A friend I trusted, was actively crushing on, and confided in betrayed me today. I've been a great friend to her (the friend I would want to have). I've defended her and boosted her. I've done everything she ever asked me to do and I ALWAYS check on her to make sure she's okay. I've never judged her or anything. We've been friends for almost 3 months but we see each other almost everyday. She knows I'm a lesbian because I told her and she said that she loved gay people and believes that we're born this way and that she has gay family members so all was going fantastic. We got hang out for the 1st time Friday at a bar (she's a singer so she performed). Everything was fantastic (except she has a bf but no biggie) until today. She made a comment to another person and that comment was the following, "Have you seen OITNB?, It's nasty just nasty...so much lesbian activity going on in it...not a show to watch with kids around." What the actual fuck?!?! I was so shocked at first, like I could not believe she actually said that. Then a avalanche of emotions just poured in. Anger, rage, sadness, heart-break, shock, extreme anger was what I was feeling. I stormed out immediately. The worst thing about it is this friend of mine is also my college professor. I feel so betrayed and backstabbed. I'm not even going to school for the next 3 days. It's hard enough not having any lgbt friends down here in the South and then you befriend ppl who you think accepts you and then BOOM! I guess the joke is on me....
Aww :/ As someone who has been both betrayed(I've been betrayed to a lot higher extent), and someone who lives in the South(But I do genuinely know people who are accepting; but do know some jerks.) I can say I have a sense to your feelings right now. X_X It sucks when people go back on their words like that. Have you even tried to speak to her after that? Did you confront her about what she said? Maybe you could tell her how you felt and try to mend things. I certainly don't think it's a very wise thing to miss school over things like these - unless you don't have anything else imperative planned. But in any case; (*hug*)
wow she should a keep her options to her self. how mess up. no just talk to her about how you feel. and if she a true friend she'd understand.
Sorry but when it comes to trust and relationships no matter the type you have only 1 chance. Sure I can let certain things slide but not broken trust and offensive comments when you are fully aware of your friend's feelings. I have not tried speaking to her and don't plan on it. I shouldn't even have to address it. I just need time away for a few days. I'm going to ATL to experience what it's like to be around ppl like me. You know how superman goes to the sun to recharge? Well I'm going to ATL to recharge my rainbow lol
I've been betrayed many, many times. My friends support me, but they don't support my sexuality. They were raised to have certain beliefs, and I can't change that. Plus, they're straight. They're not into anything gay or lesbian related. Keep this in mind. Ok, she's your friend. People are not always what they seem, but if you two were close, it's safe to assume she didn't mean to hurt you. I recommend talking it out. OITNB is chock-full of nudity and other very mature themes, by the way; it definitely isn't for kids. It's unfortunate that the example she used to back this up was the lesbian one, but it is what it is. As I said, I'm sure she did not mean to hurt you. I understand you were offended, and if you talk it out, you should let her know this.
Some people just aren't worth having in your life period. I'm sorry that happened to you. There are plenty of two faced people in this world unfortunately. Was she saying the lesbian activity was gross? Either way she wasn't speaking of it in a positive light. That's unfortunate. There are shows that kids shouldn't be watching though, that's true. Ha recharge your rainbow!
You have "friends" that don't support your sexuality?? How should I address it? ---------- Post added 16th Jun 2015 at 11:37 AM ---------- I'm not sure what she was saying. All I know is I didn't react to it too well so I guess I saw it as negative.
She did not say what she said personally to harm you. Her conversation with you was most likely not really on her mind at the time. It was careless, and it made her come across as probably more two-faced than she actually is. She's going to eventually have to learn this sort of thing, so she can learn to pay better attention. This kind of inconsistency is what gets otherwise well-meaning politicians into trouble. As you can attest, people tend to judge others pretty harshly for not being consistent in their views. It comes across as Machiavellianism, which is a serious "Dark Triad" trait. It doesn't always mean that, but it's a red flag that causes people to bristle. Most of the time, it's just disorganized thinking and someone trying to be too much of a people-pleaser.
I did end up telling her she had hurt my feelings and it turns out she had no idea and it wasn't intentional. She said she did not mean it that way so she clarified and everything is okay now! Thank you!
