I Need a Boyfriend

If it's any consolation, I didn't seriously date until after high school. Probably more so from a strict religious upbringing. I've been with my husband for 18 years. Which, for me, is more important than being a bit of a late bloomer.

I know it's difficult to be on your own when it seems everyone else is coupled up. What helps is to get yourself involved in other things. Do some volunteering. Join some clubs. Get an after school job. Take up a new hobby. Often, when we're focused on something else, that's when a special someone comes into our lives. I'm not the only one who adores geek girls & guys. I wish you success.:icon_bigg

 

I had most of my firsts -- first kiss, first relationship, first date, first time sex -- after high school. And I'm turning out just fine. There's nothing wrong with you at all. Dating for the sake of dating -- well, you can do it. It shouldn't hurt. But you shouldn't have to to feel good about yourself.

Plenty of people feel something's missing when they see people around them with significant others. Part of it's jealousy. In your case, part of it is curiosity (which is normal!) and low self-esteem (which is also normal, actually, but you're better off without it). You're not a loser.

Men can be just as amazing and lovely as women. But you don't need one, it's true. I believe you have to be happy being single, and balanced, and comfortable with yourself, before you can be happy and comfortable in a healthy relationship.

 

So you're looking for a boyfriend I see that any time you know I'm gonna be there. Lol you remember that song in Nickelodeon? Who sang that song? I remember it was like 4 guys in the band or something.

 

I need a boyfriend too.

 

I'm in the same spot... well I don't want to say 'need' but I would very much like one. I was in a distant relationship but um... I don't really want to count that because we seriously just acted like we were friends, kinda how like every relationship worked out in Middle School.

Haha I have been told the same exact thing, but I still want one. Our own desire beats everything else I guess.

 

yeah... well... would want but... someone super-humanly open-minded and understanding in tht case sigh...

 

I need a boyfriend, or a girlfriend. I haven't dated a girl in over a year, and I haven't dated a guy ever! Oh well, just gotta keep looking:icon_bigg

 

so am i...

i desperately need one at the moment. firm hand, understanding and open minded are preferred. But i'll be cool with almost everyone at this point/ I've been single for far too long

 

If you need a boy/girlfriend, you won't get a boy/girlfriend.

Desperation is a serial killer when it comes to attracting others. And using 'need' in the same sentence as 'boyfriend', is definitely desperation.

You may attract a fellow, but the question is going to be, are they genuine or do they see an easy exploit? With an attitude like that, it's going to be noticeable.

As hard as this may be, you need to focus on other things. School, a job, hobbies, spending time and generating vibe with folks. Do push-ups--

Spoiler

No, seriously. It's theoretically simple to incorporate.

It was difficult to get into and to keep at, but every moment I think, "I'm bored!" or "There is nothing to do...", I'll do some kind of activity. Push-ups are the go-to. If I think of something better to do, I'll do that -- except not doing push-ups, LOL.

Walk around the block and think about life. That way, you're always being productive -- and this is key.

It becomes easier and you start seeing results. Your stamina increases, you aren't as bored, your body is looking kind of sexy, and so on and so forth.

This builds confidence. Confidence is what you only need a little seedling of. Find it from something, even an assortment of little accomplishments. Hell, some days just smiling is hard to do. Add that to your accomplishment tally.

Plant that into something you enjoy doing. Remember, you already have the chiseled body of a Greek deity from jogging or you greet folks with a contagious smile, so 'being active' and 'friendly' is just handed to you. Do you like to sing? Sing as you walk or jog. Do something you like and you'll feel better--

When you feel better, you do better. When you do better, you live better.

And that is when folks gravitate towards you, like pieces of metal. You have a magnetic aura... ha, yes, I got to use a pun seriously.

You can now sort through friends or that cutie over there. Almost everybody wants to be around a productive and positive person.

After school special aside... don't stress yourself too much. Things come.

Focus on you right now, build yourself up, and a lot of these feelings and priorities will shift.

You're sensitive, but that just means you're potentially very kind and loving. Place productive on top of that, you'll handle this with no problem.

You have to present properly for princesses and princes, put a little pristine in that lean. Basically, love yourself so much... you have no choice but to give it away to others. You have to have -- and this is illogically annoying -- what you want; in this case, love.

The right kind of person isn't going to love for two. Sometimes, sure, life isn't always peaches and sunshine. One of us can carry the slack. But in general, there needs to be just an investment of understanding. I suspect you're--

Feeling lonely.
Drift off to sleep in a too-empty bed.
Detest nobody to snuggle up with and talk about how fucking awesome today was.

I get that. I'm the same way.

Ask yourself:
"Would I date myself?"

That is a harsh standard to compare to, considering we often times are our worst critics. But you'll find your answer there.

You probably would like somebody intelligent enough to have a conversation with, somebody who was considerate of and towards you, doesn't mind lazy days under the covers, and has something going on in their lives. 'Boring' probably isn't at the top of your most desired attributes, neither is 'jerk' or 'talks-too-loud-and-always-over-you'.

Are you giving to another what you would like/expect/demand from them?

Mm...

Love yourself, and give unto the world what you're worth.

<3

 

If you want a relationship before wanting an individual person, you'll find that the person will never be good enough.

Look for an individual whom you can really love and have fun with rather than an idea into which you'll try to make someone fit.

 

I did not get into my first real relationship until i was 22 and that lasted until my bf died this year. In all honesty what helped to find my one true love was not worrying about relationship anymore. I tried dating sites and nothing was working. I decided to take my mind off it and all i sudden i get a dating site message from a really great guy. Goes from a drunken one night stand to a committed relationship. It happened very fast and was so great. I am getting into online dating again since it is a small town i live in and it is not going that well yet but i remain hopeful cause it was the same situation I was in last time and it just takes patience and doing thing with your time that gets your mind off it. That is just my perspective on it to simply not to worry about it too much and it will happen.

 

I had my first boyfriend when I was 17. It was great. Then we started arguing more, grew into separate lifestyles and he discovered personal ads on the internet and developed and very bad lying habit.
What I'm trying to say is that relationships actually aren't all they're cracked up to be. Even if they don't have problems. Good relationships are nice, I enjoyed mine when it was still going good. But being single has actually been really fun too. I can plan things ahead with friends or plan holidays without having to think about whether I was meant to be hanging with my partner then. I used to like keeping in touch since we didn't live together, but now I'm enjoying not having too. I like the freedom. I felt exactly like you when I was in highschool, but you're young and you don't want to be tied down with anything too serious just yet.

Enjoy being single. Who knows, maybe a year for now you'll meet someone who you spend your whole life with. So try not to take this single time for granted.

You don't need anyone. You are enough! Just focus on making friends, finding hobbies and interests you like and enjoying life without a boyfriend, and the right person will come when you least expect it! It's never a good idea to try and find somebody when you feel like you need a partner, your judgement will be off, and you may end up with somebody who you regret getting with months down the line.