in. But I think it happens a lot. It's just sexual confusion, ja? __________________ KUDOS ME. I made myshelf pregnant.

8th Dec 2008, 10:50 PM	#3
Tim Psycho Glitter Btch Full Member Gender:* Guy, Unless Life Was a Horrible April Fools Joke. Orientation: Gay/Asexual/Confusing to Explain Out Status: Armed and Fabulous! XD Location: California Age: 23 Posts: 7,381 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: bi then gay? A lot of people actually consider themselves bi at one point, then realize they're gay. I went through that, but it lasted like a week at the most :P Then there's ppl like my friend who think they're bi then decide they're straight Shrug __________________ Rawr! :3 ~The Stalker User Known As Tim~ Rawr! :3 EC's Sailor Star Healer, Oxymoron and All. Star Sensitive Inferno! Sailor Starlight, Stage On! [Vic] 7:49 pm: I keep my pants off in public.

8th Dec 2008, 11:24 PM	#4
Vector Well Known Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Family, Friends, and anyone that asks Location: Bendigo, VIC - Australia Age: 23 Posts: 122 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: bi then gay? I did it. Lasted for months, if not just over a year. It takes time to get comfortable with the idea of being gay if it's not something you've "known" your whole life, or it's not something generally well known or accepted within your community. Labelling yourself bi gives you that bit of space and time you may need to grow familiar with the new territory, open dialogue, etc.

9th Dec 2008, 02:16 AM	#5
Apocalypte Ytse Jamming. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Dublin, Ireland Age: 27 Posts: 2,217 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: bi then gay? I originally came out as bi when I came out to my friends about 4 years ago. Realised about 1-2 years afterwards that I'm really just not attracted to men at all. __________________ "I like my beer cold...my TV loud...and my homosexuals flaming." - Homer Simpson

9th Dec 2008, 06:44 AM	#7
Dazed Banned Gender: ladyfella Orientation: MaddyBensexual Out Status: out to all :] Location: Richmond VA Age: 24 Posts: 2,189 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: bi then gay? its good to know im not losing my mind then. i have no problem if i only like girls. girls are easier to get understand then guys ha. it might be a phase or something but i dont think i see myself with a guy again.

9th Dec 2008, 05:37 PM	#8
Derek the Wolf Furry Overlord Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Majority Location: Illinois Age: 20 Posts: 1,325 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: bi then gay? >_> Although I know it's a common thing, it's always really bothered me. I am bisexual. And I will always be bisexual. Yet SOMEHOW a lot of gay people think I'm in denial and I'm really gay. Truth is, I am attracted to both genders, it's always been that way, and it's gonna stay that way. Sorry for the rant, but this is one of those things that really bothers me. __________________

9th Dec 2008, 05:54 PM	#9
Dazed Banned Gender: ladyfella Orientation: MaddyBensexual Out Status: out to all :] Location: Richmond VA Age: 24 Posts: 2,189 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: bi then gay? i understand where youre coming from. just like alot of my friends bi people are really whoreish and wanna sleep with everyone. not true at all though. >_<